


What We Need To Do

by WaaywardDaughter



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asthma, Child Loss, Depression, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Miscarriage, Scars, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 88,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaaywardDaughter/pseuds/WaaywardDaughter
Summary: Melody Trevelyan found herself in trouble after falling out of a strange Fade Rift, people from her past constantly appearing and threatening the life she had hoped to keep locked away. Assuming anothers name, she tries her hardest to keep her former life a secret while protecting her new friends.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cullen Rutherford worked hard to maintain his wall. His dreams and nightmares still haunt him though, through Kinloch, Kirkwall and now Haven. He thought he had finally forgotten her, the hole in his heart finally starting to heal, until a pair of lilac eyes locked with his.
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic that I have been debating on posting back and forth on typing this up and posting it. Sorry if it sounds rough, it has just been eating at me for weeks now since I started my third playthrough and I really just needed to through it out there.

_Cold._

_Again with the cold._

_Where's Darren? He should-_

"Aargh!", her thoughts were broken by a bright green light and pain running down her arm. In the brief light she could see where her wrists were bound together. Panic welled up inside of her as she began to look around her surroundings. _A dungeon. I am in a fucking dungeon._ Her chest and throat tightened as she squeezed her eyes shut. 

_No, no. Stay calm. Don't panic. It will just make things worse. Long in, long out. Long in, long out. You don't know why you are here._ Yes she did. She was a wanted criminal. Maybe they found out Darren was harboring her and had jailed him as well. She repeated this until she felt her lungs finally started relaxing and her throat felt less like it was in a vice grip. She had nearly calmed down when she heard footsteps coming towards the door in front of her. It burst open and the brightness from outside temporarily blinded her. 

"Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now. The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you,” a rich Nevarran voice cried out, her voice sounding angry but also filled with emotion. After gaining her eyesight back, she could see a woman with short black hair and a scar running along her left cheek down almost to her jaw. Her dark eyes were bright with tears of anger or sorrow. She wasn’t quite sure. Behind her another woman stood in a purple hood, her eyes shining an icy blue despite the low lighting and glimpses of orange hair fell in front of her face. Those eyes rang through her, a faint memory trying to crawl up from the faint recesses of her memory. A brief scent of lilac and vanilla tickled her nose as her heart warmed briefly. _Leli..?_

She was pulled from her thoughts as the black haired woman grabbed her glowing wrist, the mark crackling again and sending pains back up her arm. “Explain this," She growled angrily and pulled her towards her. Her resolve finally snapped and she tried to pull away. "I can't," she yelled back, feeling herself losing herself to her frustration, "I don’t know what that is or how it got there.” _Quite frankly, I would like it gone,_ she thought as the pain ebbed away. _Modest in Temper, Modest in Temper, Modest in Temper_ she chanted in her head. She would not allow herself to lose control of her feelings here.

"You're lying!" Her arm raised up to assault her and she began to brace herself but the woman in the back grabbed her. "We need her Cassandra," she said softly with an Orlesian accent that she knew belonged to Leliana. It had been years since she heard that voice. Memories of soft kisses, huddled up for warmth by the fire, wandering hands... 

"Wait what do you mean everyone is dead," the prisoner said with a voice above a whisper, the Nevarrans words ringing in her head pulling her out of her memory. _No. No, no, no, no he couldn't be. He's alive, I know he is. I would know if he was dead._ Panic began to bubble up again and she had to will herself to calm down before she had an episode in front of her... captors? She wasn't sure what to call them as they talked in hushed whispers in front of her. Leliana turned to her, her face looked soft but her eyes were hardened looking at her. "Do you remember what happened? How this began?” She questioned, her voice not betraying any emotion or recognition of the woman in front of her. _Not like she would recognize me. It was better this way._ She didn’t want her former lover to know what she had done. What she had helped do. The woman looked at her expectantly and she remembered she was waiting for a response. 

“I... I remember running. Things were chasing me. And then… a woman? There was a woman in front of me." She closed her eyes trying to remember what happened before she woke up down here, a prisoner. "Green. Lots of green too. She reached out to me." The woman, Cassandra from what Leliana called her, gently touched her shoulder before she could ask anything else. “Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take her to the rift.” Leliana nodded and left the room. 

"What is your name," Cassandra asked as she helped her up and began to switch her current restraints with rope. A weight was lifted off her shoulder. _They don't know. Thank goodness._ "Uhh m-my name is..." she froze for a second before returning to her straight face. "Evelyn. Evelyn Trevelyan." The black haired woman looked at her briefly then nodded. "What did happen," she asked softly as the warrior finished with the rope. 

“It will be easier to show you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The light was bright as she walked out after spending time in the dark cell. Evelyn brought her hands up to shield her face as she adjusted to the light, bringing them down just to see the swirling green... thing in the clouds where the temple once stood. A small gasp left her lips and she felt herself grow pale. “We call it the Breach. It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It’s not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the conclave,” Cassandra stated as they started walking.

“An explosion can do that,” she asked but she already knew what an explosion could do. Flashes of that night passed in her head and she forced herself to shake them off, refusing to let the nightmare come to a head. _I won’t think about that. About him. About what he did. What she didn't stop._

She hadn’t heard what Cassandra was saying and got ready to ask when the Breach crackled out and her mark reacted, pain rippled through her arm and she cried out falling to her knees, cradling her sparking wrist close to her chest with tears burning behind her eyes.

Cassandra came to stand beside Evelyn, helping her up as the mark calmed down. “Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this but there isn’t much time,” she explained as they pushed onward. Evelyn glared at the woman, feeling her rage build up again. “You think I did this to myself,” she nearly yelled but kept some restraint. Cassandra sighed and turned back towards her. “Not intentionally. _Something_ clearly went wrong.” 

“And what if I’m innocent,” she snarled, her temper rising. There were eyes on them, watching her since they started walking. She could feel the burn of a cough coming on and it was all she could do to stifle it from coming forward. _Stop, you are getting worked up. You don’t need to work yourself into an episode right now._

“Someone is, and you are our only suspect. You wish to prove your innocence? This is the only way.” _Of course, I am just the scapegoat._ She sighed and allowed herself to relax. “I understand. I will do whatever it takes.” Cassandra looked at her with shock then they began moving again.

The eyes never left them and she felt her cheeks begin to burn but she held her head high, remembering her mother's lessons in being a Lady and learning The Game. _You aren’t a Lady though are you?_

The voice whispered in her head. She gritted her teeth and continued to listen as Cassandra spoke. “They have decided your guilt. They need it. The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy, Divine Justinia. The Conclave was hers. It was a chance for peace between mages and templars. She brought their leaders together. Now, they are dead.” _You don’t need to tell me that,_ she thought to herself. Darren had asked her to come, her testimony may help turn the tide in the war. He was a Templar and he knew if he was at her side, they would listen. They had to. They made it to the gates where soldiers opened the gates for them. 

Once on the other side, Cassandra turned and cut her ropes, allowing her to shake her hands free. “There will be a trial Evelyn. I can promise no more.” She motioned for her to follow. “Come, it's not far.” Evelyn kept her pace behind her, practicing her breathing exercises as she followed.

“Where are you taking me,” she asked between her breaths. She didn’t have any potions on her and she knew she needed to be careful. Cassandra slowed and they began to walk at a brisk pace, but Evelyn relished in the slowness. “We need to test your mark on something smaller than the Breach,” she remarked as they made their way. _Smaller than the Breach,_ she thought to herself. _What in Andrastes flaming knickers have I got myself into now?_


	2. Chapter 2

Evelyn looked around as they approached the next set of doors. Her stomach twisted and rolled and it was all she could do to not purge on the bridge as they crossed. She heard the Chant being recited, the words ingrained into her mind from her childhood. _A Lot of good that did me._ Injured soldiers sat to the side and it took everything in her to not rush to their aid. _Mustn't show myself. They will kill me before we even get wherever we are going._ She closed her eyes as they passed cloth on the ground, covering what she assumed were fallen soldiers or innocent lives cut down. _Makers breath,_ she thought as she made a mental note of the corpses, both covered and not. _At least 30 here_ she said with a sigh. 30 too many.

“Open the gates! We are headed to the Valley,” Cassandra barked, her voice and accent pulling her through the inner thoughts of her mind and centering her. They followed the path up the hill and she made note of the destruction around her. There were fires burning and she smelled burnt flesh as she noticed a mage body and two templar corpses on the sides of the path. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief, noting the body size was too small to be Darren. _He’s alive, he has to be. He is the best fighter I know._ She repeated that to herself as they continued on the path, her strength growing as each corpse failed to match her beloved.

Once they reach the top of the hill, she feels the familiar pinpricks in her hand just as the mark sparks again, the pain bringing her to her knees once again and tears to her eyes. “Fuck...” she whispered under her breath, wishing the pain would just stop. Cassandra was back with her again, helping her to her feet. She wasn’t glaring as much now, but instead wore a face of concern.

“The pulses are coming faster now. The larger the Breach grows, the more rifts appear, the more demons we face.” _Of course there are fucking demons_ , Evelyn groaned inwardly. _As if I don’t see them enough in my Maker damned sleep._ She looked at Cassandra as they walked, her legs getting tired from all the walking. _Where's a horse when I need it?_

“How did I survive the blast,” she asked. She was almost sure she didn't want to know but she needed to. For her sake. She needed something to tell herself that she didn’t cause this. She was starting to doubt herself. 

“They said you stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious. They say a woman was behind you. No one knows who she was. Everything farther in the valley was laid waste, including the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I suppose you’ll see soon enough.” Cassandra trekked forward without another word while Evelyn gave a silent prayer for Darren. _If everything was destroyed, maybe..._ No she wouldn’t allow herself to think like that. She knew he had to be alive. He had to be.

As they crossed the second bridge, she made note of the carnage and sent a silent prayer up for their souls. They make their way across then a loud crackle brings her to look up as a rock covered in green flame lands in front of them destroying part of the bridge and they plummet to the frozen river below.

She groaned as they landed, the wind getting knocked out of her. Letting out a low cough she slowly started to get up when another rock landed just ahead near Cassandra, spitting out a Shade. “Fuuuck,” she groaned out as Cassandra ordered her to stay back. _Of course, I don’t plan on jumping in,_ she thought to herself. Until a shimmering green light forms in front of her, forming another Shade. _Of course. Why not? What else does the Maker want to throw at me!_

Panicked, Evelyn looks around knowing she could fight but that would lead her to being discovered. Her eyes land on a bow and quiver and her lilac eyes light up. She takes off towards it and gathers it up. Placing the quiver on her back, she reaches back to grab one and begins her assault against the Shade. Placing arrow against arrow into the demon with angry conviction. _So much for a peaceful life thanks to you fuckers,_ she growls internally. Within minutes, both enemies are down. 

Panting, she places her hands behind her head, brushing her deep red hair back, closes and takes a deep breath. “It’s over.”

“Put your weapon down!” She opened her eyes to the warrior pointing her sword at her, anger written all over her face again. 

“A demon fucking attacked me! What was I supposed to do,” Evelyn yelled, her anger finally getting the best of her. “Am I suppose to just let demons tear me to fucking shreds then?”

“You don’t need to fight.”

“Are you saying it won't happen again,” she asked and crossed her arms, refusing to drop the bow and placing it on her back. If the woman attacked her, she would defend herself the only other way she knew how. Kill her then run away. Maybe have her friends in the spy network to let Darren know where she is. Cassandra sighed and sheathed her weapon, much to her surprise.

“You’re right. I cannot protect you, and I cannot expect you to be defenseless.” _I’m not defenseless._ She turned to walk away but paused and Evelyn was worried she had heard her thoughts. “I should remember you agreed to come willingly.” _Only because I need to find my fiance and find a way to stop this damned mark._

Cassandra handed her some potions and nodded to her. “Take these potions,Maker knows what else we will face.” She took them gladly and glanced around. “Where are all your soldiers?”

“At the forward camp or fighting. We are on our own, for now.” They start making their way across the river and up the hill, no words shared between them. Evelyns lungs were still burning, begging for relief that she could not give herself right now. She spotted some elfroot and jogged to grab it up. “What are you doing,” Cassandra asked with her head tilted to the side.

“Well I figured with all the injured soldiers, the healers are going to need all they can get,” she explained as she finished gathering up the plant. _Also for my own personal stock._ Once they reached the top they spotted 2 Shades down below. In a not so quiet voice, Cassandra stated, “If we flank them we might have the advantage.” 

“Can’t flank if you announce it,” Evelyn grumbled as she drew her bow and began to rain arrows onto the Shades below, taking care to watch as Cassandra danced between them. In no time at all, the demons are dead. Her lungs burned a bit as she struggled to catch her breath. _Deep breaths like we practiced. In, Out, In, Out._ Once Cassandra caught up to her they continued along the river, praying it wouldn't give way under her feet. That water would be a faster death sentence than this mark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They head up the stone stairs fighting the Wraiths and demons that blocked their path. “Maker does it ever end,” she whined, her chest expanding heavily as she tried to force her body to take more air in. Her lungs were tight and her throat felt like it was in a vice grip. She would need to stop, and soon. 

“We are getting close to the rift. You can hear the fighting.”

“Who's fighting?”

“You will see soon. We must help them.” _Well no shit._ Evelyn kept the comment to herself, trying to reserve what energy she had for the battle ahead. They made it to the top where she saw a dwarf and an elf battling the demons from the rift with a couple of soldiers. She pulled out her bow and began popping off demons as Cassandra barged in. Her eyes lingered over the dwarf and her stomach dropped.

_Maker please don’t let him notice me._


	3. Chapter 3

Evelyn kept eyes on the seemingly nonstop wave of demons, her brain permanently hearing the _twang_ of the string again and again and again. Her lungs burned and she could feel her vision tunneling as she started to gasp for more air. Once she found her final mark, the elf grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the rift. “Hey what are you-”

“Quickly, before more come through!” He thrusted her arm up towards the rift, her mark instantly sparking against the shimmering rip in the world. Pain shot through her arm and she stifled a yelp as the rift closed with a rumble. She fell to her knees gasping for air as she felt a hand on her back, a cooling sensation flowing over her body and her lungs relaxing instantly from their spasms and her throat opening. _So much for not having an episode._

She looked up to see the elf looking over her with concerned eyes but a gentle smile. “Why did you not heal yourself,” he asked her as she stood up.

“You were injured?!” Cassandra scolded her, her face full of concern. She opened her mouth to speak but the dwarf spoke first. “Relax Seeker, I am sure Songbird can handle herself,” he said with a smile. _No, no don’t notice me. Quick-_ “I’m sorry ma’am, I sometimes have episodes where if I overwork myself and become stressed, it feels like a Qunari has me in a hug around my chest,” Evelyn quickly explained while trying to seem as polite as possible. 

“That still doesn’t explain why you would suffer instead of healing yourself, unless it isn’t your preferred school,” the elf asked again, his face full of questions. 

“I-I am sorry but I think you have me confused. I’m not a mage and these health potions wouldn’t do much against it,” she stuttered out quickly hoping to deter the elfs questions.

“Sure you are Songbird! You saved Hawkes and I asses plenty of-” 

“You knew Hawke, Evelyn!? I knew I shouldn’t have unshackled you! ”

Evelyn stepped back quickly, her heart pounding as Cassandra stalked forward her face full of anger once again. “I-! don’t know what the dwarf is talking about! My name is Evelyn Trevelyan, not Songbird or whatever he is calling me. I have never been to Kirkwall! I am from Ostwick! I came here with my fiance to attend The Conclave!” Her voice shook as she felt tears well up in her eyes. She hated denying she knew him, especially after all he did to help her after she tried to leave. After seeing _him._

The elf must have sensed her distress because he came to her side and studied her for a moment. “I apologize my Lady, I must have been mistaken. I can't sense any form of magic from you now so I assume it must be from the rift closing.” The dwarf stared at her for a moment before bowing his head and shaking it. “Melody told us you died.” 

“Well I assure you, I am very much alive,” she spat, feeling the bile rise in her throat. She knew this lie would come back to bite her one day and it nearly did.

Cassandra watched her for a moment before turning to the dwarf. “Varric...” She started and turned her back to them, starting a conversation with the dwarf. Evelyn looked at the elf and where the rift used to be then her hand. No pain. No sparking. Nothing.

“What did you do,” she finally asked once she got her voice back. The elf shrugged as the Seeker and dwarf returned to the group. “I did nothing. The credit is yours.”

“You mean this?” She lifted her hand and twisted it around.

“Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breachs wake- and it seems I was correct.”

Cassandra looked at the elf, for the first time she looked excited. “Meaning it could also close the Breach itself?” The elf shrugged and looked towards the Seeker then Evelyn again. “Possibly. It seems you hold the key to our salvation.” _Awesome. Maker what have you put me through._

The dwarf stepped forward and grinned. “Good to know! I thought wed be ass deep in demons forever.”

She giggled and nodded. “I did too honestly. I feel like I owe you an apology and a proper introduction. My name is Evelyn Trevelyan and I am sorry for snapping at you. You were fond of my sister then?”

He smiled and nodded. “I was. She saved my ass more times than I can count. Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller and occasionally unwelcome tagalong,” he stated which earned him a scowl of disapproval from Cassandra.

“And I am Solas if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live,” the elf stated as he watched her with the curious look in his eyes. 

“He means he kept that mark from killing you while you slept.” Varric stated with a smirk. 

“Well then I owe you my thanks Solas,” Evelyn stated then looked at the others in their group. “So what now?’

“We go meet Leliana.” _Leliana._ Her mind toned out the quarreling of the Seeker and dwarf as she realized she would have to face her again. Face her and keep a straight face without letting her in on how much she regretted everything. _She knew she hurt the bard but she couldn’t sit around before the Battle of Denerim. Not when she wasn’t sure if her lover would be returning. She couldn’t deal with that heartbreak too. So she ran. Like the coward she knew she was. Once she learned they were all asleep minus Morrigan who already knew what she had planned, she slipped away from their camp in the night with a kiss planted on her cheek as she slept and left a single Andrastes Grace on her pillow._

“My Lady?” She broke out of her thoughts and looked at the elf who started at her. “I-I am sorry I wasn’t listening.” Everyone looked at her with blank stares. _Stay out of your head, Trevelyan._

“I was saying that you since you are no mage, there was no worry that you caused any of this. Even if you _were,_ I would have a hard time any mage could possess such power.” He stated as-a-matter-of-factly. Solas started at her softly and gave her a small grin. _He knows I am lying._

“Th-that's good to know. Thank you.”

“Understood. We must make for the forward camp quickly.”

The dwarf looked around and shrugged. “Well, Biancas excited.” She gave a smile and followed the group over the rubble as she gave a soft begging plea.

_Maker why are you throwing my past in my face. Let me just close the Breach and be done. I don’t know how long I can do this. Evelyn I am so sorry..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the little battle scenes, they are my weakness, I am still studying and practicing and hoping to get better. Practice makes perfect right?


	4. Chapter 4

They made their way through the rubble, each keeping to themselves. The path was already narrow and fairly steep so they had to focus on not slipping. Or at least try not to. She kept herself in the back to watch everyone, not entirely trusting the warrior not to run her through. Varric, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. The elf- Solas?- she felt he wouldn’t necessarily kill her, after spending time saving her from the mark. Cassandra? She had no doubt she would end her. She still believed her guilty after all.

Evelyns mind was wandering to her nights in The Hanged Man, playing Wicked Grace with Hawke and her misfits or wandering through Darktown and dealing with slavers and Carta assassins. She thought of the healer that she spent many nights with, curled into his embrace for warmth and protection, his laughter, warm and full of mirth. 

She smiled briefly at the memories before stepping on a rock in just enough of a wrong way that rolled her ankle and she slid down the path with a cry of pain. The group paused, weapons drawn to fight whatever caused the prisoner to cry out just to see her sliding through the snow and mud. She let out a groan and waved them ahead, her cheeks burning from embarrassment.  _ Focus damn it. No point in Darren finding your corpse with its neck broke after making it this far. _

She groaned inwardly. Why hadn’t she seen him yet? Surely he would of come for her when she was in that cell? What if he didn’t-

“Demons ahead!” Evelyn pulled her mind back, refusing to fall into the trap of despair.  _ He is alive. I know he is.  _ They hang back to watch the 4 demons skirt around the frozen river. 

“Well, there are 4 demons and 4 of us. Cassandra, take the greater Shade, You have the shield and can block its hits better than us,” Evelyn instructed before her brain could comprehend what she was saying. Expecting the warrior to complain, she glanced at her and was shocked to see her nod in agreement.  _ Didn’t know she did that, _ she remarked in her head before turning to Solas.

“You take the lesser Shade. It will be weaker and go down sooner before it reaches us. Varric, you and I will take the wraiths.” They nodded in agreement and everyone drew their weapons. “Lets kill us some demons.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The battle wasn’t as short as the others, the more powerful Shade drawing their attention as Varric and Evelyn finished off their Wraiths and splitting off, Varric helping Cassandra and she helping Solas. Soon enough they were finished with these demons as well.

“Glad you brought me now Seeker,” Varric asked in a short pant while cleaning some goo off which earned him a growl of disgust from the Seeker. Evelyn smirked and rolled her shoulders, shaking off the adrenaline that was coursing through her body. “Can’t complain much when you helped save her ass huh?” That rewarded Evelyn her own growl of disgust.  _ This will be fun.  _ She glanced at a cabin and nodded toward it. “Lets check it out. There could be survivors inside. Or something we could use at least.”

Evelyn made her way over to a cabin and glanced around, noticing the body out front. “Well no one's home. Not anymore anyway.” She walked around the inside of the cabin and decided there wasn’t anything she wanted to take. They made their way back up the river, to more stairs.  _ So many damned stairs,  _ she complained in her mind. She knew it was a long walk but all the fighting just made it longer, it seemed. They stumbled across 3 more demons and made short work of them. 

“So you’re from the Free Marches?” Evelyn glanced at the dwarf and blinked a few times. “Hm?”

“Accent. I’m from Kirkwall but you said you’re from Ostwick? Melody never talked about her past, much less you.” She nodded and kept walking.  _ Because my family abandoned me to the wolves. _

She let out a groan of pain, leaning over and clutching her hand to her chest as it sparked again and sent pains through her arm. “Shit, you okay kid,” Varric asked softly, stopping to stand with her. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she nodded, waiting for the pain to start ebbing. “Hold on. We haven't much farther,” Cassandra added softly. “I know it's difficult but we must keep moving.” The pain faded and she straightened, taking a deep breath and pulling her blood red hair back into a ponytail.

“I'm good, lets keep moving.” They continued up the path and she continued her conversation with Varric, missing his companionship and smooth voice. 

“So are you innocent?”

She chuckled and shrugged, trying not to show how much she was uncertain. “I don't remember anything. I woke up in a cell.”

“Should of spun a story. More believable and less likely to end in your premature death.”

“That's what you would have done,” Cassandra stated with a bit of disgust  _ Okay, so they don't like each other. _

The path seemed to take forever, fighting more demons and Evelyns arm getting tired. Cassandra cleaned the goo off her sword before sheathing it, looking ahead. “I hope Leliana made it through this.” 

“She's resourceful Seeker, Im sure shes fine.”

Evelyn nodded and smirked to herself.  _ Leli can handle herself, she did all those years ago.  _ Her smile sagged and she shook her head. They continued the path, coming across another fade rift and soldiers struggling to deal with it. Her hand sparked with pain being in proximity of the rift and she brushed it off, pulling her bow off her back and helped the soldiers. Her arrow found its mark, a wraith disappearing into the rift as she turned towards a Shade moving towards her.  _ Twang, twang, twang. 1, 2, 3. Down, down, down.  _ She let out a sigh as the demons fell, one by one, and faded into the rift.

“Hurry use the mark,” Solas shouted and Evelyn looked at her hand, thrusting it forward in the same manner the elf had done earlier. The mark sparked to life as she felt herself being pulled towards the rift. Gritting her teeth, she braced herself against the ground and pushed her hand forward, pouring the mysterious magic into the rift. It disappeared with a rumble and she fell to the ground, her hand not stinging as much this time but taking her schooled deep breaths, calming her burning lungs and throat.

Cassandra helped her to her feet with a nod then turned towards the gate. “The rift is gone! Open the gate.”

“Yes Lady Cassandra.”

They made their way onto the bridge and she glanced around. There were more soldiers here.  _ I still don’t see Darren.  _ Her heart thumped in her chest as they made it further up the bridge. More dead, she could hear the Chat being recited by one of the Chantry sisters as she passed.  _ What if one of the dead is- No. No. Don’t think like that.  _ She made her way around, refusing to look at the cloth covered bodies. She wouldn’t allow herself think on those things. The sound of arguing grew as they approached Leliana and a member of the Chantry. A rather heated argument at that.

_ Maker help me through this. _


	5. Chapter 5

Evelyn looked at Varric as they approached the arguing group and shrugged. As if today couldn’t get anymore interesting. 

“ _I_ have caused trouble?” She heard her gasp and then saw her eyes look up to meet the group as they approached them.

“Ah you made it. Chancellor Roderick, this is-”

“I know who she is. As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I order you to take this criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution.” _He knows?_ Her heart raced as she pulled her bow out ready to defend herself. _I won’t leave without a fight._ Cassandra stepped forward before anything could happen, standing between her and the Chancellor. Roderick that called him?

“Order me? You are a glorified clerk, a bureaucrat,” she spat. Evelyn slowly put her bow away, still on edge about everything. She watched them argue before reaching up and rubbing her temple. “Don’t talk about me like I'm not here,” she said loud enough to drown out the arguing. The man wheeled around to face her, fury written on his face. “You shouldn't even be here!”

“EXCUSE ME-,” her argument was cut off as the Chancellor turned back to the warrior. Varric put his hand on her arm, motioning for her to breathe. She nodded and did just that with closed eyes while repeating her family's motto in her mind. _Modest in Temper, Modest in Temper, Modest in Temper._ She opened them back up as the Breach let out a groan and began to grow again, causing her mark to spark and pain to surge again. 

“Makers breath please stop arguing,” she said with gritted teeth as the pain ebbed away. She straightened herself up, her eyes glowing with a soft purple color from the tears that she bit back. “What do you think we should do Evelyn? The path is the quickest, we can charge with the soldiers.”

“Or use the soldiers as a distraction and take the mountain path. Albeit slower but itll be safer,” Leliana countered and Cassandra shook her head. “We lost a whole squad up there! It will be just as risky, if not more!”

“You’re asking my opinion?” She could hardly believe her ears. First she was a prisoner, now she's supposed to decide a path? Either way people may die. “We charge the with soldiers. I won’t survive long enough for your trial anyways. Whatever happens, happens now.”

“Listen to me. Abandon this now, before more lives are lost,” Roderick cried, looking at the group. Evelyn turned and looked at him and smirked. “Grand Chancellor, why don’t you go help the injured and start preparing rights for the dead instead of bothering the people trying to _stop_ more death,” she crooned, her purple eyes narrowing at the man. He looked at her with shock, no words coming out. He quickly gathered himself and turned to walk away. “On your head be the consequences.” She nodded and added softly, “Wouldn't be the first time.”

Cassandra smirked and looked over at Leliana. “Bring everyone left in the valley. Everyone.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How many rifts are there,” Varric groaned as Evelyn sees the green glimmer up ahead. Soldiers were already fighting demons that poured out of the tear. Her eyes locked onto a taller soldier, his blonde curls bouncing in the light. “Lets get in there and help them,” she said as she pulled her bow off her back. A Shade made its way towards the blonde man who was engaged with another Shade. _Twang._ Her arrow found its mark, the Shade fading into the rift. The man sliced through the Shade in front of him and turned to face her, his amber colored eyes locking into her lilac ones. _Maker is this my punishment?_ Screams filled her mind as she remembered the Circle that she never should of been at. 

“We must seal the rift if we are to get past,” Solas yelled as he finished off a Wraith, pulling her out of her thoughts. She ran forward as two lesser Terror demons spawned from the rift. _Twang. Twang. Twang._ Her shots landed into the one closest to her, Cassandra finishing it off as her sword rammed into the demon. It let out a shriek and faded into the rift. 

“It's jumping watch out,” a baritone voice called out. The ground shimmered under her and she barely had time to move before the second Terror burst from the ground, knocking her back with a sharp cry. She felt her head hit the rocks behind her, her eyes swimming from the pain. The creature moved towards her, and she couldn't get her legs to work. _Well this is it. No worries about a trial after all._ She closed her eyes waiting for the pain to come yet it never did. “Come on Evelyn, let go,” the elf said as he helped her to her feet. She saw Cassandra and the blonde man finish off the terror and she limped towards the rift, thrusting her hand forward and closing it. 

“Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this,” Solas stated with a soft smile. She grinned back before grabbing a health potion, drinking it real quick as she gained her bearing. “Lets hope it closes the big one,” Varric said, cleaning off the remains of the terror demons from his crossbow.

“Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift? Well done,” the blonde man said as he jogged over to the group. Her heart jumped to her throat as she looked at the man, older than she remembered. She hadn't expected to see him again yet she managed to keep running into him. 

“Do not congratulate me Commander. It was the prisoners doing,” Cassandra said, pointing to her. Evelyn felt her face grow hot under his searching gaze, his eyes narrowing. “Is it? Well I hope they are right about you. We've lost a lot of good people getting you here,” he said firmly. Her eyes skimmed over the scar, a new addition since she last saw him. “You’re not the only one hoping that,” she replied coolly, hoping her face showed no emotion. “We will see soon enough, won't we,” he replied grimly. Solas came to stand by her, a hand on her shoulder. “Lady Trevelyan, we must make-” 

“Trevelyan? Melody?” The Commander moved towards her, his jaw set. His eyes flashed with recognition and she felt herself step back. _Damn it Solas._ Varric stepped forward and shook his head. “No Curly, this is her sister Evelyn. No one has seen Melody since she feld Kirkwall after you tried to run her through,” he explained quickly. He looked at the dwarf then her, and he could see his jaw slowly working loose. “I see. My apologies,” he said slowly, his eyes not leaving hers, guilt flaring in his eyes at the dwarfs words. She nodded and looked around, her eyes falling on a Templar laying dead on the ground. 

Her stomach dropped. _No, no, no, no._ She pulled away from the group and ran over,ignoring the calls from the group. Her feet slid out from under her as she fell beside the body. The Ostwick cape lay beside him, the edges burnt and smouldering, the blue stained with blood and ash. She reached forward to remove the helmet and hesitated. A hand rested on her shoulder and she looked up to see _him_ looking at her with sympathy. She quickly looked away and moved to remove the helmet. 

A soft cry left her lips as she balled her hands up. “Oh Darren,” she whispered mournfully and felt her tears slip down her face before she could stop them. _This is a nightmare. It has to be._ “You knew him,” he asked softly as she slowly stood. She nodded and quickly wiped away her tears. “We... we were engaged to each other,” she said softly. She couldn't look into those amber eyes, remembering the first time she saw them filled with unrelenting rage and fear.

_“You let them live? They could have demons in them.. Lying in wait,” he yelled. She hid behind the Wardens that had saved them. “Cullen...” she said in a soft whimper. He really couldn't be for making the whole Circle Tranquil. Could he? He looked directly at her. “You let her live?! She's one of them! She's a demon in disguise,” he cried and drew his weapon. Her heart shattered as she stepped back, nearly falling over as Wynne gathered her up in her arms. The Wardens immediately stood between her and Irving quickly spoke up. “She cannot be as she was trapped with me,” he said sternly. Gregior glared at him and turned back to Irving. “Are you sure?” He nodded and turned to face the Knight-Commander. “She never left my side, there is no way she could be.” Irving then looked at the woman Warden, his eyes full of sorrow. “I hate to ask this of you, but please take her with you. I fear she will not be safe here if she remains.” The Warden, Elise?, she couldn’t remember what the other man called her, nodded, “Of course. We will need the help. Provided we are still getting our help from the mages.”_

_Melody let out a whimper and looked at Irving. “Please, I want to stay with you,” she cried softly, her tears falling before she could stop them. He simply shook his head and smiled, “No child, you will be safer with the Wardens. I am sure Wynne can help you with your studies should you have any questions,” he said and glanced at the older woman who nodded and smiled. “Of course Irving.” The Knight-Commander cleared his throat and nodded. “Then its settled. The mages shall meet you in Redcliffe and the girl goes with you. Maker bless you.” Cullen roared and wheeled around on his superior. She heard the argument as Wynne guided her towards the door, Irving slipped a pendant to the Warden and was talking to her in a low voice as the Knight-Commander faced the screaming Templar. “You're letting them LEAVE? She's a DEMON!”_

_“Stand DOWN, Ser Knight!”_

“Evelyn, you okay” she heard Varric say softly as she blinked her eyes. Everyone was looking at her with concern. “Y-yes Im, im fine.” She shook her head and reached down, pulling the pendant over her fiances head with a shuddering sigh and quickly pocketing it. “We have a Breach to close don’t we,” she said cheerfully and pushed through the crowd moving towards the temple with a new found conviction.

“Maker watch over you - for all our sakes” she heard him say behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

They made their way through the Temple- well what was left. How some of the charred walls remained standing, Maker knows. The young girls heart thudded in her chest, the sight of the burnt corpses burning themselves into her mind. _ They didn’t have time to run,  _ her mind whispered to itself. Some lay upon the ground as if they were knocked back while others were frozen into place as if they were shielding themselves from the explosion, while others stop as if they didn’t know what was happening.  _ Wonder if this is what Kirkwall looked like after the explosion?  _

She faintly heard the others in her group speaking to each other and she turned her gaze towards them. The Breach was far larger than any of the other rifts they closed. It sparked and crackled as a sickly green floated around it.  _ It will take alot of power to close this one girl,  _ the voice in her head murmured. She tried to ignore the doubt and fear filling her heart as she glanced down below where they stood. 

“The Breach is a long way up,” Varric said to no one in particular. 

“I fell out of there,” Evelyn asked softly, her voice sounding with a hint of disbelief. The height alone should have at least broken something. Even if Solas had been by her side, she should feel the aches from the bones being mended back together. Yet there was none. Cassandra nodded and glanced over at her. “They said there was a woman behind you. No one knows who she was,” she stated again. Behind them footsteps approached at a quickened paste. Turning around, she caught the sight of the soldiers that were left from the trek and Leliana pushing her way forward.

”Thank the Maker you made it,” the woman sighed with relief. Cassandra turned to her and pointed to the area around them. “Have your men set up around the Temple.” Leliana nodded and returned to start giving orders to the soldiers. 

Her hand began to prickle as she noticed a slight throbbing in her head, her stomach rolingl like a wave in a storm. Bringing her free hand up, she rubbed her temple and closed her eyes, trying to keep from purging on the ground. She knew she had a slight concussion from hitting her head on the ground and had yet to ask Solas for healing.  _ Wouldn’t need it if you had just told the truth, _ the voice sassed. She shook her head and glanced over at Cassandra who was making her way back to her side.

“This is your chance to end this,” the Seeker said coolly. “Are you ready?”

_ Will it convince you I’m innocent,  _ she almost said in a snap. The throbbing in her head and the slight burn of her hand was making her irritable. Instead she took a deep breath, calming her nerves and looked up at the Breach. “I’m assuming you have a plan to get me up there,” she said instead, glancing at the woman who simply shook her head. Instead it was Solas who spoke up, his voice full of conviction.

“No. This rift was the first and is the key. Seal it, and perhaps we seal the breach,” he said firmly. She looked back at the Breach and nodded. “Well, let’s find a way down there, shall we?”

They followed the path with the spy in tow. No one said anything. There wasn’t much to say. This either worked or it didn’t. Her head began to throb more and she had to resist cooling the tips of her fingers to help ease it.  _ Maker why does this hurt so bad? _

As they rounded the corner a loud voice spoke into the empty building, its voice vibrating into Evelyns body, making her shiver.

“Now is the hour of our victory. Bring forth the sacrifice”

Everyone paused to look around. No one else was in the destroyed building aside from their group and the soldiers. That much they knew. “What are we hearing,” Cassandra asked, her hand on her pommel reading to strike.

“At a guess: the person who created the Breach,” Solas remarked, his voice filled with wonder.

As they passed two soldiers on a ledge above them her headache grew significantly worse, a soft humming ringing in her ears. She leaned over with a sharp exhale, bringing both hands to her head and kneading her temples with her fingers. “You know this is red lyrium Seeker,” she heard Varric mention to the female warrior, her breaths coming in heavy pants now.  _ Of course its here. Why wouldn’t it be. _

“I see it, Varric.”

“Hey kid, you okay,” The dwarf asked though he sounded as if he was yelling down a long tunnel.  _ Maker please, make this stop,  _ she groaned inwardly. She knew her body reacted negatively to the stuff after the Deep Roads voyage she embarked on with Hawke, Varric and Anders. Her stomach ached for  _ weeks  _ from all the spasms after being emptied of everything but the water she sipped. Her stomach spasmed and she felt bile rise in her throat before she could stop it. Her stomach purged what was in it- which was nothing considering she didn't remember when she ate last- and she found herself gagging though nothing was coming up. Her head throbbed more with each spasm and she nearly caved, feeling the magic surge under her finger tips. 

Cool hands touched the back of her neck before she could act though, a soft cooling mist coursing through her body as the pain and nausea slowly subsided.  _ Solas.  _ She looked up to a waterskin being held out in front of her, the elven man holding it with a soft smile. She nodded graciously and took small, trained sips, rinsing out the leftover taste in her mouth. “Your sister was sensitive to the stuff too,” she heard as she saw Varric looking at her with sympathetic eyes.

“Must run in the family,” she muttered and straightened herself. The pain in her head was reduced to a dull ache and she handed the waterskin to the mage beside her with a silent nod of gratitude.

“So, red lyrium huh?”

“Yup,” the dwarf said, the tension stretching his voice. “But what is it doing here?”

“Magic could of drawn on the lyrium, corrupted it,” Solas offered, glancing at it with a stoic face.

“It's evil. Whatever you do, don’t touch it,” Varric warned.  _ No fucking chance of that. Maker how do I end up in these situations? Do you enjoy testing me? _

As they approached the end of the path, the voice rang out again.

“Keep the sacrifice still.”

“SOMEONE! HELP ME!” A frightened womans voice called out into the space.

“That's Divine Justinias voice,” Cassandra cried out. The group quickened their pace to the end of the path, sliding down the incline to the bottom of the Temple, the Breach looming mysteriously above them. The mark sparked angrily at being near the large rift and Evelyn gripped her wrist, hoping that it would at least dull the pain in her hand.

Another echo from the Fade thundered to life around them, the Divines voice crying out around them.

“SOMEONE! HELP ME!”

“Whats going on here,” she heard herself ask.  _ Wait, do I really sound like that?  _

Cassandra ran up to her, looking around as her eyes were filled with frustration and... sorrow? “The most Holy called out to you. But...”

The room filled with a bright light and everyone hands came up to shield themselves from being blinded, albeit temporary. Ghost-like figures floated before them, a creature with blood red eyes stood before the Divine, a red energy holding the woman up to him.

“What's going on here,” Evelyn heard herself ask again as she entered the room that held the Divine and her captors.

“Run while you can! Warn them!” The woman cried out to her, fear filling her voice.

“We have an intruder,” the creature stated, its red eyes seemed to bore into her. “Kill her. Now”

Another light filled the room and the apparitions were gone. She looked around as Cassandra turned to face her, her face full of questions and anger.

“You were there! Who attacked? And the Most Holy? Is she...?” 

The questions rattled off faster than Evelyn could comprehend. She felt her resolve slip and ran a hand through her hair, sticky from demonic ichor and sweat as she started to pace. “I don’t remember,” She yelled at the Seeker, her heart pounding over what she had seen and her throat feeling tight from the stress of the day again. She started taking deep breaths and squatted down towards the ground, willing herself to calm down.

”Was this vision true? What did we see?” Cassandra continued to press, ignoring the look of panic on the womans face. She needed answers and Evelyn knew she wouldn’t stop until she got them. Solas quickly stepped in and offered his thoughts, seeing the shape the young woman on the ground was in.

“Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place.” He said while looking around them before his eyes fell on the large green tear above their heads. “This rift is not sealed, but it is closed… albeit temporarily. I believe with the mark, the rift can be opened and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.” 

Cassandra unsheathed her sword, the ring echoing through the destroyed Temple and removed her shield from her back. “That means demons, stand ready!” She called out, everyone removing either their bows from their backs or the swords in preparation. 

Solas held his hand out and Evelyn took it, glancing up at the rift above them and sighed, her hand sparking as she looked at her group. “Well, guess it's time to prove my innocence,” she called, hoping Cassandra heard her as she thrusted her hand towards the rift. The strange magic connected, tearing open the rip once again. 

She fell to her knees briefly, catching her breath. A loud roar brought her up and her bow off her back as a Pride Demon stood before them, chuckling loudly and swinging an electrical whip towards the group. She nocked an arrow, firing it towards the demon just to have it bounce off.  _ It's armored up _ , she groaned. The rift above her sparked and she looked at the group, Cassandra calling out to work down its defenses. 

She quickly thrusted her hand up into the rift, once again popping it. The demon let out a roar and fell to one knee, stunned as the rift zapped it.  _ The rifts stun the demons _ , she thought excitedly. She pulled out another arrow, releasing it towards the demon. Arrow after arrow flew into the beast before it staggered to its feet. It cracked its whip, swiping towards Evelyn. She had just enough time to somersault backwards, the shock of the weapon making her hair stand on end as she landed on her feet. The ground glimmered as more demons began to form. “More demons, prepare yourself,” she yelled over the sound of clashing metal. She nocked another arrow and let it fly as the first Shade appeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her arm grew tired as wave after wave of demons came through the rift.  _ It's never ending.  _ If she wasnt filling them with arrows, she was setting off the rift to stun them to give her companions an advantage. Her chest was tight with exhaustion and pain, a burn on her leg making it hard to stand from where she wasn’t quite fast enough avoiding the Pride Demons electric weapon. The demon was finally weakened enough that her final shock into the rift above nearly killed it, Cassandra thrusting her sword through its throat to finish it with a roar.

“Seal the rift!”

Evelyn quickly her hand back up, feeling the magic pull through her arm. The pain increased the longer she held it but she refused to drop it. She heard Cassandra yell at her to close it and she gritted her teeth.  _ Not like I'm not trying.  _ She felt her throat close up and her chest burned as she took in gulps of air. Her free hand reached up to brace the other as she felt darkness creep up into the corners of her vision. She heard the  _ pop _ as the rift sealed and brightness filled the room.

She heard the cheers as she fell to her knees, her body shutting down. She panicked as she realized she couldn’t breathe, falling forward as she finally embraced the darkness that surrounded her. 

_ Thank the Maker it's over. I'm coming Darren... _


	7. Chapter 7

_“Come on little sister, before the tide comes in” Evelyn called ahead of her twin. The salty sea air whipped around the girls as they ran along the coast towards a large cliff. Despite the sun shining brightly above them, Gray clouds gathered on the horizon and it didn’t settle well within Melodys stomach. She sped up to catch up with her sister, panting against the wind and chill that had started to settle over them. “Wait up,” she cried as she trailed behind her sister, watching her waist length red hair flow behind her._

_Despite being twins and the lilac coloring of their eyes, the 13-year-old girls couldn't be more different. Evelyn preferred the dresses and parties their mother forced them to attend while Melody wanted to be in the ring with her brothers, learning how to wield a sword and how to ride horses. She loved wrestling in the mud, showing she could keep up with the older Trevelyans while Evelyn wanted to stay inside with their mother, learning to be a “Lady”._

_They approached the cliff and slowed, the waves breaking against it in a low roar. “We mustn't be long,” Melody panted out. Her sister, despite being the “girlier” of the two, was more athletic by far. Understandably so. They had been born early, much to everyones surprise. Evelyn had been the bigger babe, appearing to be nearly full sized while Melody was small, almost too small. Her lungs hadn’t developed properly and in return, she dealt with life long issues. “Even little ones born full term deal with these episodes sometimes. She may grow out of it as she gets older,” the healers said after her first episode, nearly killing her. Episodes where it felt like a Mabari would crush her chest, leaving her gasping for air and panicking._

_Her father coddled her, always remembering the long sleepless nights, pleading with the Maker to save the weak baby. “The doctors and Healers hadn't expected you to survive the night,” her father had whispered as he held her in his lap one night after a particularly bad episode._

_The eldest twin stared down at her painting sister and pulled out a dark blue vial, shimmering softly under the light._

_“I am sorry Mel,” she said with concern as she handed the drink to her sister who paused to drink it down before sitting and taking deep breaths._

_“It's okay. You head in, I'll be right behind you,” she said and waved her in. She watched as her sister slid into the crack in the wall and she got up to follow._

_“Alright, what is it you wanted to tell me,” Evelyn asked once they were inside the cave. Little water droplets plopped down from the ceiling, everything still wet from the hightide. The eldest girl pulled a candle out of her small pack, illuminating the room, shadows bouncing off the various rocks Melody let out a slow breath and turned to face her sister._

_“You have to promise you won't tell Mother and Daddy,” she begged softly, her hands folded in front of her._

_“Mel what's the matter? Are you in trouble,” Evelyn asked softly, her voice suddenly urgent. She was always the protector, despite their squabbles._

_“N-no. I mean not really,” she started before closing her eyes. “You have to promise though. Not a word.” Outside, the waves began to crash louder and the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance, the wind picking up and howling against the opening of the cave._

_“Alright I promise. What's going on little sister?”_

_She let out a sigh and opened her hand. A small purple flame lit up in her palm and danced, its light brightening the little cave with a purple light more than the candle would even hope to._

_“You’re... you’re a mage?”_

_“Yes... You have to promise me you won’t tell them! If they knew, they would send for the Templars. They would take me away and I would never see you again!”_

_“Melody you have to go! You aren't safe by yourself! At a Circle, they could teach you to control it-”_

_“I already can control it! I've been controlling it and hiding it for the last six months!” She was beginning to regret telling her sister._

_“What if you become possessed Mel? What- What if Noah or-or one of our cousins come here? They would know you're a mage and it would get Mother and Father in trouble?! WE are suppose to become Templars!” Her sisters voice was becoming hysterical. “We have a duty to the Maker and our family. I'm sorry but I have to tell them.” Evelyn pushed passed her sister and ran out of the cave._

_“Evelyn wait!” Melody tore off after her sister, rain starting to fall as the storm made landfall. Sand shifted under her feet as she chased after her sister, her chest burning from the running. Her sister ran into the wooded area that led to their family home long before she caught up. The wind howled around her as she panted heavily, panic filling her chest._

_Suddenly a loud crackle filled the air and green surrounded her, causing her to jump and look to the sky. “Wh-what's happening,” she yelled and looked around her, seeing the green swirling clouds in the sky.._

“She's still fevered Seeker. Unless we can get it down, she will not make it.”

_She whipped her head around trying to find the voice. The sea salt air and trees had faded away and now she stood in the Temple of Sacred Ashes, the smell of burnt flesh and fires burning her nose and throat. Her left hand lit up green as the mark flashed and flared, pain rising through her hand and arm._

“Solas! Her mark!”

“There's not much I can do Commander. It's a magic I am unfamiliar with. All I can tell you is it is no threat to us, only her.”

_“Who's there,” she yelled into the darkness. Her heart raced and she started pushing towards the exit of the Temple. She knew she needed to escape, get to Haven, find Darren-_

_Darren. Her stomach dropped as she nearly ran into the Templar who grabbed her, steadying her on her feet. “Whoa there sweetie, where are you off to in such a hurry,” he asked in his soft voice. She looked into his emerald eyes, her heart throbbing. He shouldn't be here, we shouldn't be here. Loud voices thundered above them again and she clung to her fiance._

“I would appreciate it if we had a Templar stationed outside her room while I work. I don't feel comfortable-”

“I will stand by Adan. I may not be with the Order anymore but she's already had two attempts on her life. I hurt her family enough, she’d burn me alive if I let her die before she discovered that her only sister lived. Any improvement?”

“The fevers broke finally. Her breathing is not troubling her. I expect her to wake soon.”

“Good. That's... That's good.”

_The voices faded away and she focused_

_“Darren we need to get out of here. I don’t know what's going on but we need to leave. Th-The Conclave, it was a bust and-”_

_“Melody, Melody, calm down it's fine. Look,” he motioned around them to show the lush green of The Hinterlands. She frowned and shook her head. “No, no that's not right. The Temple, it-it exploded.”_

_“No my sweet songbird, it was a success. The mages are free. You don't need to hide anymore.”_

_She let out a giggle and held onto him. “I... I'm free?” He held her closer and allowed herself to fall into his embrace, smelling the sandalwood scented shave creme he used daily, the smell of leather and sweat wrapping around her with an undertone of... sulfur? She glanced up at him and her eyes hardened, tears burning. “You aren't Darren. He's dead.” She quickly pulled herself away and distanced herself from him._

_The Templar scowled briefly and crossed his arms. “How can I be dead when I'm in front of you Melody? You had a bad dream. I am very much so alive.” His voice was distorted and her head thudded in her chest. He put his hands down and advanced towards her but she took a step back, a purple flame forming in her head._

_“Back demon. You may wear his face but you are not him.”_

_He laughed, a deep, dark belly laugh that once sent heat rushing through her body only sent chills through her. He drew his sword and advanced on her. “You aren't leaving girl. I spent too much time keeping you here, I will not lose you now.” She felt her magic fizzle out as she moved backwards to maintain space between them. The mark on her hand sparked and sent pain through her hand, causing her to drop to her knees. The demon hovered over her and raised his weapon, preparing to bury it in her back._

_Shards of ice shot towards the demon, impaling it. It let out a scream of pain before fading away. She looked towards the area the shots came from but saw no one._

“Wake up, my Lady. Wake up.”


	8. Chapter 8

She jumped with a start, her heart racing. The smell of a fire filled her nose, the sounds of it crackling filled her ears.She glanced down at her hand, the mark oddly silent.  _ I need to tell them the truth _ , she thought to herself. She couldn't keep living like this, under her dead sisters name. Melody let out a sigh and started to stand. A box crashed and made her jump, her hand getting hot from the magic ready to throw a fireball. An elf looked at her startled, her face full of fear.

“Oh I didn't know you were awake my Lady I swear!” Her voice quivered with fear and Melody felt herself fill with regret. “Why are you afraid? What happened?” Did she expose her secret and hurt someone? She felt the cold weight of dread fill her gut and she looked at the shaking woman only seemed more frightened now. “I've s-said the wrong thing. I-Im so sorry..’ she dropped to her knees and begged her for forgiveness, much like she would as a child in the Chantry. Begging for forgiveness, begging for the Maker to take this... “gift” from her. Begging for her twin. 

She stood up from the bed and sat on her knees in front of the pleading elf, one hand on her shoulder and the other gently lifting her face up with a reassuring smile. “Hush now,” she whispered softly. She spoke in the same voice she used when she would reassure the younger apprentices in the Circle. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“You're in Haven my Lady. They said you closed the Breach and saved us,” she said looking up at her. “It's all anyones talked about for three days!”  _ Ive been unconscious for three days? _ The woman nodded and glanced around, noticing the furs on the wall, ram by the looks of it. “Guess this means there will be a trial after all.”

“I wouldn't know anything about that.” The womans face lit up with new fear and quickly stood up, backing towards the door. “Lady Cassandra will want to know you're awake. At once she said!” Melody frowned at the elfs fear.  _ Surely she wouldn't have threatened the poor girl.  _ “Where is she at currently?” 

“The Chantry with the Grand Chancellor. At once she said!” Without another word, the elf ran out of the cabin. 

“With the Grand Chancellor huh? Val Royeaux here we come,” she said through gritted teeth. She looked around and found in the dropped box a change of clothes. She didn't smell  _ bad _ but it wasn't a good smell either. She saw a bowl and a pitcher with water sitting on the far stand and she made her way towards it. If she was getting arrested today, she would at least go smelling clean. She poured the water into the basin and with a quick glance around and listening to make sure no one would be coming in, she dipped her hand into the water to warm it and start her bath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She made her way up the stairs of the Chantry, pausing outside the doors as two Templars walked past her. She held her breath and closed her eyes, hoping they didn't pick up on her. They eyed her curiously but never made a move towards her. She closed her eyes and pushed open the doors to the Chantry, making her way straight to the back of the place.

_ The Herald of Andraste.  _ That's what the townsfolk were calling her. What would her father say now? As a child, she was extremely devout. Her father raised her to be a proud Andrastian, as was the way of her family. The last child born were either devoted to the Templars or the Chantry. She knew what her father had planned for her and her sister but of course, things changed. She had been a mage and Evelyn... well she had found her way to the Makers side before anyone knew about her being a mage. Her fathers face, full of shame and heartache when he discovered what his only surviving daughter was, flashed in front of her as she paused outside the door to the Mothers Office. She could hear a man and woman arguing, presumably Cassandra and someone since they referred to her as Seeker. She shoved it down and pushed the door open.

Two Templars stood just inside the door as she walked in and she forced herself to remain calm.  _ Don't give them a reason to act out against you.  _ Not that it mattered. Roderick took one look at her and instantly pointed at her, his face full of rage.

“Arrest her! I want her chained and ready for transport to Val Royeaux immediately!”

“Disregard that and leave us,” the Seeker ordered. The man turned to her, bristling with anger.

“You walk a dangerous line, Seeker,” he warned.

“The Breach may be stable, but it is still there and therefore a threat,” she said coolly. “I will not ignore it.”

“I did everything I could. I almost died. And you mean to tell me, I'm still a suspect,” Melody growled at the Chancellor. He narrowed his eyes and met her voice. 

“Yes you are!”

“No she's not”, Cassandra said but it went ignored.

“I almost  _ died _ ,” she nearly yelled at the man. Her temper was flaring and she couldn't help but feel angered by this man. She saved his life and this is the thanks she gets?

“Yet here you stand, spreading your blasphemy before me in the Makers house. I bet your father would be so proud-”

“ _ Do not speak of my father,”  _ she snarled and stepped toward him. She felt the fire build in her stomach, the heat burning through her like wildfire fueled by rage. Cassandra quickly moved between them, her back to the Herald. “The Breach is not the only threat we face.”

“Someone was behind the explosion. SOmeone the Most Holy did not expect. They could of died in the explosion, or they may still live,” an Orlesian voice spoke up from the shadows. She hadn't noticed her standing in the back but hearing her voice calmed her. She didn't carry feelings for her anymore, but she still managed to cool the raging inferno in her body. However that only further enraged the man in front of her.

“ _ I  _ am a suspect?”

“You, and many others,” her voice was dark. She had never heard her sound so angry, even after they dealt with Marjolaine. 

“But  _ not _ the prisoner?”

“We heard the voices. The Divine called to her for help. The Maker sent her to us in our Darkest hour.”

“I doubt I am the Chosen One,” she whispered softly. There's no way He would choose a  _ mage _ to save everyone. They were tools, dangerous ones at that. Nothing more.

“We cannot decide the Makers will, nor whether we wish to follow it,” Cassandra said softly and Melody nodded. Even after everything that had happened, she couldn't turn her back on the Maker. She may not be as devout but she still believed and for now, that would be enough. “Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide,” she whispered softly with her eyes closed. 

“The Breach is still a threat and your mark is the only thing that can stop it,” Leliana said softly, her gaze never leaving the red headed Herald.

“That is not for you to decide!”

Cassandra pulled a thick book out and stared the man down. “Do you know what this is? This is a writ from the Divine, granting us permission to act. I am declaring the Inquisition reborn!. We are stopping the Breach from spreading and we are doing it with or without your approval!”

Melody hadn't noticed how close Cassandra had gotten to the Chancellor, nearly pinning him to the wall. He huffed and turned, striding out of the room.

“We need to find people willing to stand with us against the chaos,” Leliana said slowly. “It won't be easy. We have no leaders, no numbers and now, no Chantry support.”

`

“We have no choice. We must act now.” The gazes turned to the Herald whose gaze never left the thick, dusty book on the table. “Evelyn please, help us fix this before it's too late.”

Melody let out a ragged sigh, slowly easing herself upright as she glanced around. In all the commotion, she had forgotten to mention her lie. Biting her lip, she made the decision to keep it to herself. For now. It couldn't hurt too much. She would be gone after the Breach was sealed anyway. “Here I was expecting a trial, to be killed by dawn tomorrow. Didn't picture this.”

“Neither did we,” Leliana said softly.

She stood up and glanced at the two women. “Well, lets get moving. We have a world to save.”


	9. Chapter 9

Melody woke with a groan, her face tight from crying. They had finished the last performing rites on the last of the fallen form the Temple and Darren had been one of them. She wore a face of neutrality, accepting the groups condolences with a nod. Her heart shattered as she returned to her cabin though, finally breaking down. He was gone and he was never coming back.She had tried to start writing a letter to his parents, informing them what had transpired but she couldn't stop crying long enough to do so.

Another night of broken sleep. She hadn't been using her magic too much so it wasn't necessary that she get a _good_ sleep but she knew she couldn't run for a few hours here and there much longer. She left her cabin and let out a shiver. Even with the fire silently roared in her body, she didn't seem to get warm. Instead, she chose to start walking towards the Chantry, preparing for their first day as the Inquisition. Along the way she ran into Cassandra who gave her a nod and walked alongside her. It was a quiet walk which she was thankful for as she pushed open the Chantry door.

“Does it bother you?”

Melody glanced at the Seeker who motioned at her hand. “It doesn't hurt, and it stopped spreading,” she said softly while looking over her hand. “I just wish I knew what it was, or how I got it.”

“We will find out. You bought us some time when you stabilized the Breach. Solas thinks with more power, we might actually be able to close it. We need a lot. About as much as what we had when the Breach opened, which won't be easy to come by.”

“Oh what harm could there be in powering something that we don't understand,” Melody said with a smirk. “Couldn't possibly make things worse. Cassandra snorted and turned to face her. “Hold onto that sense of humor. It may be the only thing that preserves our minds.”

“I'm assuming you have a plan on how to get the power?

“We do,” the Seeker motioned her to follow her to the back room. Upon entering, she saw Leliana, Cullen and another woman dressed in bright golds and blue, her dark hair pulled neatly into a bun on the back of her head.

“This is Lady Evelyn Trevelyan,” the woman said slowly. Lelianas eyes watched her closely and Cullens' eyes briefly fell to the ground before looking up to meet her lilac one.

“You've met Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisitions forces,” Cassandra said as she started introductions. She nodded her head towards him, refusing to let her mask drop as her heart raced. His accusations in the Circle then his attack in Kirkwall were still fresh in her mind and she found herself taking a deep breath to steady herself. 

“It was only for a moment, in battle. I believe I heard an arrow pierce a demon who was creeping on my backside,” he said slowly with a smirk, _his_ smirk that always brought her to her knees. Her face burned and she quickly looked down. “A pleasure, my Lady. I am pleased you survived.”

“Yes well, perhaps you will watch you back then. I won't always be around to save you,” she said slowly, refusing to meet his amber gaze. _Keep him at a distance. Don't get close._ His smirk fell and his face went unreadable for a moment before nodding. 

“This is Lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat,” Cassandra continued, eying the two. Josephine let off a curtsy with a smile. “I have heard alot about you and your family. It's a pleasure, Lady Trevelyan.”

“And you've already met Sister Leliana, our spymaster.”

“Yes... Tactfully put Cassandra,” Leliana started and glanced at the woman in front of her. “I have to say, my Lady, I was under the impression you were dead,” she said slowly, her blue eyes piercing into Melodys. She held her breath and nodded. “Yes when my sister was sent to the Circle, my parents thought it best that she believed I was dead. That was she... she wouldn't try to escape and return home,” she whispered softly, refusing to meet the eyes of the group. 

“Your sister and I, we were quite close,” the redhead said coolly. Cullen glanced towards the spy with raised eyebrows but didn't show anything. Melody lifted her head to look at her. “She told me her father paid off the Ostwick Templars to have her placed in the Ferelden Circle so that she may be forgotten, removed from the family's history.”

“I... That is true,” Melody said quickly. “My father was disgraced that a _mage_ was within our home and wanted to keep it... _clean,_ ” she said firmly, trying to hide the disgust in her voice. Leliana watched her for a moment longer, her face unreadable. 

“Have you had contact with her?”

“Not... not lately. We reunited after the Battle of Denerim and wrote every so often. Last I heard she was in Kirkwall getting ready to flee after she was nearly killed by Templars,” she said firmly with a glance towards the Commander. While his face stood firm, his eyes wavered with... guilt? 

She was growing tired of the prodding and she knew she needed to change the topic before she broke. It was lie after lie and she was growing tired now. “Cassandra tells me you have a plan?”

“I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good,” Cassandra started. 

“Which means we must approach the rebel mages for help,” Leliana spoke up. 

“And I still disagree. The Templars could serve just as well,” Cullen pushed. _Of course you would, she_ wanted to say but she bit her tongue.

“We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark–”

“Might destroy us all. Templars could suppress the breach, weaken it so–”

“Pure speculation.”

“ _I_ was a Templar. I know what they’re capable of.”

“ _Enough,_ ” Melody growled. She glanced around the table and sighed. “We are siding with the mages. Where are they?”

“Herald you can't be-”

“Commander, I will not be asking the Templars for help,” she said smoothly. Her eyes never left his as she leaned onto the table.

“I remember watching the Templars drag my sister away as she begged not to go,” she spoke in a low growl trying to control her temper. “My sister told me how a _Templar_ who she once trusted with her whole heart, threatened to kill her and called her a demon, forcing her to be removed from the Circle where she had once felt safe. She wrote me telling me that the very same Templar attempted to run her through in broad daylight a few years later. Thankfully her friends were able to defend her from the _monster,”_ she sneered. _Make him hate you, don't let him in._ “If I had been there, he would of been put down like the dog that he is.” He looked at her in disbelief, his mouth opening to say something but instantly shutting. She sat up and looked at the others around them, all of them looking at her with shock. She let a low exhale and glanced at the spymaster, who actually looked shocked herself. “Where are the mages at now so I can speak to them?”

“Well n-none of them will speak to us right now,” the ambassador stuttered out before clearing her throat and standing straight. She hadn't meant to scare the poor girl. “That is to say, no yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition- and more specifically, you.”

“Oh lucky me. That didn't take long at all.”

“Shouldn't they be arguing who the next Divine will be,” she heard Cullen mutter but she didn't turn to acknowledge him. 

“I'm sure you've heard by now, the people are calling you _Herald of Andraste_ and that frightens the Chantry. Clerics are claiming blasphemy and we are heretics for harboring you.”

“A Trevelyn being called blasphemous. Imagine that,” she giggled to herself before returning to her neutral face. “It's quite the title, how do you feel about it,” Cullen asked cautiously, trying to avoid another blow up.

“If it gives the people hope, let them keep it. I don't mind. I've been called worse.” _What would they do if they knew their Herald was a mage?_ “Could they attack us? If this could cause a Holy War...”

Cullen snorted. “With what? Their words?”

“They could very well bury us with them,” Josephine added, her Antivan accent reminding her of her Crow best friend. “So what can we do? If the Chantry has turned everyone against us, how will we gain allies?”

Leliana smiled and stepped forward. “There is a Chantry mother who does not share their feelings, in the Hinterlands. She has asked to speak to you. She knows those involved far better than I. It would be worth it to see what she has to say?”

“Are we sure it's not a trap? It would be a shame to survive this long just to get arrested,” Melody groaned out, running her hands through her hair. 

“From what I've heard, she is a kind soul who doesn't resort to violence. You will find her tending to the wounded.”

Cullen stepped forward and told her to look for ways to gain the Inquisitions hold in the area, as well as any recruits. She nodded and looked at the map. “I will head out in two days. I will need to prepare and I would like to speak to our citizens.” 

“Of course, Herald.”

“Oh and please. Call me Evelyn?” Cassandra said everyone was dismissed and she wasted no time rushing out, deciding she needed a nap. The meeting took a lot out of her and she didn't want to look at _his_ face any longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Something isn't right,” Leliana said as she watched the Herald walk away. They all stood around the table still, Josephine writing something down and Cassandra fiddling with a corner of the map. “A lot of her story didn't add up.”

“I agree,” said Cullen. He had felt the fury behind her words earlier, each one spat as the one who had been hurt, not a protective sister. “She knew a lot of what happened in Kirkwall with her sister.”

“Was there any truth in it? Was her sister nearly killed?” Cassandra asked him, standing up and crossing her arms like a mother berating a child.

He froze and lowered his head. “I... Yes. There was an incident in the square. A- a moment of lapsed judgement.” He felt the guilt eating his stomach, just as it did that day.

Leliana shook her head. “Her sister died two years before she was sent to the Circle. That. That is not Evelyn Trevelyan. Melody was sure she was dead.”

“And just how close were you to her?”

The spymaster looked at the Commander and smiled sweetly. “Just as close as you were, my dear Commander.” His face burned bright red and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Regardless of who she is, we need her.” Cassandra looked between the two and glared. “I don't care who she is. She has agreed to help us. Do _not_ betray her trust and lose our only way to seal the Breach.” She turned and left the room, banging the door open as she left. 

“She has Lady Emmalines eyes,” Josephine stated and looked at the spymaster. “So it could be someone from that side of the family? I could write them? Ask if they had sent anyone to The Conclave?”

The redhead just shook her head. “No lets not show our hand yet. I would like to see how this plays out. As Cassandra said, she is our only way to close the Breach.” The ambassador nodded and made her exit, leaving the commander and spymaster the only ones left behind.

“Leliana...”

“Don't Cullen. She hurt a lot after the Circle. She felt betrayed by the man she had given herself to and the man who swore to protect her. She had _nightmares_ every night, just as you do. Yes I know you still do. There is no secret from me. I was there. I comforted her. Feelings developed. She left. Feelings faded. In the end, before she left, she knew you were not okay. She had forgiven you. She still loved you.” She placed a slender hand on his shoulder. “Whoever this person is, she knows Melody personally as well. Maybe even more than either of us,” she said with a small smile. “Whatever transpired in Kirkwall...”

He shook his head and sighed. “I regret it everyday. I nearly killed her Leli... I saw her and I just... snapped. Hawke and Varric tried to stop me but...”. His heart thudded loudly in his chest as he remembered her face, full of fear as he swung his sword. 

_The tip had connected to flesh, creating a deep cut down her chest. He had meant to kill her but Hawke shoved her back before the blade could hack through her. The blood flowed as she staggered backward, Anders catching her as blue lightning sparked around him._

_“Get them out of here,” Hawke commanded Merrill as she and Varric stood between the Templar and his prey. The elf tried to drag the mages away but Anders refused to move. “You will not harm another mage,” he roared and got ready to attack the man but a hand caught his arm._

_“Justice no,” Melody whispered, blood soaking her front. Her eyes were filled with sorrow as she looked at her attacker then leaned over and kissed the mage. She knew the spirit wouldn't harm her and sure enough, he calmed back down and only Anders remained. “Mel...”_

_“Lets go,” she whispered as she began to fall forward, the blood lost catching up to her. Cullen watched as the man carried her towards Lowtown, whispering in her ear. He let out a sigh as Hawke shoved him back. “You lay another finger on her, I will no hesitate to put an arrow in your fucking throat,” the normally soft spoken rogue snarled. Her hand rested on the dagger she kept on her hip as she stared into his eyes, her own amber pools burning with rage. Varric touched her arm and together they turned, stalking off towards her uncles home to check on their friend, leaving the man to stare after them._

Leliana squeezed his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. "I am sure whatever happened, you can move passed it." She slid passed him to leave but paused at the door to look back . “Get some rest Cullen. You look exhausted,” she whispered and then left the room, the man once again left alone to deal with his own thoughts.


	10. Chapter 10

“Hey kid, got a minute,” Varric called as Melody got ready to pass him. She had been dreading talking to him, avoiding him even. She knew how close she came to slipping up in the War Room yesterday and didn't want to risk it again here. Yet she still paused and looked at him. “Yes Varric?” He motioned out the gate and started walking, the woman hot on his trail. 

“How are you holding up?” He asked as they passed the training recruits, the commander nodding at them with a curious look. She shrugged and looked at Varric. 

“I went from a prisoner to a beacon of hope in under a week. I'm a little shaken if I'm not lying,” she said as they strode away from the safety of Havens walls. 

“And what about seeing Curly,” he said slyly and turned to face her with a frown. She stopped and looked down at him.

“C-Curly? I don't know what you-”

“Cut the crap Songbird, you aren't fooling me.” His voice was firm and almost as if he was chastising a child. Her shoulders sagged and she looked at the ground. “Who else knows?”

“Just Chuckles and I.”

“How long...”

“Since you froze at the sight of him when we were walking to the Temple” he said softly. Her face burned bright red and she couldn't look at him. He let out a sigh and grabbed her hand, gently rubbing her knuckles. “We were worried about you, ya know. You woke up and just... left. Anders wouldn't tell us anything, just said you left him and said it was for the better.”

“Varric I had to. I-I couldn't stay there anymore,” she whispered and lowered herself to the ground, pulling her knees up to her chest. “It's my fault he went off the deep end. Its my fault he blew up the Chantry-”

“No. It's no one's fault but his. He was planning on it long before you left,” he chastised her and forced her to look at him. “He hurt after you left sure. But he showed no anger towards you. He defended you when Hawke threatened to drag you back and ‘punish her for breaking her best friends heart.’”

She knew Hawke would be mad at her. Expected it even. But hearing it hurt. He eyes burned and she buried her face in her knees, fighting the tears.

“Why did you leave Melody? We would have protected you, he wouldn't have hurt you again.”

“I didn't run because of Cullen,” she said slowly. It wasn't a total lie. She just wasn't ready to tell Varric the whole truth. Part of it would do though. “I- I left because I knew I would kill him the next time I saw him,” she whispered. “I knew I would kill the man who I still loved, even after everything he did to me. Even Anders knew I still loved him when I stopped Justice. It was just childs love but still. I knew the feeling was still there and if I killed him, it would mean admitting it. He still had to be good. I had hoped... there was still some of the old Cullen in there. That he could redeem himself.” _Looks like I was right._

She let out a sigh and looked up at the sky. It was a pale blue, and birds tweeted around her as happy as can be. She shook her head and smiled. “Anders gave me the go ahead and told me he would meet me somewhere when the time was right. I believed it too. After I heard... what happened, I knew I wouldn't see him again. Then Darren... He saved me.” She closed her eyes as she remembered her fiance, promising she would never love another as she did him. He completed her. “

“So why did you lie about your name?”

“I am an apostate Varric. I didn't know what would happen if I told them the truth. I was in a relationship with a terrorist mage and the people who knew already tried to hold it against me. Saying I had something to do with it. Maybe I did. I don't know.”

“Chuckles is an apostate and you see him walking free.”

She giggled and shook her head. “I had lied about my name before we ran into you. Guess I spun a story after all.”

Varric chuckled and nodded his head before turning solemn. “Songbird, you need to tell them. Evelyn would want you to.” His gaze held hers and he offered a small smile.

“I will. After we get back from the Hinterlands.” She looked at him and smiled. “Anyway. Enough sad talk. You know the truth, I trust you to keep it secret. Tell me. What is everyone doing now?”

Varric shrugged and sat beside her, telling her about Merrill helping the homeless elves that came after the fighting, Isabelle went back to the Raiders and has a big fancy hat now, Bethany was helping mages from the Circle who were now displaced. She let out a laugh as she heard Aveline was still Guard-Captain. 

“Kirkwall would fall into the sea without her,” she laughed out and he nodded in agreement. It felt good to laugh, it had been so long since she had done so. Her smile slowly fell and she looked at him with pleading eyes. He didn't mention one name. “Varric... What happened to Anders?”

“Songbird I don't think...”

“Please. Varric I need to know.”

“Hawke killed him.”

“Oh.” She felt the blow to her gut. Yes she still loved Cullen when she had been with Anders but it wasn't the same. She loved who Cullen had been. She had been _in love_ with Anders. And she left him. Found another when she learned he wouldn't be coming. Fallen in love again. Just to have him die as well. _Never again._ She lowered her head to her knees again and this time, she let the tears fall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours seemed to pass and by the time she decided to move, her body groaned in protest. She had sent Varric, much to his dismay. While she cried, he held her, smoothing her hair and just letting her cry as he did in Kirkwall when nightmares woke her. It was a comfort, not having to lie to him. To hide behind a wall of emotion. He promised not to tell anyone her secret and squeezed her hand as she stood up.

“I will be along in a short while,” she promised through watery eyes and a weak smile. She just wanted to be along for a bit, to absorb the information. She had cried more, threw some stones that were around her, maybe even napped as she noticed how dark it was getting. It had been daylight earlier, around midday. Now the sun had set well beneath the mountain and the night chill was settling down. 

She started moving towards the direction they had come, igniting a small flame in her hand to keep her from falling. She was almost to the edge of the forest when she tripped over a tree root that had been hidden in the snow. She cried out, the flame disappearing as she struggled to sit upright.

“Makers breath Evelyn are you okay?”

Her heart stuttered as she looked up to see Varric and Cullen running towards her.

“You didn't come back. I was worried,” the dwarf said as he hitched his thumb back at the blonde man behind him holding a torch. “And Curly here insisted on following in case you needed carried.” His smirk showed up as the commander sputtered and reached up to rub his neck. “Ah.. not exactly. If you were injured and couldn't walk and Varric-”

“It's fine Commander,” she groaned as she pushed herself up. She cocked an eyebrow at the shorter blonde man who shrugged and turned back to the man behind him.

“Such a gentleman to help a Lady who has just fallen to her feet,” he taunted which resulted in color flushing to both parties' faces. “I- uh... Makers breath...” Cullen stuttered and jogged over, helping Melody to her feet. Varric smirked and walked off ahead of them. “You kids can find your way back right?” Without an answer, he continued his walk while she dusted the mud and snow off her front.

“Are you alright,” Cullen asked again. She looked up at him and felt her heart thud in her chest. There was barely any space between them. She could smell the sweat from the days work coming off of him but also hints of oakmoss and elderflower. She shook her head to remove the scent and his eyes narrowed. “You're not okay? Do I need to get a healer?”

“Oh! Uh no. I-Im fine. Uh, shall we?” She started walking and let out a hiss of pain, her ankle throbbing. He caught her before she could fall again, offering himself as a crutch as they made their way back to the town.

The silence weighed heavily between them as she teased her ankle every so often, testing if it was sprained or broke. The pain had already started to fade and she found herself able to walk more easily without his help. Finally she sighed.

“Listen Commander-”

“Cullen.”

“What?”

“It's only fair. You asked us to call you Evelyn. If we are just in our company, you may call me Cullen,” he said with a soft smile, guilt piling into her gut. _He deserved to know._

“Cullen. I should apologize. For the War Room yesterday. You-you didn't deserve that,” she said guiltily. He shook his head and paused, gently grasping her arm. “No, no you were right. I know I hurt your sister. In more ways than one. Your outburst wasn't anything I hadn't said to myself,” he said softly. _Tell him. Now. Tell him the truth._ “Melody she... She didn't deserve any of it. I had hoped to... apologize. Somehow. But Hawke told me she fled Kirkwall.” 

They started walking again and she smiled softly. “She told me... she didn't believe you to be evil,” she said softly. “After the Circle. She said she was holding out hope that the old Cullen was still in there.” He remained silent as they walked but she saw his jaw working. _You need to tell him, girl._ They didn't say anything else as they reached the gate. She nodded to him and thanked him for his assistance. As she started to walk away, he stopped her again. “I left the Order. I'm no longer a Templar,” he said with a firm gentleness, not unlike when her brother or father was trying to strike a point. “If... If you hear from your sister, tell her...” He froze as his mouth opened but no words came out. She smiled and patted his hand. 

“I'll make sure to tell her.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not super proud of the beginning of the chapter but its a thing.

They walked through the Hinterlands, slowly and quietly as if treading on water. They hadn't been away from camp for more than 15 minutes before they stumbled upon templars and mages fighting. Melody stayed back, nocking arrow after arrow to provide ranged support with Solas and Varric. That first battle no one came out without damage. Cassandra, a cut across her cheek. Varric had a busted lip from getting a shield to the face, Solas had finished healing his own cuts from an ice shard that came too close to comfort and burst in front of him. Melody was checking over some burns from a fire mage that had managed to sneak up on her. They would scar but she didn't care. There would be more battles for sure and she wasn't going to waste time worrying about her vanity. 

They had met with Mother Giselle and she was travelling back to Haven as they stayed behind, hoping to at least help some of the people here. They had already hunted some rams for the refugees camp and had found some warmer blankets and clothes for them as well. She gave one of her special potions to an elf whose son had left to join a cult. His wife suffered from similar issues as she did and she knew it would hold her over until she returned. 

They made good time to the castle where a woman waited outside, asking if she was truly the Herald. It made her pause for a moment before nodding. “I am,” she said slowly. 

The gates opened after the woman asked her to close the rift that lingered in the back. They made their way to the back of the tower and began wearing down the rift. It wasn't hard, but it left Melody panting, shaking the pain out of her hand and grimacing. 

“Does it still hurt,” Solas asked as he looked it over. She simply shook her head. Which wasn’t a lie. It didn't really. It was more like pinpricks. He nodded and let her have her hand back.

“Come on, lets tell the Speaker we’re done.”

They walked to the statue where she stood and told her the rift was taken care of. 

“I was a fool for doubting you,” she said and promised to help however the Inquisition needed her. Thinking about the refugees at the Crossroads, she smiled. “Help the refugees. The walls here can help protect them from the templars and mages and anything else out there that wishes to harm them. I can have some soldiers come to help defend it from smaller squabbles as well.”

“Yes Herald,” was all she heard before heading to where someone had said Hyndel resided. 

“Hyndal your mother needs your help. She needs the potion you make.” Fear filled his face and he quickly wrote down the ingredients and sent a potion with her. She had started to leave but then paused. “You should go home,” she said softly. “Your parents miss you and what if she were to have an episode while you were gone? She would die before anyone could reach you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night by the fire, the conversation with the elf burned in her mind. Did her own family miss her? She knew her father didn't but did her mother? Noah? Maybe Adam? She shook her head and tried to focus on the reports. She had closed some rifts but not many. They were headed back to Haven in the morning but she still wanted to be thorough. 

Cassandra and Varric had already retired to their tents and Solas had wandered off. She sighed and folded up the final report, one for Cullen and slipped it into her bag.The lead scout, Harding she said her name was, mentioned a horse master who had refused to help the Inquisition due to the fighting. They had visited him and after helping take care of possessed wolves, a rift and marking areas for watchtowers, he _still_ didn't want to help. It took the help from Cassandra to convince him to come to Haven. _Here I thought I wouldn't have anything to tell him._ Leliana and Josephine both had their own reports, a scout for the spymaster and some places of noting for the ambassador. She still had one more thing to do. She pulled out a piece of parchment and with a shaky hand began her letter to her fiances parents.

Her tears flowed freely as she tried to write, staining the paper sometimes and smudging the ink. Soldiers milled around the camp but most had gone to bed, except her the nights watch. The fire crackled and the light was slowly going out as the fire died. 

She wiped her face and looked up at the sky with a heavy sigh. The stars dotted it and occasionally one darted across the sky. She smiled as she remembered their last night together before Haven, where they laid under the stars. She remembered the smell of leather and the sandalwood soap he had used. She remembered how it felt as she lay in his arms, her head resting on his chest with the small black hairs tickling her nose. They had made love that night without knowing it would be the last time.

With a groan she shook her head. The world depended on her. She needed to close the Breach. Then she could go back on the run, maybe to Starkhaven. Rylen had helped protect her after Kirkwall and knew Noah, maybe he would help her again. She folded the note up and entered her tent, curling up under her blanket and prepared for sleep to take her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_She strolled through the grass, the wind gently wiping around her knees. A smile formed as she took off running, free from the struggles of the world around her. The Fade was her safe place for now. She didn't have to hide who she was, not that she could anyway. She laid in the grass and giggled. This was her time._

_“Odd to see you so carefree in such a moment,” a voice called out, her heart dropping in its place. It was a voice she knew well. Of course I can't have a good night._

_Sitting up she saw the chestnut colored mop of hair stride towards her, his Templar armor shining in the false moonlight. “Begone demon, I do not wish to deal with you,” she said in a bored tone._

_“Do you not want me darling,” it cooed, its face full of false hurt._

_“I want my Darren, not some demon wearing his skin,” she said in a low growl. “I know where I am and I know he is gone. Nothing can bring him back.”_

_It chuckled and crouched before her, stroking her cheek. She leaned into the touch, missing the feel of his fingers. While he was a demon, the touch still felt the same. It still made her heart flutter. “Something could bring him back. All you have to do is say yes.”_

_That brought her back. Her eyes shot open and her fist shot forward, connecting with the demons nose. It let out a scream of pain and she rolled away, standing up and forming a ball of fire in her right hand. “Foolish bitch,” it yelled, the voice no longer the smooth molasses of her fiance but instead distorted as its facade faded. “I will have you.”_

_“Lady Trevelyan!” She quickly looked around to see who called for her. The demon took advantage of the distraction and, in its true form now, swiped at her. A claw connected with her right shoulder, leaving a shallow wound in its wake. She yelped in pain, her focus returning and sprayed purple flames at the creature. She quickly ran as the demon cried in pain as it was engulfed in flame, cursing the distraction that had gotten her injured._

_“Evelyn wake up!”_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

She jerked away, breathing heavily. Cassandra stood over her with concern in her dark eyes. _Fuck._ “Bad dream,” she asked softly, her usual badass demeanor breaking. She was already in her armor and her hair looked damp. She wouldn't mind a bath right now herself. Melody nodded and sat up. Her shoulder ached but she dared not to look at it. Wouldn't be the first time she had been injured in the Fade. This time it was just her fault for being distracted. 

The warrior moved away and glanced out the tent. She could see the sun filtering through the opening, meaning she had slept too late. Felt like she had just laid down. “Suns up, we should get moving,” the Herald said quickly. She didn't want to delve into it. Would reveal too much. The other woman nodded and moved to leave the tent but paused. Her mouth opened to say something but she quickly shut her mouth and left. Her chest tickled with slight tightness and she reached for her bag to take her potion before anything. Stop it now before it gets worse.

Slowly she moved her shirt down, she hadn't bothered with night clothes and had almost forgotten to take her armor off. The mark wasn't as deep as she thought it was and didn't bleed too much. Glancing around to make sure no one was around, she quickly healed it. It wasn't her preferred school but she learned enough to fix herself up as long as it wasn't any organ damage. Then she was useless.

 _You need to be more careful, You got way too comfy with that demon_ , the voice in her head reprimanded. Not like she needed it. She knew what had happened. She knew better. And still, she nearly doomed the entire world. With just one damned touch.

The wound puckered and she hissed as it stitched itself together. Hopefully they didn't get into any fights today. Her shoulder needed to heal and rest which couldn't happen if she was constantly using a bow. Satisfied with her work, she quickly put her armor back on. The plan was to return to Haven today and judging by how bright it was outside, she had slept too late. 

Melody pushed back the tent flap, blinking in the sunlight, and yelled for her crew to get ready to head out. She remembered hearing about a rogue Templar camp and rebel mage hideaway the day prior and decided it would be a good idea to take care of that before leaving. One less thing to worry about.


	12. Chapter 12

Cullen didn't sleep that night. Hadn’t slept much any night since walking Evelyn back from the woods. He knew something was off about it, knew she wasn't who she said she was. Yet, he didn't seem to care. She hasn't posed too much of a threat to anyone. The soldiers liked her and seemed to take what she said during the few training sessions she sat in on to heart. Melody didn't talk about her sister much in the Circle when she was there. It always seemed to make her cry. When she did though, it made her smile. _Such a beautiful smile._

He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. He needed to stop thinking about her. She was gone to him. Even if she came back, what would she say to him? Probably what he deserved. He tried to kill her. Twice. He had been so mad when Irving allowed her to leave with Elise and Alistair. He wanted to attack him but Greagoir stepped between them. Ordering him to lay down. _Sleep it off_. Then again at Kirkwall. He saw her walking with Hawke and the Grey Warden apostate healer, her subtle touches on his arm, the soft smile on his lips. Before he knew it, he was advancing on the group with his blade drawn.

_“Knight-Captain, what are you doing,” Hawke yelled as he stalked towards them. His eyes were focused on one person who had shrank back behind the healer, her lilac eyes fearful. Her mouth was whispering something to the healer who wrapped a protective arm around her. His golden eyes watching the Templar closely._

_“I order you to hand over the apostate Hawke,” he demanded. She laughed and looked around. “Other than Merrill, we only have Anders and he's a Grey Warden so good luck touching him,” she sassed. He could smell the alcohol on her so they must have just left The Hanged Man. Or she just drank in the open. He just growled and gripped his sword tighter._

_“You know who I mean,” he snarled and moved toward but Hawke didn't move. Instead she shoved him back. “What's your problem Curly,” she asked firmly. Normally she was soft spoken, sweet. Now? She acted as if she was a cornered mabari, fur bristling and her teeth barred._

_“You are walking with a possessed apostate and I order you to hand her over,” he demanded and started forward again. This time he was met with Varric as well. “Anders go,” she ordered and he nodded, grabbing the girl and starting away. Cullen moved around them to follow. “Hand. Over. The. Girl.”_

_“Who? Songbird? Maker Curly she's no one,” Varric said in an exhausted tone. The Templar shook his head. “She is an escaped possessed mage from the Ferelden Circle and she needs to be put down before the creature turns on you all,” he nearly yelled, his voice reaching levels of hysterics. By now, a crowd began to form to watch._

_“She is not possessed. Anders prove it,” Hawke growled. Her hand rested on her spare dagger. He nodded and held his hand out, scanning her mind as she stood. The lilac orbs never left his burning amber ones. The healer nodded and looked at the Templar. “There is no demon within her,” he said loudly and firmly. Hawke turned back to Cullen and nodded then motioned for everyone to head out. No, she cannot be allowed to leave again._

_“You don't know what she did,” he yelled. “I was there. I saw her kill several Templars. My friends,” he snarled. “She tricked the First Enchanter, The Grey Wardens, Hero of Ferelden and now you. I refuse to be so blinded.” The girl now stood in front of Anders as Hawke and Varric formed a barrier between them. “Mages cannot be treated like people. They are not like you and me. They are weapons. They have the power to light a city on fire in a fit of pique,” he yelled and pushed through the rogues, knocking Hawke to the ground._

_“Cullen...” the girl whimpered and made a step towards him, Anders gripping her wrist as his frown grew. Her eyes were full of disbelief and he could see she was shaking. “You don't truly believe that...”_

_“Do not talk to me demon,” he yelled and swung his sword._

“C-Commander?”

He blinked, realizing he was still in his tent. A scout stood outside his tent, a timid voice calling him. “Commander? Are you there?”

“Uh y-yes,” he said, clearing his throat. He stepped out into the chilly air and the scout jumped back. “Lady Cassandra requests your presence at the War Room. Right away she said. And the Herald sent this to you.” He handed him a folded up piece of parchment. _Commander Cullen_ was so perfectly scrawled on the top. All sides had been folded perfectly as to prevent anyone from peeking. _Not much for envelopes I see_ he thought as he gently broke the seal. 

He waved the scout away and headed towards the Chantry. If Cassandra was back, that meant the Herald had waited until she returned to deliver reports. _If this is how she lets us know what's happening, how are we supposed to send help? I'll have to talk to her._ He let his mind wander as he walked through the Chantry to their little base of operations. Cassandra and the Herald stood with their backs to the door while Leliana and Josephine stood to the left. 

“Glad you could join us Commander,” Melody cooed out, a smirk on her lips. He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “My apologies. I was... distracted.”

“Oh did you have a lady friend last night,” she teased and Cassandra smacked her shoulder. He could feel his face burning as she laughed. “Leave him be Evelyn. Weren't you just telling us about a recruit who you ‘helped’ last night yourself,” Leliana said slyly in which the Herald shrugged with her own playful smile. “What can I say? Girls got needs and he fulfilled them quite well.” The ladies across from him giggled while Cassandra made a sound of disgust. 

“What about it Commander? Have you found anyone to warm your cot for a night? Or did you take a vow of chastity when you became a Templar,” the Herald continued her teasing despite the warrior beside hers glare.

“I… um… no. I’ve taken no such vows. Some do to prove their devotions but... uh i didn't,” he breathed out quickly. His face turned bright red which only made her laugh harder and the other ladies giggle. “Maker’s breath – can we speak of something else? Surely we haven't come here to talk about our personal matters,” he pleaded and looked at Cassandra who had her forehead in her hand.

“Yes lets talk about the true reason we are here,” The Herald cleared her throat and her face got solemn looking at Josephine. “Mother Giselle thinks we should head to Val Royeaux to convince the Chantry that they should support us.

“I think having you address the Chantry would not be a bad idea,” the ambassador said with a grin. She began to scribble something on her notepad. Cullen frowned and turned towards the ambassador.

“You can't be serious,” he growled, his hand gripping his pommel tightly. A dull ache was starting to form in the back of his head and after the Heralds ridiculing, he was starting to become irritable. 

“Mother Giselle isn't wrong. The clerics are only strong so long as they are united. Divided, they are nothing more than gossipers.”

“And we should allow Lady Trevelyan to risk her life,” Leliana asked incredulously. “They are already calling for her to be arrested.”

“Will it even solve anything,” Melody asked with a shrug. “Why waste time going if its going to cause more fighting.”

“I agree. It just allows credence that we care what the Chantry says,” he said, swiping his hand through his hair. 

“Our devout Andrastian Commander saying he doesn't care what the Chantry says? Maker, the world really must be ending,” he heard the Herald say softly with a giggle before uncrossing her arms and leaning on the table. Her blood red hair formed a veil around her face, shielding it from anyones gaze.

“Makers breath Herald. Could you please-”

“I will go with her,” Cassandra spoke up before another argument could ensue between the Commander and Herald. “I don't need a bodyguard Cassandra,” she muttered but smiled softly. The female warrior ignored her and looked to the spymaster. 

“Mother Giselle said she could provide a list of names? Let's use them.”

“Why? This is nothing but a-”

“What choice do we have Leliana? We can't approach anyone for help with the Breach and I would like to get to the rebel mages sometime soon.” The once silent Herald spoke up and looked at the spymaster with pleading lilac eyes. She looked towards the others in the room and sighed. “Gather what influence we can so we know who to talk to in Val Royeaux. I don't want to be _totally_ blind.” 

They called the meeting to an end and all filtered out of the room. Cullen was ready to retire to his tent, he would ask Rylen to perform the evening drills so he could rest. The headache was growing in strength and he didn't want to be out longer than need be. However outside the doors of the Chantry he could hear arguing and sighed. _Makers breath. Can we have one day without a petty squabble?_


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Val Royeaux has alot of fleshy parts I felt needed captured and it ended up with me needing another chapter to do and this 3.1k word fleshy monster thing.

“Your kind killed the Most Holy!”

“Lies- Your kind let her die!”

Melody was already headed out the doors of the Chantry but she saw Cullen between the two men. The glimmer of light grew her eyes as she saw a sword drawn. The scar on her chest ached as she remembered a similar sight nearly 9 years ago. Her heart pounded as she moved to stand beside Cullen, eying the Templar and Mage closely. 

“Knight-Captain!”

“That's not my title anymore! We are no longer Templars! We are all a part of the Inquisition,” the commander growled. 

“And what does that mean exactly?” Melody scowled at the Chancellor as he made his way through the crowd. She crossed her arms and cocked her hip to the left.

“Back already Chancellor,” she called, not leaving out any malice in her voice. “Haven't you done enough here?” Cullen turned towards her to say something but the man spoke up.”I'm curious ‘ _Herald_ ’ how you and your _Inquisition_ plan to restore order, as you've promised.” He smirked and she felt her rage building inside her gut. “I bet you would. After all, you enjoy spreading distrust through our ranks. Seems to be you want us to fail. When your thought should be helping us restore peace,” she nearly yelled. _He's getting under your skin. Control yourself._

“Alright back to work all of you,” Cullen yelled into the crowd and turned towards the Chancellor who now remained. “You aren't helping the templars and mages get along, you're making it worse.”

“They need a _proper_ authority figure to lead them.”

“Who, you? A random cleric who wasn't important enough to be at the Conclave,” the blonde man sneered.

“Your Inquisition and their so-called _Herald of Andraste_? I think not.” Melody closed the space between the Chancellor and herself, staring him down. 

“Why don't you run along now Chancellor? You're the only one who insists we can't work together. We are going to Val Royeaux to gain the Chantrys support and I would _hate_ to have to tell them that the _Grand Chancellor_ refused to help us.” Her voice was dark and she stepped back, holding her head. _Appearances mean everything._ The man stuttered and turned away, yelling about needing Andrastes guidance not some wanderer on the mountain side. Melody sighed and looked at Cullen who was watching her closely.

“Why are we allowing him to stay Commander,” she whined, taking her hands and running them through her hair, slightly ruffling it. She really needed a bath soon.

“He's toothless. No point in kicking him out because he runs his mouth. It would make him a martyr then where would we be,” he sighed sadly and shrugged. “He's a good idea of what to expect in Val Royeaux though.”

“Keeps running it and he might be actually toothless.”

The man chuckled. “As much as I would love to see that, harming him may cause more harm than good.” His smile was refreshing and she found herself doing the same as they began walking towards the training area. _We can just be friends right? That shouldn't be so hard._

“I'll make sure they see reason in Val Royeaux. It's my life on the line.”

“Indeed. I will keep the peace while you appeal to the Chantry,” he said with a nod then rubbed his forehead with a groan. “I'm afraid this is where we part My Lady. I have some things I would like to take care of and I am sure you need to prepare for your trip to Orlais.” She nodded and looked up at him with her head cocked then sighed. “Commander before you go. I do owe you an apology.”

“Whatever for?”

“Busting your balls during the War Room,” she said with an airy laugh. Her lilac eyes shimmered softly and she had a warm smile on her face. “It was not very _professional_ of me.”

“Oh I- uhh... Apology accepted.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and looked back at her. She smirked and waved him on. “Alrighty Cullen. Off you go. Do some work instead of just standing around,” she gently ordered and pulled some elfroot out of her pouch to give him. “Chew a leaf. It'll help with your headache.”

“H-How do you-”

“You were groaning and rubbing your head all through the meeting. You also winced when I yelled at that idiot, showing it's getting worse.” She smiled and tapped her own head. “Now go. Chew a leaf.” Then she turned on her heel to head back to the Chantry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day flew by in a blur. She met with Josephine and dealt with an Orlesian noble. “How was he just going to toss people out after they came here seeking refuge and morning the Divine,” she said, shaking her head after he left. She left there and went to talk to Solas, inquiring about the Fade and shaking similar views. He never mentioned that he knew the truth of her being a mage, which she was thankful for.

She stopped to see Varric, who begged her to stop by the tavern. “You need to relax,” he chuckled and gently shoved her shoulder as she sat by him. “Crawling into the arms of a different man every night will get boring.”

She snorted and shook her head. It was a distraction. Nothing more. No feelings. No strings attached. She didn't have to think. “Good thing I've had a few women too. Keeps things interesting,” she smirked and stood up. “After we return from Val Royeaux, I will. We can play Wicked Grace.”

“Oh come now Herald. I don't want to take all your _hard_ earned money.”

“You say it like I didn't earn it. The people I take from are already dead. They don't need it anymore.”

“Mmhmm. Your uncle taught you well,” he nodded his head upward and went back to writing his letters.

The sun had started to set by this point and she sighed, returning to her cabin to retire. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The trip to Val Royeaux wasn't exactly uneventful. Every night at camp there was some new thing. The first night it was bandits. They were quickly dealt with, not even close to a match. The following night a rift had opened almost on top of them in the middle of the night. That was a struggle. Melodys back ached as she rode her horse, the still healing skin from a Shades beating giving her grief. Varric had his own share of cuts as well but they didn't seem to bother him. The nights after were fairly uneventful though. Minus Cassandra and Varrics slight arguing.

Her dreams still plotted against her though. The nights she shared with the men- and women- in Haven she was fine. Her dreams were empty, she just wandered the Fade and dealt with little baby demons just being assholes. Now that she was alone? Every night seemed like a battle to survive. The demon regularly took the form of her dead fiance. Sometimes it was a pride demon taking the form of her father. She always ended up sore from fighting every night, bruises and cuts were covering her body. She eventually started sleeping away from camp as not to wake Cassandra during the night. Her body was starting to feel the lack of sleep, her limbs grew heavier as the days dragged on. She was ready to reach the city. She could find someone willing to sleep with her there at least. Get a decent amount of sleep.

“Herald are you even listening?”

Her eyes turned towards Cassandra who had her arms crossed. They had arrived at the gates and she didn't even realize it. “Uhh no. Sorry Cassandra. You were saying?”

“I asked if you were prepared. We don't know what to expect and we can't afford any distractions.”

“I'm sorry Seeker. I'm ready now. Lets go.”

They started walking across the bridge, glancing around at the gold statues. She had spent a few years with her uncle here after she fled Kirkwall, learning to be a bard. He had always wanted one of the twins to continue the Trevelyan bard legacy but her father refused. _They have already been promised to the Templars_ he had said. Yet after Evelyn died, they never came. Part of her wanted to believe he was trying to protect her, afraid to lose his only living daughter. _He had no issue sending me to Ferelden to die though._ Her mind returned as she heard Cassandra. A woman turned to look at them before running away with a soft squeak.

“Something tells me they know who we are Seeker,” the dwarf said.

The Seeker scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Your skills of observation never cease to fail me Varric.” Melody paused at the gates as a scout ran up to them, bowing before looking at the red headed woman in front of her.

“The Chantry mother awaits you... so do a great many Templars.”

“There are Templars here?” Melodys breath caught in her throat and she found herself gripping Varrics shoulder. He put a comforting hand on hers and she let out a slow controlled breath. _Leliana was right. This wasn't a good idea._

“People think they will protect them from... From the Inquisition.” 

A laugh bubbled out of her before she could stop it as she looked around in disbelief. “Yes as if _I_ am the fucking threat. Not, you know, the giant fucking hole in the sky or the rifts that are spitting demons. Nope it's me.” She released Varrics shoulder and began pacing, running her hands through her hair and taking deep breaths. Panic gripped her and she felt her muscles tightened. _I should've ran after I woke up. I never should have agreed to this._ Her tightness in her chest was growing rapidly and she felt herself starting to gasp for air. _Not now, not now, not now._ Her hands fumbled with her pouch as she struggled to pull out her potion.

“Easy Songbird. Sit down,” Varric whispered. She hadn't heard him approach and she looked at him with wild eyes. He motioned her down and she sat on her knees. He waved Solas and Cassandra on and turned back to focus on the panicked Herald. The Seeker opened her mouth to argue but Solas gently grabbed her arm and pulled her forward, whispering something to her that caused her to walk faster. 

The dwarf reached into her bag and pulled out her dark blue potion, the liquid shimmering in the light. She quickly grabbed it and pulled the stopper out, drinking it rapidly. The tightness slowly ebbed away and she coughed, feeling her breathing regulate. He watched her cautiously and placed his hands on her shoulder. “Haven't seen an attack that bad since-”

“Don't Varric. Please,” she whispered. He nodded and gave her a smile, gently rubbing her shoulders. She let out another series of coughs and he handed her his waterskin, which she took and sipped some of the water. 

“I blame this damn thing,” she murmured, holding up her hand. She hadn't had any episodes for a long time. Since she had met Darren in Val Royeaux. It was the only thing that changed since. Varric nodded and looked behind him. “Come on kid. We need to catch up. You don't want to seem weak,” he smirked as she stood. Her eyes rolled and she smiled. “Of course not. They will be wanting to exploit it in a moments notice.”

They continued their walk into town, stopping to tell the scout to head back to Haven. “The leaders will want to know if we are... delayed,” she whispered and the scout nodded. _Or dead you know. Can't be saved then._ Catching up to Cassandra and Solas who were listening to the Revered Mother, Melody nodded at the Seeker and they made their way to the front of the group. The woman looked at the Herald and narrowed her eyes.

“You wonder that will happen to our beloved Divines murderer? Well wonder no more!” She pointed to the group in front of her and Melody felt herself growl as she tensed up. “Here she is! The _Herald of Andraste_ , claiming to rise up where our beloved fell!” The crowd around her gasped and murmurs founded around her, like buzzing flies filling her head. 

“We say she is a false prophet! No servant of anything except her own selfish pride!”

“We came here in peace, simply to talk- and this is what you do?” She prided herself in keeping her temper in check. _Modest in Temper, Modest in Temper._ “I implore you. Let's sit down and talk about the real threat! Who is, in fact, not me!”

“It's true! The Inquisition only seeks to end this madness before it's too late,” Cassandra chimed in, her voice full of pleading.

“And this is coming from the Right Hand herself,” Melody added with a smirk. The sound of metal footsteps filled her ears as she looked to her right, seeing Templars approach the platform. _Andrastes’ tits, can't we go one day without fighting?_

“It is already too late! The Templars have returned to the Chantry and they will deal with your so-called Inquisition and the people will be safe once more!” The man in front of her walked past her and she reached back for her bow. _I will not be going down without a fight at least._ Instead of advancing towards her though, the soldier behind the lead man punched the Mother. She watched as she fell to her knees. All resolve snapped as she charged forward only to be grabbed by Cassandra and Solas who held her back. “ _How dare you?!_ What's the meaning of this,” she growled out. The fire in her stomach raged as she struggled to keep it down. Last thing she needed was to expose herself to the Templars if they truly weren’t here for her.

“Her claim to “authority” is an insult. Much like your own,” he sneered. Cassandra pulled away from her as the man made his way down the stairs.

“Lord Seeker Lucius! It's imperative that we speak-”

“You will not address me,” he growled and barely turned to face the warrior who had a confused look on her face.

“Lord Seeker?”

He now fully faced her as Templars joined his side. “You created a heretical movement, raising a prophet as Andrastes puppet. You should be ashamed.”

“Lord Seeker I-”

“You should all be ashamed,” he said in a raised voice. “The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages!”

“Lies! You failed the ones who needed to be protected,” Melody retorted, stepping forward. She hadn't noticed when she drew her bow but it sat nestled in her left hand, warmed and ready for a battle.

He laughed darkly. “No it is you who failed them! You who would chain our swords with leashes made from doubt and fear!” He paused as his group rallied around him. “If you've come to appeal to the Chantry it is too late. The only destiny here that demands respect is _mine.”_

Melody shook her head and stepped forward. “Templars! One of your own commands the Inquisitions forces! Join us as he did,” she yelled to the group. Her heart raced as the words fell out faster than she could realize what she was saying. _Did you really ask them to join you? A mage? They would kill you the moment they found out what you were_ the voice growled in her head. She quickly ignored it and glanced around the group.

The Lord Seeker scoffed and looked around. “A loyal member of the Order. So loyal in fact, he abandoned them before for a false Herald. Wonder how long until he turns against you,” he taunted. Her hand gripped her bow and she gritted her teeth. “He would never betray us.” _But he has betrayed you._

A templar had walked up beside the leader with concern on his face. “But Ser, what if she really was sent by the Maker? What if-”

“You are called to a higher purpose. Do not question it,” another soldier growled at him before passing him by. The Lord Seeker continued talking but Melody looked at the dark-skinned templar and smiled. _The seeds of doubt have been planted._

“Templars! Val Royeaux isn't worthy of our protection. We march!” The Lord Seeker turned and they marched out. Melody sighed and turned to Cassandra. “Charming fellow.”

“Has he truly gone mad?”

“I don't know Cassandra but we can't dwell on it. If he is leading the Templars to their death, so be it.” She didn't mean to sound harsh but she wasn't going to chase down people who had no place beside her. Or that she couldn't trust. _Yet you let the Knight-Captain remain._

She approached the Revered Mother and offered to help but was just swatted away. Sighing she looked at her group and nodded towards the gates. As they made their way to leave, an arrow shot down with a note attached, landing just short of Melodys feet. “Lucky shot,” she muttered. After reading the note she looked at her group and shrugged. “Guess we are doing a scavenger hunt.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hunt ended up taking the rest of the day, ending in a new ally with an obsession with _breeches_. Sera, she said her name was. A scrappy looking elf with a keen shot with a bow. Once they finished helping her fight off some noble- she hadn't paid much attention to why but the guards attacked them so she fought back. They had found an inn to stay in, though it was too fancy for her liking. 

After they checked in, they had received an invite from a mage to attend a _salon_ hosted by Madame Vivienne De Fer. She shook her head. She knew the name well from when she stayed with her uncle. _A stuck up pompous mage bitch who takes no shit_ her uncle had said. It wasn't in a negative sense of course. He had spoken in adoration. _I suspect you will be like her one day yourself child._

 _Uncle I couldn't even hope to be like her_ , she had said. If only he could see her now. She may not be stuck up, she never could rise to the levels of other nobles, but she had built a wall for herself. She stood up for herself now. She could protect herself both with and without magic. He had put that into her. 

She sighed and looked at the map. The meeting with the Iron Lady was in a week and they would have to head out in two days to make it in time. That left a couple days to relax in the city. She could try to find her uncle in the meantime. 

She smiled and left her room to head to the bar. She would get some drinks, find a nice body or two to climb into bed with and get some well deserved rest. _This trip was just utter mabari shit in a meadow._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Brief mentions of gore. Nothing super extensive but its there.

Melody slipped out of her room early the next morning. She knew she had too many drinks the night prior and judging by the man in her bed, it did its job. Picked up a man uglier than a darkspawn who couldn't last long enough to even get her aroused. She slipped out of the building and inhaled. The crisp cool morning air filled her lungs and she smiled as she walked through the abandoned marketplace, admiring the blues and gold. Memories of doing this when she first came to her uncle surrounded her. The sun had not yet risen but the sky was getting brighter in anticipation. It was refreshing to be _ alone _ , even if it was for a few minutes. She made her way to the pier and leaned over a wall, smelling the sea air.

“Young lady like you shouldn't be out here alone,” a gruff voice called behind her. She could hear the Free Marcher accent come through the fake Orlesian one and she smirked. “Oh really? And whatever shall a poor defenseless lady do,” she asked with her best  _ damsel-in-distress  _ voice. The man chuckled darkly and reached for her shoulder.

As she felt his hand on her shoulder, she spun around and held her dagger up to the mans throat. The man froze with his eyes wide and she chuckled darkly. “Come now Uncle. You're getting reckless in your old age. Trying to rob an armed woman? One that you trained even?” The man swallowed and smiled, stepping back to put distance between her blade and him. She put it back in its scabbard and crossed her arms.

“Makers breath Melody. When I heard about The Conclave, I thought for sure...” he started and licked his lips. Even behind his mask, his silvery-blue eyes were bright with tears. She sighed and shook her head. Then started back to the building. “Come. We can talk in my room.” 

They started the walk back towards the building. The sky was lighting up, the pinks and oranges of dawn softening the buildings around her. She always loved waking early here. The sky was like a painting, everything seemed...  _ normal. _ Right now, there was no Breach. No rifts spilling demons. No need to save the world. It felt nice. 

They slipped into the inn where people were starting to stir, the kitchen was bustling already and a couple patrons had already made their way to the bar to await breakfast. She didn't see any of her companions yet and smiled. They didn't get to sleep in very often and it was the first  _ bed _ they had in... well a while she was sure. She didn't want to wake them yet.

She led her uncle to the farthest room and opened the door with a soft groan. The man was still passed out, naked in her bed. “Seems like someone had a good night,” her uncle teased and she made a noise of disgust. 

“Oh please. The man was so drunk he couldn't even keep it up for longer than 2 minutes.” She kicked the bed which made the man wake with a start. She hiked her thumb towards the door and glared. The man opened his mouth to say something but saw the man standing behind her and closed it with a glare.

“Can't wait to get another man in your bed hmm Herald,” he sneered which just made her roll her eyes. “Shouldn't expect much from a Free Marcher whore.”

“Come now Marquis. I don't want to have to make a house call on account of you threatening my niece,” Philliam spoke up in perfect Orlesian. “I'm sure your wife would be thrilled to hear you slept with such a blasphemous traitor such as her.” The mans eyes widened and he quickly dressed and gave her a mumbled apology before darting out the door, muttering something in Orlesian she didn't understand.

“Be careful my little inferno. You will make yourself a lot of enemies if you keep up this game,” he warned before removing his mask.

“If he knows what's good for him, he won't say anything. We barely got anywhere before he relieved himself and passed out.” She shrugged and moved to the far table, pouring water in a cup and began making her morning after tea. Her face scrunched up as she took a sip of the bitter drink and glanced at her uncle who just watched her. Finally he sighed and opened his arms, which she wasted no time setting her cup down and running into them. 

He chuckled warmly and tipped her chin up to look at her. “What did you do with your hair,” he muttered as he brushed some loose strands from her face. She sighed and felt her tears burn in her eyes. “Oh Uncle... I was so scared,” she whimpered. Her walls finally crumbled as he held her, her tears falling freely as she sobbed into his shoulder. He gently shushed her, running his hands through her hair to calm her as she hiccuped.

A knock on her door brought her out of her Uncles arms, his blade in his hands as he moved to position himself between her and the door.  _ Just like old times _ .

“Lady Evelyn?” She heard Solas call out. Her uncle raised his eyebrows and she exhaled slowly. She had forgotten he didn't know. She pushed passed him and pulled the door open slightly. “Yes Solas?” Her voice was strong but she knew her face still had tear stains and her face was bright red. His eyes met hers and she looked at her with concern. “Evelyn are you-”

“Was there something you needed Solas?” Her voice was impatient as she tried to hurry him along. 

“The Seeker just wanted to know when we were heading out.”

“We will be leaving tomorrow Solas. I have some... Unfinished business here in town.” He frowned but nodded. Then his face softened. “Should I send Varric-?”

“No! No umm that won't be necessary. Thank you Solas. Will that be all?”

He nodded and she shut the door, a little harder than necessary. She leaned down and exhaled slowly. She could feel his eyes boring into her skull and she slowly turned. “So...?”

“ _ Lady Evelyn,” _ Philliam asked with a soft growl. He's pissed. Rightfully so. She groaned and paced over to her bed, hiding her face in her hands. “I know. I know. I wasn't thinking.”

“ _ Wasn't thinking?!  _ Maker Melody you took on your  _ dead sisters  _ name!” His voice rose and she stood quickly to close the gap, covering his mouth. “Don’t. They don't know.”

“What do you mean they don't know?”

She sighed and hung her head as she walked back to her bed to sit. “Well Varric figured it out. And Solas knew I was a mage which led Varric to tell him. But the others don't. They think I am Evelyn Trevelyan, and my sister Melody has been missing since Kirkwall. Presumed dead.” The words leaving her mouth tasted bitter.

“And what of the Commander?”

“Who?” Her eyes shot up and she froze. Her uncle shook his head and chuckled softly. “Come now Melody. My spy network may not be as extensive as your spymasters- and apparently not as good considering I didn't even know you were here- but I do keep tabs on you ‘til this morning. Have since you left with Darren. By the way, how is the boy? I didn't see him with you.” Her eyes fell to the floor as her heart began to ache again. Her uncle noticed the change and sighed. “Oh Mel...” 

She shook her head and sniffled. “No it's... it's fine. He was killed in the explosion. It... It was fast. At least I think it was.” Her hand wrapped around the vial hanging from her neck, her engagement ring hanging beside it.

“Anyways back to you. You've had people following me?”

“No you in particular. I needed to make sure you were safe. And he was a threat to your safety.”

“Soooo you had the Commander followed?” Her voice was harsher than she expected and she frowned, mainly in response to herself. Her uncle glared and pushed off the wall.

“He nearly killed you! Of course I did! I couldn't be with you all the time and this was the best way I could protect you! Your father-”

“My father?” She found herself yelling, jumping up from the bed. “My father abandoned me. He couldn't bear to send me to Ostwick because Maker forbid a  _ Trevelyan  _ is a mage and tarnishes his good reputation!”

“Melody that's not what-”

“He sent me to Ferelden! I would of never met fucking Cullen if it weren't for him!” She was screaming now, not caring if anyone heard. “I would never of been dragged from the safety of my Circle! I wouldn't be an apostate, running from my life in Kirkwall! He never would of almost killed me there! I would never of been at The Conclave and I wouldn't have this!” She raised her left hand, the mark glowing a soft green. “Peoples lives depend on me! If they die, its  _ my fault _ ! All because  _ Father _ decided his reputation was more important than his daughter.” She was crying again but she didn't care. She was furious. How dare he even insinuate her father cared?

Her uncle didn't say anything just walked over and held her, despite her struggles to get away. “Enough child,” he whispered in her hair as she sobbed in his shoulder for a second time. She didn't care anymore, her head ached from the screaming and she felt her eyes growing heavy. 

Her breathing evened out as she calmed down but she didn't leave his embrace. He wore some fancy Orlesian perfume that smelled like cardamom and woodsy. It was too strong for her taste but it reminded her of her days after fleeing Kirkwall, the nightmares plaguing her. He would sit with her until she dozed back off and would be there if she woke again. She had only been 20 at the time but he treated her as if she was his child.

She felt her uncle lift her in his arms, much like he did back then, and lay her in the bed after she had stilled too long. She rubbed her eyes and yawned which earned her a chuckle. “Sleep my little inferno. I will be here when you wake,” he whispered and kissed her forehead before covering her up. She frowned and glanced up at him. “Who do you have watching Cullen?”

He frowned back and shook his head. “He's no spy but you know him.”

“Who, Uncle?”

“That Templar. From Starkhaven. You told me that he had planned to meet up with him after he sent you here and I figured...”

_ Hmm. I will have to deal with that when we get back,  _ she thought before she let the exhaustion take her, not hearing the rest of her uncles conversation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The loud of a door banging shut woke her from her sleep. Jumping up, she reached for her dagger under her pillow. Nothing but air. A soft chuckle caused her to turn towards the door. Her uncle was putting a tray down at the table. The candelabra on the table had been lit and she glanced outside. The sun had set and she frowned.  _ Did I sleep all day? _

“Yes you did,” she heard her uncle laugh from the other side of the room. She moved to get out of bed, stretching and rubbing her eyes. “Damn it. We needed-”

“Relax. I found Varric and told him that you were spending the day resting,” Philliam said as she walked over to table. Whatever soup he brought up smelled amazing and she grabbed a piece of bread to nibble on. She hadn't eaten breakfast and slept through lunch, which her stomach reminded her of noisily. 

“Uncle...” she started after a couple bites. “You don't need to protect me. You trained me well.” She looked at him warmly and he nodded, not meeting her eyes. He ate his food in silence and she followed suit. 

Once it was gone she sighed and glanced outside at the darkened sky. Clouds had covered the sky and hid the stars and moon. Everything just seemed... darker. She heard her uncle shift and she returned her attention to him. He was gathering up his stuff and she stood quickly. “You're leaving?!”

A chuckle left his throat and he met her eyes. That was answer enough. She hadn’t had a chance to really look at him but she could see the salt and pepper of his stubble coming in, the soft wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. Even his once stark black hair was graying. She ran into his arms and hugged him tightly.

“You certainly have grown up my little inferno,” he whispered and planted a kiss on the top of her head. She met his eyes, willing her tears to stay put as she saw his silver ones sparkling with his own. She’d cried enough for one day.

“Will you write me,” she asked with a pleading tone. He had cared for her as her father once had and she didn't want to lose contact with him again. He smiled warmly and nodded, brushing her hair back. “Of course.” They broke the embrace as he finished gathering his gear, placing his small blade on his wait. He came and placed his hands on her shoulders. His face held a solemn look.

“Melody.”

“Yes?”

“Write your father. Tell him you are alive.”  _ This again?  _ She opened her mouth but he held a finger up to silence her.

“I don't know what you heard after you went to the Circle. Or even after. But you need to write him. I think you have things confused between the two of you. Don't make me have to send him to Haven,” he threatened and she looked down. His finger forced her chin up to look at him. “Promise me.” She gave him a small nod and he gave her a small smile before sliding the mask over his eyes. He gave her another quick hug before leaving with a small salute. 

Her eyes didn't leave the door as she wrapped her arms around herself. His words replayed in her head as she stared. Sighing, she pulled her boots on, grabbed her dagger from the table and headed down to the bar. She needed a drink. Bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was up before dawn again, pacing the empty market. The nightmares were worse that night and she didn't sleep again. This time it was no demons tempting. 

_ She saw her uncle standing before her. He smiled as she ran towards them. Then the sound of  _ _ metal rang out in her ears as her uncles face fell. Melody froze as the gleam of a longsword forced through his stomach. She felt herself screaming as she charged forward. The sword ripped itself out with a spray of blood. The man fell to his knees as she stopped before him, holding him up. She felt his blood soak her front as she tried to stop it. “Run,” he said weakly before his eyes rolled back. She felt herself panic as she glanced up seeing her uncles killer. The blonde man stared down at her, his red and black cape draped over him as his sword and armor dripped with the blood of her family.  _

_ She slowly stood and took an unsteady step backwards, falling on her bottom as he advanced towards her. His amber eyes were dark like whiskey, filled with bloodlust. She found herself frozen as he stood over her. “Die demon,” he snarled as he swung his sword towards her. _

She shook her head to remove the memory and groaned, sitting on a bench and burying her head in her hands. It was enough to send her into an attack just from the shock and fear. She had taken the potion and immediately came outside to escape. People were starting to open their stalls, and she could hear more movement around her. The clouds overhear darkened, threatening to release their tears.

“Excuse me, if I may have a moment of your time?”

Releasing a breath she didn't know she held, she looked up. A lithe form of an elf in royal blue mage robes approached her timidly, her pale green eyes searching around.

“Grand Enchanter Fiona? Is it even safe for you to be here?” Melody was shocked at her voice, being as strong as it was. She had met her a few times when she was in Val Royeaux, visiting the Circle with her uncle.

“I had heard of the gathering and wanted to see the fabled Herald of Andraste for myself,” she said in a soft voice. “I was worried I had been too late.” 

Melody snorted and shook her head. “No, I had some personal business to attend to. We are leaving once my companions awaken.” 

“Oh good just in time then.”

“What do you need, Grand Enchanter?” She tried not to sound mean but the week's activities wore on her and she just wanted to get back, get the mages and leave all this shit behind her.

“If it’s help with the Breach you seek, my people will be of help to you.”

“Your people? You mean the mages? You will offer your help?”  _ That's easier than searching for them. _

“We are willing to discuss it with the Inquisition at least.”  _ Well thanks for getting my hopes up,  _ she thought to herself. “Where shall we discuss this then?” She rose to stand in front of the mage and she nodded to her. 

“Consider this your invitation. Come to Redliffe, we can discuss an alliance there. I'm sure we can come to an agreement that can benefit both sides.” The mage nodded to her and turned to step away. “I hope you will come. Au revoir, My Lady Herald.”

Melody stood there for a moment then ran towards the inn to wake her companions. She had her way out and she was ready to take it.


	15. Chapter 15

The trip to Ghislain Estate took longer than Melody planned. First she learned that, despite her always being awake before the Herald, Cassandra _did not_ like being woke. She had nearly ran Melody through when she burst through her room. After that shock and a stern yelling from the Seeker, she didn't need to wake the other two. Half the inn was awake and grumbling from the commotion. Then they needed to gather supplies that hadn't been grabbed the day prior.

Then half way to the estate the heavens decided to open on them in a torrential downpour. Melody let out a groan and they found a cave a little ways off the road to hole up in until it passed. Of course only just after taking their armor off to dry and starting a fire does a bear decide to make it known that they were in its home. After battling the bear, without armor, they rebuilt the fire and decided to use the bears meat for food. _Can't let it go to waste,_ Melody groaned as she gutted the creature. They could use the pelt too so she didn't want to damage it too much. 

Varric complained in the cave about the bear and hating nature which made her giggle. Poor Solas was dealing with the brunt of it as he tried to heal the claws marks on the dwarf. Eventually they all got settled down, waiting for the rain to end. Which it didn't. It eventually grew too dark for them to even think about moving out so Melody made the decision to just stay until morning. “The rain will stop by morning,” she has said cheerfully.

It didn't. It hadn't even slowed down. She woke with a groan when she still heard it outside. Varric chuckled and stood to stretch, having sat out as night watch. 

“Morning kid,” he said as cheerfully as possible. She rolled her eyes and moved to stand by him in the opening. “How in Makers name are we supposed to make it to Ghislain Estate in this,” she sighed and stared up at the sky. “If we try to trudge through, we would just succeed in making ourselves ill,” she cried and began pacing.

“We may not have a choice Herald,” Cassandra grunted as she stretched. Melody rolled her eyes and just continued pacing. She couldn't afford to get sick. If she got sick then it would affect her breathing. If it affected her breathing she could die. If she died...

No. No, don't think about it. She looked outside and sighed. “Well,” she said slowly. “I guess we better get moving out huh?” _Vivienne had better be damned worth it._

~~~

The rain stopped a few hours after they trudged out from the cave. It didn't mean they weren't drenched though. The mountain did nothing to help warm them. Their clothes stuck to them in the worst ways and she could feel her thighs rubbing together against the fabric, causing a rash. Melody was thankful she had sent a raven to the leaders, informing them of their stop to Ghislain Estate then heading to Redcliffe to meet with the mages. She was certain they would be worried. _Probably thinking I offed everyone and ran away,_ she thought and smirked. She allowed her the fire in her belly to roar a little to warm her. 

“Won't you be a sight for the First Enchanter,” Varric called as they approached the estate. There were people bustling around outside and some stalls. “Guys we can't go in there looking like this,” Melody said and stopped motioning to the people who looked like drowned rats. Cassandra sighed and looked up at the sky. “Well _we_ can't go in anyway. The invite is for you alone.”

“W-Wait you guys aren't coming with me,” she squeaked out. Varric shook his head. “Nope the invite is for you and you alone.”

Her heart thudded as she looked towards the doors of the estate, feeling her face lose its color. “Guys I can't go in there.”

“Why not? You're the one who said we needed to go.”

“Yeah but I... I cant talk to her alone. I- Ill freeze up, start stuttering, we won't get the alliance-”

“You don't get a choice Evelyn. You dragged us here to get her. She can meet you how you are or not at all,” Cassandra snapped. She knew she was just annoyed from being soaked to the bone but the words hurt nonetheless. The Herald froze and she felt her face grow red. She turned towards the door and quickly walked towards it. She barely heard Varrics reprimanding the Seeker over the roar of blood in her ears.

She pushed open the door rougher than planned and strode in, her head held high. _Don't let them see your fear_ , the voice reminded. It had been quiet for a few days but was back with a vengeance. A man to her left opened his scroll as she looked around at the growing amount of faces staring at her. _Mother would be ashamed of me, showing up at a salon looking like this_ she remarked silently.

“Lady Evelyn Trevelyan of Ostwick, on behalf of the Inquisition.” The mans voice rang out and now every set of eyes were on her, whispers filling the room that had gone silent upon her arrival. She walked forward and a man turned to face her. 

“What a pleasure to meet you My Lady. Seeing the same faces at every event becomes so tiresome.” The man gave her a bow and gently took her hand in his, his lips brushing against her knuckles lightly. She smiled politely and gave him a slight curtsy, her heart pounding. She prayed to the Maker she didn't have to talk. “Are you here as a guest of Madame De Fer or perhaps Duke Bastien?” 

Before she could speak the woman beside him spoke. “Are you here on business? I have heard the most curious tales about you and I cannot hardly imagine half of them are true.”

“Everything you heard? Completely true,” she managed out, holding her breath. She didn't know what she heard but hopefully nothing bad? She would need to talk to Josephine about learning The Game. She should have paid closer attention to her mothers lessons.

“Better and better. The Inquisition should attend more of these parties,” the woman cooed and she found herself starting to relax.

“The Inquisition? What a load of pig shit,” a man spat and Melody felt herself tense up once again. She recognized the voice as the man she slept with in Val Royeaux. _Okay I think I can work with this._ The man finished walking down the stairs and rounded to face her. “A bunch of washed up sisters and crazed Seekers? No one can take them seriously.” 

“Well hello to you as well Marquis. Following me around are you,” she said sweetly and watched as the man walked around her, continuing his monologue. “It's nothing more than a bunch of political outcasts trying to grab power.”

“We are working to restore peace and order throughout Thedas. Which is more than can be said for the Chantry,” she said through gritted teeth. She allowed the fire in her belly to roar a little, warming her up and loosening her limbs in case of a battle.“An outsider, restoring peace with an army,” he sneered.

“And what have you done to help the state of things, beside sleeping with women outside your wife?” The room gasped as the man sputtered and advanced towards her. “Watch your tongue, Marcher whore!”

“Aww what's wrong? Afraid for people to know how poorly you perform in bed,” she teased and began circling him, her hips swaying. “Why, you couldn't even keep it up long enough to please me, _The Herald of Andraste_ ,” she called out. A few giggles spread throughout the room and the whispers grew. The man growled angrily and reached for his weapon. _Good. Get angry. I can deal with angry._

_You idiot, you just implemented yourself in the affair._

_Ah well. We will deal with that later._

“We know what your _Inquisition_ truly is. If you were a woman of honor, you'd step outside and answer the charges.” 

“Why don't we answer them right here,” she growled and pulled out her bow. She had gotten quite good at close quarter combat with her bow and was excited for another chance to practice. The man roared and began to move before being frozen in place. _What the f-_

“My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my house... to my guest,” a cool voice called out. Melody felt herself slowly relax as she stood upright, refusing to put her bow away. “You know such rudeness is... intolerable.” The tone of her voice was not unlike Melodys had been a few moments prior yet... it sounded darker. It held more threats than she could ever hold. 

“M-Madame Vivienne, I humbly beg your pardon,” he stuttered out and Melody felt herself smirking at the man. _Ahh so this must be Lady Vivienne._ The slender woman turned and faced the man, shaking her head like a mother disappointed in her child.

“You should. Whatever am I going to do with you my dear?”

The woman then turned to face her and Melody feared for a second she might be next. “My dear, you are the wounded party in this unfortunate affair. What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?” _Come on Melody, time to show off your leadership skills,_

“The-” her voice squeaked and she turned bright red before coughing. _Nope blew it already._ “The Marquis doesn't interest me. Do with him what you will,” she offered firmly. Vivienne nodded and proceeded to unfreeze him, throwing more insults at him that must have hit him low because he refused to look at her in the eye, then sending him off with regards to his aunt. Then her attention turned to her with a slight smile.

“I'm so glad you could attend our little gathering. I've been so hoping to meet you,” she cooed.

“W-Well I'm glad to be able to attend F-First E-Enchanter,” Melody stuttered out and felt herself grow red. This earned a small chuckle from the lady. 

“Oh how cute you are,” she murmured and motioned her to follow. _Well either we are going somewhere more private or she's about to kill me._

_Now why would she do that?_

_I don't know! I did just try to fight the Marquis at her party?_

They walked in silence for a bit before stopping outside an open window. The moonlight filtered in, creating a soft circle of light where they stood. _Wouldn't be that hard to just push me out, claim I fell..._

_Oh would you stop that?_

The dark-skinned woman turned to face her. “Allow me to _formally_ introduce myself. I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the Imperial Court.”

“Charmed, Lady Vivienne,” she said in a small voice and gave her a small bow. She smiled and glanced back outside. 

“Ah but I didn't invite you to the chateau for pleasantries. With Divine Justinia dead, the Chantry is in shambles.”

_Yeah no shit._

_Quiet._

_“_ Only the Inquisition can restore sanity and order to our frightened people.” Melody nodded and sat on the window sill, listening intently. 

_See? She could very easily just push me out, end me right now. Goodbye Herald._

_I swear to the Maker girl if you don't knock it off..._

“...It only right I lend my assistance to your cause.” She blinked as she turned back to the woman talking. _Shit._ She opened her mouth but no words came out. She coughed a few times which earned her a look from the woman before clearing her throat. “W-Well then welcome aboard. We are lucky to have you,” she said gruffly while clearing her throat. The woman blinked once at the flustered girl in front of her before smiling. “Great things are beginning my dear. I can promise you that.” She looked the Herald over once more before smirking. “Now let's get you cleaned up. You look positively dreadful.”

~~~

Cullen paced through the Chantry with Leliana and Josephine. The raven with The Heralds note had arrived a few hours earlier and they were just now meeting. 

“My scouts say the meeting did not go so smoothly as the Herald put in her letter,” Leliana said smoothly as they made their way to the War Room. “Apparently upon finding out the Templars were present, she had what Varric called an ‘episode’. Apparently she gets into fits where she has trouble breathing and panic only aggravates it and makes it worse.” Leliana toyed with a piece on the map, her eyes not looking up. “She reports Varric gave her a ‘blue potion’ which seemed to calm her down almost immediately.” 

“Lyrium,” Cullen asked. Was she a Templar Hunter going through withdrawals? No. She hated Templars too much to be one. The spymaster shook her head and frowned. “No it was dark blue. And shimmered. My scout reports it was almost purple.” He let out a hum and glanced around. Either way, if it was an addiction it could be used against her. “Do we have anything new on who she might be? I don't want to be caught blind sided if she turns on us.”

Leliana chuckled and leaned on the table. “Unfortunately no. Though she seems very close to Varric. They apparently left camp together before she left for Val Royeaux and he came back alone. There are several hours where she was unaccounted for. Even my scouts couldn't find her.”

“I remember because I went with him to find her,” Cullen said. He remembered seeing them leave together but had been in his tent resting when Varric returned. He assumed they came back together until the dwarf said he was going to look for her.

“Perhaps he knows what's going on then,” Josephine piped up. “When I inquired about her family, she said Melody was likely dead. She said she would write after she left Kirkwall but one day they stopped. Apparently, her sister didn't even know how to defend herself, saying she knew her bare minimum fire school spells and could do some training.” Cullen felt his stomach drop like a ton of lead and he glanced towards Leliana who just stared at the map. _She would of been made Tranquil if Irving hadn't pushed for her Harrowing, saying she could do it_ he remembered. He had over heard Greagior and Irving arguing about it one night. His hand tightened on his pommel. If she died after Kirkwall, he would be just as much at fault as he would be if he ran her through.

“It's possible. But I doubt he's going to just tell us,” Cullen said with a sigh. That man was harder to crack than a nut. 

Leliana nodded then looked to Josephine. “Write to the Bann of Ostwick. Inquire about his daughters and ask him if he would grace us with his presence.” Josephine nodded and wrote something down with a smile. “He's the Former Knight-Commander of the Ostwick Circle, if I remember right. I'll tell him it'll boost morale.” She seemed rather chipper about the whole ordeal.

“Now onto the meeting. The Heralds report said the Templars assaulted a chantry mother and publicly left the Chantry. It's a shame they've abandoned their senses as well as the Capital.” Cullen wanted to move on with the meeting. He had reports to review and he could feel the start of a headache coming on.

“It was a risk worth taking. Even if the Herald nearly caused a political situation,” Josephine said with a smirk. Leliana even giggled which only made Cullen more confused. “What did she do?”

“Rumor has it apparently she got drunk, took a marquis to bed only to throw him out before daylight and bring another more _handsome_ man in,” Josephine cooed and Leliana giggled more.

“The poor man was hardly dressed and was cursing up a storm about the ‘Marcher whore,’” Leliana said with a smirk.

“Makers breath. Surely she has more important things than bed every man that she sees,” Cullen said with an exasperated sigh. Leliana frowned at him and crossed her arms. “Yes apparently she was heard arguing with the man she took to her room. No one quite caught what it was about but my scouts heard snippets of something about her father and the Ferelden Circle.” 

Cullen felt his heart drop at the mention of the Circle. “So it was a member of the family? Why couldn't your scout eavesdrop,” Cullen said, finally letting his irritation take hold. No one seemed to figure out who this woman really was except Varric, and he wasn't about to try and touch him. If she knew about the Ferelden Circle, she may try to hold that against him. _I need to know who she is. And fast._

“Because her little friend sat outside the door and threatened my scouts,” she said coldly. _Varric threatening? Just who was this woman?_

“Anyways,” Josephine said as she rapped on the table. “We have our opening to speak with either group. The Herald said she talked to a Grand Enchanter who invited her to Redcliffe to discuss their alliances. She has made plans to go straight there after meeting with Lady Vivienne.”

“I still think the Templars-”

“Commander. She isn't going to listen to you. She has made it clear that she is going to side with the mages,” Leliana said firmly. “Besides we don't know where he has taken the Order. All my reports have been... very odd.”

“We must at least look into it. I'm sure not everyone will support the Lord Seeker. Can you send anyone to at least look into it,” Cullen all but pleaded with the spy. She sighed and closed her eyes. “I will look into it. I cannot promise anything else.”

“Thank you, Sister.”

She nodded. “I also have another possible ally that I'm going to write the Herald about. He's a Grey Warden and considering all the Wardens have disappeared- with the exception of King Alistair-, I'd like to bring him in. Perhaps he can give us possible knowledge about where they've gone.” After getting the approval of the other two, she marked the camp that the note would be sent to for the Herald and they all walked out the door. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck as he walked out of the Chantry and into the night sky. It had dumped snow the few days prior so the ground was still covered with the fresh frozen fluff. 

He had started to walk towards his tent before he paused. He turned on his heel and paced back into the Chantry. He turned into the Chapel and lit a candle before falling to one knee, tears burning in his eyes. “Maker please. Return her to me. Give me a sign that she does live, that I can fix this,” he whimpered out and took a shaky breath. 

“The Light shall lead her safely,

Through the paths of this world, and into the next.

For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water.” He felt the tears slip past his cheeks and he paused to breathe again before continuing. 

“As the moth sees light and goes toward flame-"

"She should see fire and go towards Light.” He hesitated as the smell of vanilla wafted around him and a soft Orlesian voice continued beside him. He glanced as the red headed woman who nodded and closed her eyes. 

“The Veil holds no uncertainty for her,

"And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker

"Shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword.” He sighed and wiped his face, feeling his ears burn. Leliana placed a hand on his back and her head on his shoulder.

“She is a smart girl Cullen. You know it and I know it. She fought quite well when she traveled with Elise and Alistair. I taught her to use a bow and Alistair and Elsie taught her how to wield a sword and shield. Even if she was the worst mage ever, she had the means to protect herself.” He didn't say anything just nodded. She patted his back and left him alone. He stayed in his prayer position for a few more moments before rising. Even if Melody was dead, he would dedicate his life to protect Evelyn. He owed Melody that much.


	16. Chapter 16

“Oh thank the Maker! I never thought I would miss our scouts,” Melody exclaimed as she charged towards the Inquisition camp. She missed Ferelden oddly. She had sent Vivienne back to Haven ahead of her to get settled. She had grown quite happy with her little group and wasn't quite ready to separate with them yet. 

Upon entering the camp, Harding stopped her with a smile. “Sister Leliana said you might be coming this way Herald,” she chirped and handed her an envelope. “This is from her. For your eyes.”

Melody nodded and patted the scouts shoulder. “Thank you Harding. I appreciate it.” She wandered off to a rock while her group trailed

“Hmm,” she mused and ran her hand through her hair. 

“Something wrong Evelyn,” Solas asked with a curious look. She shook her head then paused. 

“Yes? No? I'm not sure. Leliana says the Wardens have disappeared. As in, no one can find them. Aside from our King obviously.” She frowned at the paper. Rumors were not quiet that Elise had disappeared as well. “She says there is a Grey Warden here in the Hinterlands though. Perhaps we should go find him?”

Varric shrugged and Solas remained silent. Sighing the Herald looked at Cassandra. “Well what do you think?”

“I think having another ally may be handy. Though it will delay us going to Redcliffe,” the Seeker said and crossed her arms. “I still think we should go for the Templars.”

“Not this again Cassandra. I told you-”

“I know. We needed the rebel mages. I'm just saying the Templars could be just as helpful.”

“I'm not getting into this again. We are siding with the rebel mages. That is final. It is  _ my _ decision and mine alone.”

“What gives you the right to make decisions without consulting anyone?” Cassandra was angry now and Melody met her, shoving her marked hand in her face. “This damn thing! That thing in the sky! You all that put me in charge of gathering allies to close the Maker damned thing!” She was yelling now and she instantly reeled it back with a deep breath. “Im sorry Cassandra. Just... trust me. Please.”

The Seeker nodded then stepped back. “You didn't ask for this. I should remember that.”

Melody nodded and glanced around. The Warden was up by the lake according to the scouts. She motioned for her group to gather and she smiled. “Okay so we are looking for a Warden by the name of Blackwall.” As she informed the group of the plan to find him, she felt her heart race. She had not traveled with a Grey Warden since Alistair and Elise. Not that there had been a lot of chances to.

As they headed off towards the lake, she thought back about her time with them. Elise had been stern, almost to the point that she was mean, but Alistair was more gentle. The night they saved her from the Circle, she had been exceptionally harsh. 

_ Upon leaving, the Warden shoved a glass vial at her. Her eyes widened as she realized the dark color. _

_ “Wh-what are you doing,” she whimpered. A light drizzle had started falling around them and thunder rumbled in the distance. “Your phylactery,” she said firmly and thrusted it forward. “I have more important things to do than chase a mage across Thedas. So take it. If you are going to run, then do so without informing us.” Her bright green eyes were hard as she looked down at her. Behind her, the other Warden frowned at his sister-in-arms and shook his head.  _

_ Wynne placed a cloak around her shoulders and looked at the woman. “Warden don't you think you are being a little harsh? She didn't ask to come with us. Irving asked you to bring her. You could have said no.” _

_ “Alright then. Go back inside,” the woman challenged. Instead the still freshly Harrowed mage froze. If she went in, surely Cullen would try to kill her. She shook her head and shrank back behind the older mage. “There. See? She made her choice.” Her green gaze turned back to the mage and tossed her the vial that she caught though only just barely. “I am not a sitter. I have peoples lives depending on me. Come with us or don't.” She walked towards the boat and Alistair shook his head before turning back to Melody. _

_ “She... had a rough night. We all have. You are more than welcome to join us,” he whispered and patted her shoulder before jogging after the other woman, calling her name. Wynne gripped her shoulder. “Look at me child.” She glanced up, her lilac eyes full of tears. “You are not running away. I know you barely passed your Harrowing. I will train you in what I know to defend yourself. After that, you may leave our company.” Her voice was tired, but firm and wise. She swallowed and nodded, gripping the vial in her hand. _

Of course, after that night, Elise warmed right up to her. Melody climbed up the rocky slope beside the waterfall, her companions trailing behind her. “Hey kid wait up,” Varric yelled. “I'm not as long legged as you are.”

“Well get long legged,” she teased and bounded up the rest of the way up to Lake Luthias. She treaded a little further in before glancing around. The lake was beautiful, almost crystal clear. She had to fight the urge to jump in. Noise behind her signaled the rest of the crew had made their way to her. She pointed across the lake to a little fishing shack. “5 silver our Warden is there,” she smirked and looked at Varric with a raised eyebrow. “How do you know he will be there,” Cassandra asked and tried to squint to see any sign of life. 

“Call it a hunch. Varric you in or not?”

“Hmm. What can I say kid? My curiosity is piqued. It doesn't look like anyone has lived here in ages. You're on,” he chuckled and she smiled before they started walking around the lake. She paused to mark a set of rocks with an old Avvar stanza on it before crossing the docks where, sure enough, a man stood teaching a group of... well less than hardy looking men to fight. “I'll get your silvers later,” she whispered to the dwarf who grumbled to himself.

“Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?” She paused before continuing forward. He was teaching the men how to hold a shield which made her smile. 

_ I remember hearing Cullen do the same thing. _

_ Stop thinking about him girl. He is Templar. You are mage. Enemies. _

_ We can be friends. _

The man turned and glared at her, stomping towards you. “You’re not- How do you know my name? Who sent you?!”  _ Okay so much for being friendly.  _

“I'm with the Inquisition and-” The familiar  _ twang _ of a bow string sounded and she turned as the man held up his shield, blocking the arrow from imbedding itself in her skull. “That's it. Help or get out. Were dealing with these idiots first.”

“Excuse me,” she yelled in disgust and pulled out her bow, notching an arrow and letting it fly, finding its mark in a swordsman's throat.  _ How fortunate. Another Elise. _

“Conscripts! Here they come,” the man ignored her and turned to the men before charging with them towards the bandits.

The battle was hard fought but ended as Blackwall shoved his blade upwards into the mans gut, the blood spraying out as he pulled away. She panted and put her bow back as he walked over to the fallen.

“Sorry bastards,” she heard him mutter and then watched as he raised up and turned towards his conscripts. She watched as he spoke to them, releasing them from his service to return their families. She frowned and crossed her arms.  _ Hes releasing them? Why? _

She shook her head and approached the scowling man, willing herself to be calm. “Alright so you're Inquisition. What do you want?”

“Well for starters, I would like an apology for your little show of being a jackass,” she said and cocked her hip to the side. She wouldn't let herself be pushed around by another Warden again. He scoffed and held his arms open. “You brought a battle with you. I was trying to train those men. You could have killed them.”

“ _ I  _ brought?! I was just trying to talk to you,” she yelled incredulously. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. The man shifted on his feet before looking down. “I guess you're right my lady. It's not like you didn't help defend us. I apologize.”

She smirked and nodded her head. “It's alright,” she said in a firm clear voice.  _ Huh. Maybe that talk with Vivienne was good after all. _

“Still doesn't tell me why you're here.”

“Well I'm recruiting for the Inquisition and what better ally to have than a Grey Warden?”

The man froze and glanced around for a second before frowning. “And why should I join you?”

“Well for starters, all the Grey Wardens have disappeared- except you and King Alistair,” she started and started at him. “Oddly convenient that the Divine gets murdered and the Wardens disappear.”

“I don't know where the Wardens went but they didn't kill the Divine. Our goals are political.”

“I'm not saying they did anything. Yet,” she replied coolly. She knew taunting the man probably wasn't the way to go but she was still very annoyed. “Merely stating a coincidence. If you come with us, help us find the Divines killer and the Wardens, it would look good on your Order,” she offered and held her hand out.

“I know my Order had nothing to do with it and if it will prove their innocence, I'll help.” He took her hand and shook it. Her once stony face broke into a wide grin and she giggled. “Well alright then Warden Blackwall. I look forward to having your help.”

~~~ 

After leaving the Warden to gather his things and giving him instructions on how to reach Haven, her little group bounded off towards Redcliffe. Which took hardly anytime since they had killed most everything between here and there.

As they approached the gate, she saw the familiar green glimmer of a rift up ahead, accompanied with the sharp tingle in her palm. She growled and pulled out her bow. Demons popped out almost instantly and she reached back to grab her arrows but frowned at the movement. It felt as if she were swimming through molasses. In fact, it seemed like everything was except the demons. 

A terror demon ran on her and she tried to jump back but stumbled, feeling its claws rake through her arm. She thrusted her arm up and quickly filled the rift with the mysterious magic to stun the creatures. Luckily it popped just before the demon could hit her again. Just like that, time moved normally and they were able to make quick work of the demons. She paused as her arrow found its way into the shade and it faded back into the rift. She pushed her hand forward and quickly sealed it with a firm shake of her hand.

“Anyone else feel weird during that fight,” she asked and looked at the group. Even they looked a little worse for wear. 

“The veil is thinner here, maybe it had something to do with that,” Solas said solemnly.

“Lets meet with Grand Enchanter Fiona, see what she has to say,” Cassandra said and Melody nodded.  _ Lets see what this woman has to say. _

Her heart sung as she wandered around Redcliffe, feeling at peace surrounded by so many mages. It had been a long time since she had been so comfortable and she felt herself breathe more easily. They started walking towards the tavern where she had spent her first night in Redcliffe and glanced towards the pier. “Conner?!”

The boy-well rather man now- glanced towards her with confusion. She ran over and hugged him tightly, though she felt the boy tense under her embrace. She pulled away and blinked before remembering,  _ no one knows your past.  _

“I-I’m Evelyn Trevelyan. You met my sister, Melody during the Fifth Blight,” she said softly. His eyes widened with recognition and he nodded. “Y-yes your sister helped me after...” His voice trailed off. He didn't need to say it.

“What are you doing here Conner,” she asked and held her hands in front of her body. 

“King Alistair thought it was best to send the mages here. Don't know why. He grew up here. Did he think everyone would forget what I did?”

“You were possessed Conner. It was hardly your fault.”

“Wasn't it? I let the demon in.”

“You were a boy...”

“I caused all this death and destruction here. I still see it sometimes when I dream.”

Her heart truly broke for the boy. She had comforted him after the events, staying with him while the Wardens took care of things around town. When it came time to leave, she found herself struggling to go. Wynne eventually had to remind her that he was going to the Circle, where she was no longer welcome.

She put her hands on his shoulders and squeezed. “Stop blaming yourself. It will get you nowhere but more heartache.” He sighed and looked down.  _ At least I tried. _

“Not to rush you kid but we do have a meeting,” Varric murmured and she nodded. She turned to leave but felt a hand grab her wrist. She turned towards Conner who had uncertainty written on his face. “Your sister... Melody... do you think you could write her? Thank her for me,” he asked softly and Melody nodded. Her lilac eyes filled with tears that she struggled to burn off. 

“I think I can do that.”

“Thank you. You... You look like her, ya know? It's the eyes.”

“Yeah. I get that a lot.” She started to walk away but paused. “Conner, where's your Uncle Teagan? I figured he would be here.”

“You didn't know? He rode for Denerim after Grand Enchanter Fiona handed Redcliffe over to the Tevinter magister.”

“The  _ what?!” _

~~~

The meeting went less than pleasantly, the tavern door was left hanging off its hinges since Melody kicked it open. She was hoping it wasn't true. Yet when she walked in, Fiona seemed surprised to see her. Then it turned out she had sold the mages to slavery to Tevinter, which only made the Heralds blood boil. She wanted to reach out and strangle the elf but noise from behind her stopped her. She turned to come face to face with the magister.  _ Magister Gereon Alexius _ was apparently his name.

Then she travelled to the Chantry after a man, who was apparently the magisters son Felix, managed to slip her a note telling her to go there. Of course a rift awaited her and a man named Dorian who she had come to adore in just a few hours after they met. They just clicked and the ended up sharing a bottle of wine at camp on their way back to Haven. Much to Cassandras dismay.

They had all agreed to head back to Haven and inform the leaders what had transpired. Even if she wasn't totally for saving the mages, Melody knew she needed to help them. No one knows deserved to be slaves in Tevinter. As they approached Haven she sent her group off as her eyes locked with the Commander and the man beside him.  _ Rylen.  _ She felt her blood boil all over again and the small voice in the back of her head egg her on as she stalked towards the man. Her vision swam as she began to see red. 

_ Modest in Temper Melody, calm down. _

_ No girl you need this. He betrayed your trust. Just like every Templar you've known. He needs to know your fury. _

“Ah Herald I trust your-” The Commanders words were cut short as her fist connected with his second in commands mouth. His cry of pain was drowned out by outrage as Cullen grabbed him to keep him from falling. “Makers breath Evelyn, what's wrong with you,” he roared. Rylen glared at her, spitting the blood out of his mouth. She ignored the blonde man and pointed towards the Starkhaven Templar. “My cabin. Now,” she growled with clenched fists.

“I'm not going any-” She pulled out her dagger and gripped it tightly. The anger in her eyes changed to fear as he stepped back. “Do  _ not _ make me ask again boy,” she growled and this time he marched off. 

She got ready to follow when a leather clad hand gripped her arm and spun her around. Her dagger immediately moved towards her aggressors face but didn't connect as he dodged her swing. His other hand came to grab her hand holding the dagger, effectively twist it behind her back. The muscles extended in her arm resulting in her hand opening to drop the dagger and a cry of pain. 

She could hear words being spoken but she didn't understand them. Instead all she knew is she was trapped and needed out. She brought her head back and heard the crunch of bone and a roar of pain as her head connector to bone then pulled away, her hair brushing across her face. She charged the man again, swinging with accurate precision. However the man met her punch for punch, blocking them and even swatting them away.  _ Fight back damn it _ . She felt herself growing weary and she threw another right hook but it was sloppy and she knew it. The man grabbed her right hand and yanked it behind her once again, this time without reservation. She heard her wrist bone snap and she cried out in pain. 

_ Think fast. He's beating you.  _ She twisted away from him, feeling her bones grind again. Gritting her teeth, she pulled her hand back as pain soared up it and dragged the man towards and brought her knee up, happy to hear it hit its mark but less happy as she felt the bottom of armor cut open her thigh.  _ Armor?  _ Instead of thinking she rolled him over her back and straddled his chest, pulling out her hidden boot dagger and bringing it to her enemies throat. A leather hand fought against her as she pushed against it with a growl. It was in her left hand so she wasn't nearly as strong. 

She heard shuffling of feet and felt something slam into her. She felt to the ground reaching for her dagger but was pinned efficiently on her back. She struggled against the man who held her down. “Kid stop,” they yelled and she froze, the red haze parting.

Varric sat on her chest, pinning her hands above her head. She was aware of the screaming pain in her wrist as she struggled to fight the haze in her mind. “Varric get off me. You're hurting me,” she whimpered as the pain grew. “What is wrong with you Songbird,” he whispered harshly. His eyes were burning with worry and fear, something she never saw in his eyes before. “What's wrong with me? I tried to go talk to Rylen and-”

“You almost killed Curly,” he growled and pointed towards the man she had been on top of. The dwarf got off her and she sat up to look where he had pointed. Her heart stopped as she looked over at him. Blood was flowing down his face from his nose and busted lip. He sat on his knees trying to regain his breath and his eyes met hers for a moment. She felt bile rise in her throat as she stood up and ran towards her cabin. She staggered a bit as darkness filled the edges of her eyes.  _ Stay awake. Talk to Rylen.  _ She repeated the mantra again and again until she burst through her door, nearly falling down. Rylen jumped up from the chair and froze. “Aye lass what happened to you-?”

“Who are you loyal to?”

“Wha’-”

“ _ Who Rylen,”  _ she managed to stumble out.  _ Stay awake.  _ “I know Philliam is having you watch Cullen. I need to know now who you are loyal to.”

The man froze for a moment and held his arm over his chest. “The Inquisition Herald. I only did it-” 

“Don't. No more correspondence. If you should receive anything from him, it is to come to me immediately.” She paused and pointed to the door panting. “Leave. Get your lip looked at.” 

“Lady Herald are you-”

“ _ Leave,”  _ she growled and he moved to leave. As he passed her, she reached out and touched his shoulder. “Rylen Im... sorry,” she whispered then shook her head quickly trying to clear the fuzz. “Make sure to tell the... others... I don't wish to be disturbed.” She looked at him with pleading eyes and he nodded, his face remaining stony. “Yes Ser.”

Once she heard the door shut she quickly locked it and stumbled forward hoping to find her bed. Blood roared in her ears as she staggered, whimpering from the pain in her wrist. Instead darkness engulfed her and she tripped over the stool by her wash table, falling forward and feeling her head crack against the table. Then everything went silent.


	17. Chapter 17

Cullen sat in his tent, gently dabbing a cold cloth over the split on his nose. He let out a hiss of pain and sighed, lowering the cloth to stare at the floor. He was still trying to figure out what happened. He had seen her temper at times with the leaders or whenever the Chancellor stuck his nose in places but this was different. It was just a blind rage. 

He tried to stop her when she went to follow Rylen. He didn't know what she was planning on doing, but her drawn weapon made him nervous. He had grabbed her shoulder to stop her which only resulted in her turning on him. Her dagger came at his throat and he quickly dodged it, gripping her wrist and placing it firmly behind her back. He didn't want to harm her, just disarm her. Which he did as he heard her dagger clatter to the ground. “Evelyn what is the matter with you,” he had hissed in her ear but she didn't seem to hear him. Instead she slammed her head back directly into his nose.

He released her immediately with a roar and staggered back, stars dancing in his eyes. Shaking his head, he caught her charging. Every swing of her fists he swatted away. He _really_ did not want to hurt the Herald. Yet he could see she was finally slowly down. Her body was growing tired. He grabbed her final throw, and again twisted her arm behind her back more forcefully. He felt the sickening _snap_ of her bone and gritted his teeth. 

He had expected her to stop then. Instead, she continued to fight. He remembered seeing one of the recruits fight in a similar style in Kirkwall. It took him and two other Templars to try and calm him. In the end, they had to choose their own lives over his. He prayed to the Maker he wouldn't have to do the same here. 

Before he could comprehend what happened, she had twisted away from him and pulled him close using her now broken wrist. In a blinding movement, she brought her knee up and her knee found its mark. He felt the air leave his body and bile rise in his throat. He didn't get a chance to act on it though as he soon found himself on his back, her straddling his chest, and a dagger being held at his throat. His fingers traced the small nick from where she had made contact before his hand came up to hold her wrist back. It was apparently her off hand because she didn't have the same strength behind it.

He kept yelling her name, hoping to break through. His eyes met her pale purple ones and he _thought_ for a moment she saw streaks of bright blue in them. He didn't get to look closer before he saw a flash of blonde and the weight on his chest disappear. Varric had apparently tackled the woman and had her pinned down whispering something to her. In an instant, her body seemed to relax. He heard Varric say something about him and he looked up as the dwarf got off the Herald. Her eyes met his and they widened with fear. Any blue he thought was there was gone and instead he saw bright purple. Then she ran.

Cullen frowned and continued trying to clean his face. They would have to have a private meeting later to determine what to do about their Herald. Movement outside his tent caused him to freeze for a moment before a voice spoke up. “Permission to enter,” the thick Starkhaven accent rang. He sighed and nodded. “Come on in Rylen.”

The man entered the tent and frowned. “Makers breath Cullen, didn't we agree no more tavern fights?”

He chuckled and shook his head as the man came forward to examine his face. “Better me than you.”

“The Herald did this to you? Poor lass looked like she was about to pass out when she made it back to her cabin,” the man said and helped him clean up. “Guess I should thank you huh?”

“Oh you know, just saving your life. Again,” Cullen remarked then hissed as his second put the elfroot poultice on his nose. 

“You should visit the elf Cullen. Wouldn't want to mark up that pretty face.”

“Later. What was that about,” Cullen asked and the man froze for a moment before looked at the ground.

“A simple misunderstanding. Won't happen again,” he murmured and stepped back.

“Rylen, I’m asking as your friend. Don't make me ask you as your commander.”

“I'll tell you about it someday,” he said firmly. “Just wanted to check in and to let you know she asked not to be disturbed.” Cullen noticed some hesitation in his voice and he raised his eyebrow. “But...?”

“But I think someone should check on her soon. She didn't look well Cullen. Really pale and she had a gash on her leg that was bleeding pretty heavily.” The commander nodded and dismissed his friend. While he didn't want to go anytime soon, he knew he would need to. At least to find out what happened. 

~~~

The rest of the day went by fairly smoothly. He went to Solas as requested by Rylen and let him fix up his nose. He decided to talk to him briefly before leaving. “Have you noticed... anything off about Evelyn,” he asked as he hung around. The elf chuckled and turned to face him.

“Are you asking if I've seen her beat up someone unprovoked? No. Actually she and our newest ally were up late having fireside talks and ingesting a rather large amount of wine. I believe they even finished off the bottle.” Cullen frowned and nodded. He had heard the soldiers whispering of their newest ally, another mage. Solas cleared his throat and nodded. “If you are asking if I've ever seen her in a rage like she was out there? Only against the rogue Templars,” he said solemnly. _Of course it was. She seems to hate them. Understandable._ “However I know the leaderships concerns about her not being who she says she is. All I have to tell you the only danger she poses is to herself.” Then he turned his back to him again to let him the conversation was done. Cullen nodded then turned to leave before pausing.

“Yes Commander?” Now the elf sounded annoyed.

“Will you keep an eye out for the Herald? During the fight I may have... broken her wrist,” he muttered with some shame. He hadn't meant to really. He just wanted her to stop fighting. The elf nodded. “If she doesn't come here, I will seek her out.”

Then he returned to his tent to work on his reports. He remained there the rest of the day until one of the scouts called out to him. “Commander?” 

“Yes?”

“Solas asked to speak to you. He's waiting by the Heralds cabin.” 

He immediately stood and walked out, nearly colliding with the scout outside. He bounded up the stairs two at a time and turned towards her cabin where the elf stood with his arms crossed.

“You asked for me?”

“Yes. Lady Evelyns door is locked and she is not answering anyones knocks.” His face was frozen on his but Cullen felt something off about it all.

“How do you know she isn't just sleeping?”

“Commander if she’s sleeping after that fight, we will have worse problems.”

Cullen nodded and moved to knock on the door. “Herald open up please.” _Worth a shot._ He sighed and braced his shoulder against the door before rearing back and shoving all his weight into it. He heard the door splinter and he gave it one more shove before the wood splintered around the lock. He saw the faint shimmer of blue around him as he saw Solas throw up a barrier between the two men. He gripped his pommel tightly and walked in. _Just what was he expecting?_

The room was dark with the setting sun. _Why hasn't she started a fire?_ The air around him crackled with an unfamiliar energy and he felt himself growing uneasy. He saw the overturned stool before he saw the Herald on the ground. Solas however moved right in, rolling her onto her back.

“Makers breath what happened?”

“Commander start a fire please.” He was calm, despite Cullens worry. _I didn't think I hurt her that bad_ he thought as he started a fire. Behind him, he could hear soft whimpers as Solas began healing her broken bone. He turned to see she still wasn't conscious and he frowned. “Shouldn't she be awake for you to do that?”

“She will be shortly Commander. Just... be ready.” He finished and moved his hands up to her shoulder. She was still whimpering and he could see her muscles twitching. He closed his eyes and frowned before opening them again. “Evelyn. Wake up.”

She didn't move. He repeated himself more firmly and this time she gasped awake, sitting up quickly. “Solas? I'm so sorry I-” She cut herself off as she noticed the presence in the room. Her eyes widened with fear and he could see her tense up. Cullen frowned and realized he was still gripping his sword. He quickly released it and rubbed the back on his neck. 

“Thank you Commander. I can take it from here.” The elf dismissed him and the commander quickly took his leave. The night air surrounded him as he made his way to his tent. There was no chance of the leaders talking. That would happen tomorrow after the War Table meeting. 

Entering his tent he sighed and took off his armor. It had been a long day. Too long. Solas words from earlier repeated themselves as he laid on his cot. _The only danger she poses is to herself._ What did that mean? He felt his concerns only grow as he reluctantly went to sleep.

~~~

He walked into the Chantry the next day, reviewing his notes for the meeting. He figured he would try, one last time, to convince her to side with the Templars. Though he wasn't too confident with his work. He could hear a discussion already happening as he reached the doors.

“Could he be a problem later?”

“He very well could be. You know, this could be avoided...”

The conversation stopped as he entered and all eyes turned towards him. Except the purple ones that stared at the map. “Well don't stop on my account,” he said quickly and moved to his spot at the table. Josephine nodded and looked back at the Herald. “As I was saying, this could of been avoided-”

“If I didn't sleep with him, I know,” she sighed and leaned back. He could see dark crescents under her eyes, signifying she hadn't slept. 

“Slept with who?”

“The Marquis. Apparently he was at Viviennes salon and he tried to shit talk the Inquisition,” the Herald explained and he sighed. “So I told everyone that he had an affair on his wife and he had a small dick,” she said with a smirk.

“Makers breath Evelyn.”

“ _What?_ I wasn't going to let him talk down about us!”

“You are an adult Evelyn. We shouldn't be stooping to insulting people like teenagers-”

“ _I know_ ,” she snapped and for a moment, Cullen feared there would be another fight. He was relieved when she took a deep breath and leaned on the table. “Let's just... move on. We will deal with the pig if we have to later.” 

She sat up from the table and began pacing. “So I met with Fiona in Redcliffe. It would seem she had handed over the rebel mages to a Tevinter magister to be slaves.” Her voice was dark, angry. He could see her fist was clenched tightly. “We need a plan to get in there.”

“We don't have the manpower to storm the gates. Either we find another way in or we side with the Templars.” He knew he needed to sound firm, even if he thought it was a lost cause.

“The Templars abandoned the Chantry Commander,” Melody snarled. “The dogs made their bed, now they get to fucking lay in it.”

“Redcliffe is at the hands of a magister! This cannot stand!” _Cassandra siding with the Herald? That was a first._

“Magister sent a letter asking for the Herald of Andraste. It's obviously a trap,” Josephine sighed which only made Melody laugh. “Well damn. And here I was going to send him a fucking fruit basket.”

“A magister controls Redcliffe and some of us want to sit by and do nothing.” Upon hearing Lelianas words, he felt his anger soar.

“In the words of our _Herald_ , the dogs made their bed.” The words flew out faster than he could stop them and every eye was on him. The Herald grabbed the dagger off the table and he braced herself for another fight. Instead she stabbed it into the drawing of Redcliffe and eyed him dangerously. “ _If you have such a fucking problem with me siding with the mages Commander, I suggest you walk out that door and don’t let it fucking hit you on the way out,”_ she snarled, her face red with rage. He sighed and stepped back. “If you go in there, you'll die. And we lose our only means of closing the Breach. I cannot allow it,” he resigned softly. The woman visibly relaxed and stepped back.

“By now, Teagan will already have reached Denerim. If I know Alistair, he will have his army marching there now,” Leliana quipped and he saw the Herald nod in agreement. 

“There must be something we can do,” he watched Evelyn groan and begin pacing again, grabbing the dagger off the table and balancing it in her hands. 

“There had to be some solution we aren't thinking of,” Cassandra sighed.

“Wait.” Everyone froze as Leliana spoke. “There's a secret passageway into the castle. Elise, Alistair and I used it to sneak into the castle during the Fifth Blight.” She leaned over the table and looked excited? Cullen watched her as Melodys eyes lit up. “We can't send any troops but a few scouts and I could sneak in.”

“Too risky. They would be noticed well before they reached the magisters men.”

“Not if they are distracted,” Evelyn spoke in a sing-songy voice. Her eyes were lit up with excitement and she began to bounce around the room like a child. “I go in, distract the magister, in comes Lelianas scouts, quietly taking out his men. Problem solved!”

“It's risky but it could work,” Cullen mused.

“And that's where I come in,” a smooth baritone voice called out. Evelyn giggled at the man and Cullen found himself frowning. “Now wait a minute-”

“So nice of you to join us darling,” Evelyn cooed and wrapped her arm around the man, kissing his cheek. He didn't know why but a ball of jealousy unfurled itself in his gut and he found himself gripping his sword harder.

“I'm sorry I was late my dear.” He looked down at the dagger in her hand and _tsked_ softly. “My dear Evelyn, I sure hope you weren't going to try and run our poor Commander through again?”

She giggled and tossed it onto the table. “But of course not.” She turned and nodded to the leaders. “This is Dorian Pavus. He will help us get into Redcliffe,” she said firmly and Cullen sighed. _There's no talking her out of this._

“This plan threatens your life and we cannot in good consciousness order you to do this.”

“Commander, my life has been threatened since I was eighteen. Maybe this time I'll get lucky and something will end it,” she replied coolly and smirked. “Lets get ready. We have ourselves a magister to kill.”

~~~

Cullen left after the Herald, stopping at a camp that was set up. She had wanted to travel to the Storm Coast to get a new potential ally then head to Redcliffe. She didn't even know he was coming. He just had to make sure everything ran smoothly. He dismounted his horse and led her to eat while he checked in with the scouts. “Lady Evelyn should be in Redcliffe by now Commander,” she chirped. “Our scouts are reporting King Alistairs army is nearly there themselves. If you ride now, you may be able to head them off.” He hasn't asked for that but he was still thankful nonetheless. He mounted his horse and rode off towards them. 

It wasn't long before he saw the shimmer of armor up ahead, the kings color fluttering in the wind. He kicked his horse to urge her to go faster. Redcliffe was just over the hill and if he didn't get there before the king, everything would be ruined. “Your Majesty,” he called once he saw the strawberry blonde hair over the armys helms. He didn't turn and Cullen groaned before speeding up to make it past them. 

He turned his horse sharply to cut Alistair off at the gates, much to the kings anger. “What is the meaning of this,” he growled and Cullen quickly slid off his horse and fell to one knee. “Your Majesty. I apologize-”

“Cullen?” He raised his head at his name and the king grinned brightly. “It is you!” He slid off his horse and pulled the man to his feet. “How have you been? I haven't seen you-”

“Since Kinloch,” he muttered, the word causing a cold shiver down his spine. “Your Majesty, I wish this was a courtesy stop but I'm afraid I have to stop me.”

“Stop me? What's this about Cullen?”

“The Herald is in there. She's trying to stop the magister.”

Alistair nodded then turned to remount. “Guess we should go give her a hand shouldn't we?”

Cullen nodded and remounted his horse, riding alongside the king.

“What's she like? The Herald?” Alistair looked around at the village, everyone moving to the side.

“Well. She's Melody Trevelyans sister,” he said slowly. Alistair looked at him wide eyed.

“Evelyn? But I thought-”

“She died? Yeah so did we. We don't think she actually is though. The only thing marking her as a Trevelyan is the eyes, according to our ambassador.”

“Wow. Wonder what Melody is doing now? She used to write us, El and I. We got a letter saying she was leaving Kirkwall and haven't heard anything since.” Cullen bowed his head and didn't reply.

“Weren't you in Kirkwall? Did you see her?”

“Once,” he replied gruffly. Alistair nodded and didn't reply. “Evelyn... Evelyn told our ambassador she believes her sister to be dead,” he whispered softly as a lump formed in his throat. Alistair turned to him with his eyes wide. Then he shook his head.

“No. No she has to be alive. You never saw that girl fight. When she was mad, man, almost no one could stop her. One night, shortly after we returned from Orzammar, she had gotten into an argument with Sten and it... was not pretty. I actually had to silence her,” he muttered as they climbed the front stairs to the castle. Cullen frowned. _Huh, that sounds like-_

The sound of yelling could be heard in the main hall and it made the men freeze. Pulling out his sword and shield, Cullen looked at the king whose face had lost all mirth and was now very solemn. “Well let's give them a welcome.”

They pushed open the doors as the Herald was advancing on the magister. “It's over Alexius, give up now,” she growled and drew her bow. 

“You were an accident! You should never had that mark!”

“No!”

He saw Dorian dodge towards the Herald as a bright green light filled the room and he shielded his eyes. When he looked back, only ash and dust floated where the Herald and mage once stood. 

“ _NO! Evelyn!”_


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Brief mentions of gore towards the end

Water flew over Melodys head as she hit the ground, accidentally swallowing a mouthful before standing up. She coughed out what she swallowed and tried to focus her swimming vision. Beside her, Dorian groaned and complained about being wet. _It's the Storm Coast all over again._ An alarm rang in her head as she straightened. Her head throbbed and her stomach flipped over as she did. She froze as she saw the red crystalline spire coming out of the ground. 

Water sloshing in front of her brought her attention from the lyrium as two Venatori agents ran in. Dorian engaged in them immediately, dowsing one of them in fire. Melody reached for her bow, only to find it had snapped in half in the fall and her dagger was nowhere to be seen. “Fuck,” she muttered before joining the fellow mage in burning the Tevinter agents, her purple flames mixing with his orange ones. 

She panted as their enemies dropped, the water sizzling from the heat the armors absorbed. Dorian looked at her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“Keeping secrets my lady?”

She set out a weak laugh before finally purging her stomach into the water. Her head was throbbing harder now and she staggered to the other side of the room to put distance between herself and the lyrium. She placed a cool hand on her neck and sighed as she felt the pain fade and her stomach settle. “Yes well. My bow broke. Anyway what happened?”

“Displacement? It's probably not what Alexius had planned. The rift must have moved us... but to where?”

She glanced around and frowned. “Looks like the Redcliffe cells. I was here once. During the Fifth Blight.”

“Oh? Was our Herald a naughty girl?”

“Ha-ha. I actually came with the Hero of Ferelden and King Alistair to assist with exorcising a the arls son. Anyway what happened? Last I remember we were in the main hall.”

He nodded then walked off frowning. Then his face suddenly lit up. “Of course! It's not where, its when!”

“Come again?”

“The amulet! Alexius used that amulet to send us through time!”

Melody frowned and glanced around. “Forward or backward?”

“Well I don't rightfully know. We'd have to search around and hopefully find some clues as to when we are,” he chimed and looked around. “And see if we can get back.”

Melody nodded and began searching the dead guards bodies, which earned her a disgusted look from her companion. “Odd time for looting yes?”

“Maybe so, but we need a key if we are going to get out of here,” she grunted as she yanked a cord off ones neck with a small key hanging to it. Dorian chuckled and moved aside to allow her to open the door. She leaned down and grabbed one of the dead guards shortsword, swinging it in front of her. “Let's go find Alexius shall we?”

They left their little cell and began navigating through the halls. Red lyrium filled the halls making it hard to maneuver around them. After every attempt to avoid touching the stuff, her body would give in and she would end up vomiting. Then rinse her mouth out with her waterskin, which had remained undamaged by the sewage she found herself in, and continue walking. She would massage her temples to rid herself of her headache then continue on. “Will you be alright,” Dorian finally asked after what felt like the hundredth time of her stopping. They had barely made it to the first flight of stairs before she leaned against the door. She shook her head and gave him a crooked smile. 

“No but we can't stop it. My body just hates being around red lyrium. Makes me pretty much a spewing fountain until I'm away. Which... does not appear to be anytime soon,” she said glumly and wiped her mouth. “Faster we get out of there, the faster I'll be fine. My magic will only hold out for so long.”

She stood up and pushed the door open, gaining the attention of two more agents. She nodded to Dorian and they split up. She threw a ball of fire at the one on the left then she ran forward, shoving her sword into the man's stomach. She grunted as she felt it saw through bone and ripped it out, the man's blood spraying her face. She turned just as Dorian finished off his and nodded. He grimaced at the sight before him and crossed his arms. “That blood will never come out of that armor.”

She chuckled and moved towards his door. She swung it open and nearly hit her head off a chunk of red lyrium. The song rang in her head and she had to resist the urge to cover her ears. She quickly ran inside and down the stairs, the song growing quieter but not silent. Instead she heard a deep voice singing mindlessly down the hall and she moved towards it.

“ _Three hundred bottles of beer on the wall, three hundred bottles of beer... take one down, pass it around...”_

“Bull?” Melody's heart pounded in her chest as she looked at the Qunari, the red aura around him making her tremble slightly. The man turned towards her with red eyes, a frown forming on his face.

“You're not dead? You should be dead. There was a burn mark on the ground and everything.”

“Nope, I'm still very much so alive,” she replied as she fought another wave of nausea. Dorian looked at her and then back to The Bull. “Alexius didn't kill us, he sent us forward in time. This is our future.”

“Well this is my present and in _my past_ , I saw you both die.”

Melody groaned and rubbed her forehead, the pain growing a bit before settling back down. “I promise you Bull, I am very much alive.” She sighed and crossed her arms. “What about you? You don't look so hot yourself.”

“Red lyrium. If I'm lucky it'll kill me. If not, I hope I'll die fighting.” He walked out and grabbed a battle axe that had been discarded on the side. “Wait so you're dying?”

“No he's not. Once we get to Alexius and to the past, none of this will happen. Remember?”

Bull laughed darkly and shook his head. “It's not Alexius you should worry about. It's his Elder One. He assassinated the Empress of Orlais and launched an invasion of the south in the confusion. The army was all demon. You ever fought a demon army? Don't recommend it,” he growled.

“I should of been there. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help,” she growled and tightened her grip on her sword. The man just snorted and shook his head. “Demon. Army. Shit you were lucky you died early.”

“It was my job to prevent this from happening! I never should of been in that hall,” she cried, guilt swelling in her gut. “I was the only thing preventing all of this and I walked _knowingly_ into a trap.”

“We can prevent this Evelyn. We need to find Alexius.” Dorian put his hand on her shoulder and she exhaled slowly. She could feel an episode coming on and her body was shaking. She reached into her bag for her potions but hissed as a piece of glass sliced her finger. _Awesome._ In a quick fix, she placed her hand over her chest and gently massaged it, letting the magic flow for a moment before blinking. 

“Didn't take you for a mage Boss.”

“Because no one knows. Also, my name is Melody. You know, in case we don't make it out of here.” She sighed and looked around. “Who else is here?”

“That female Warrior. With the black hair. Cassandra? And apparently your commander and spymaster-”

“Cullen is here?” _He was supposed to be at Haven, how did he get here?_

“Yeah though you wouldn't know him looking at him. Come on let's get moving. No time like the present.”

Melody nodded and they moved out, moving to the lower cells and finding Cassandra in a similar state of Bull. She too was shocked to see the Herald alive but Melody had expected that. She convinced her to follow her as well. “Alexius is holed up in the throne room. That's where we will find him,” the warrior said. Melody nodded and they made their way out after finding her a sword and shield.

They left the room and climbed the stairs to head back out to the hallway. “I want to make sure no one else is here,” she said when she was met with complaints. Sure enough the first door she came to, she found the mage elf that invited her to Redcliffe to begin with encased in lyrium. Her anger began to rise. The elfs green and red eyes grew at the sight of her, leaning against the wall.

“You're... alive? How? I saw you... disappear... into the rift.” The woman panted out. She sounded as if she were in pain and for a moment, she felt sympathy.

“Yeah that's what everyone keeps saying. What's happened to you,” Melody asked, keeping her distance. She had managed not to purge in a while and she didn't want to push her luck, though the ache in her head increased again.

“Red lyrium. It's a disease. That longer you're near it... eventually... you become this. Then they mine your body for more.” Despite already being a good amount away from it, she stepped even further away. Just for good measure. _Serves your right for turning the mages over to that monster_ , she nearly spoke but instead bit her tongue.

“What's the date? It's very important,” Dorian said quickly. _Shouldn't we have asked the date before now?..._

“Harvestmere... 9:42 Dragon.”

“9:42?! We missed a whole year,” he cried and turned towards Melody who had the same shocked expression on her face. “Dorian if it only took a year to do all this damage.” She shook her head. “We need to get out of here _now_. Get back to our time.”

The elf coughed and looked back towards her. “You need to stop this. Alexius... he serves an ‘Elder One’... more powerful than the Maker... no one... challenges him and lives...”

Melody growled and turned on her heels, stomping towards the door. “Alexius and his Elder One will wish I had died.”

She ignored the throbbing in her head as she stalked up the stairs, kicking open the door to the hall. Three of the zealots were perched outside of the door across the now lowered drawbridge. She wasted no time sending a large purple ball of flame towards them, quickly igniting them before they can react.

“Evelyn you're a mage?” She forgot that Cassandra didn't know and she pinched the bridge of her nose as the pain grew again. “Uh yeah. Also my name is Melody.”

“Melody...? Cullen and Leliana mentioned you. Before we came to Redcliffe.” Melody groaned and kept walking towards the bridge. “My father sent me to Kinloch Hold. In Ferelden. I met Cullen there.” She kicked one of the bodies off the bridge and opened the door. “After I was removed from the Circle, I traveled with Leliana and the Grey Wardens. So yes, they both knew me.” She left out the relationships, something she didn't want to revisit right now. It would just be a distraction anyway.

They jogged up the stairs and she held the back of her hand to her mouth to keep the bile down. The smell of rotting flesh hit her hard as she saw the bodies. “Maker have mercy,” she whispered and made her way across the room. She searched the side rooms and determined they were in the guard barracks now. “Come on, we need to find Leliana and Cullen.”

“Herald...”

“ _Melody.”_

_“Melody._ I don't think Cullen-” Cassandra hesitated and Melody shook her head.

“No, I know he's alive. He would never bow down to someone.” She growled and stormed up the next set of stairs and pushed the door open, her headache growing. She followed the hall and more stairs, opening a door to another fight. Her sword made quick work of the Venatori mage while the others finished over the foot soldiers.

She left the room and moved to the next door, wasting no time slamming it open. Her eyes met icy blue ones of a corpse and her heart thudded as she raced forward. The body took the advantage of the distraction and wrapped its legs around the torturers neck, choking him before twisting its body to snap the man's neck. Melody ran forward to help them down, searching the dead man for a key. She reached up to uncuff the body when the Orlesian voice made her freeze. “You're alive!”

“Leliana...? What happened to you?” In the matter of a year, she looked years older, more like a corpse than anything. She didn't answer and looked at her, gripping her arms. “I knew you'd come Melody,” she said softly.

“You're safe now- Wait what did you call me?”

The spymaster laughed darkly and shrugged. “You thought I wouldn't find out, girl? Only Melody Trevelyan would willingly walk into a trap and die just to come back from the dead.” She shook her head and looked out the door. “If you are back from the dead, you need to do better than safe.” She moved towards the door while Melody followed. “You... aren't curious how we got here?”

“No.”

“Alexius sent us into the future. This. The Elder One- It was never meant to happen,” Dorian explained anyway. “If we can get back to the future, we can stop this from ever happening.”

Leliana snorted and glared at the mages. “And people wonder why mages are feared. No one should have this much power.” Melody tensed up and looked at the ground. “I never wanted any of this. We are going to prevent this from ever happening-”

“Enough.” Leliana stepped forward, her blue eyes blazing. “This is all pretend to you, some future you hope to never happen. _I suffered._ The whole world suffered. It was _real_.”

“Leli...”

“Don't.” Leliana turned towards the door, leaving the group behind. Tears burned in Melodys eyes as they followed behind her.

~~~

Melody opened the door and walked out into the courtyard, her shielding her eyes from the sudden brightness before blinking at the sky.

“The Breach! Its-”

“Everywhere.”

They made their way through the courtyard, destroying a fade rift that had formed almost on top of them and the demons with it. Melody cleaned the goo off her sword and pushed forward. She rubbed her temple every time her headache grew and now she was feeling her reserve run low. Lyrium grew out of almost every surface and her nausea was back in full force. She fought it back and quickened her pace to get away.

They dealt with another fade rift and Melody felt herself start to falter. She quickly closed it before leaning against the castle to purge herself once again. Dorian put his hand on her back and sent a cooling feeling through her body. She whispered her thanks and made her way up the stairs toward the main hall.

The song of lyrium wasn’t as loud here and Melody felt her body going back to normal. She had grown accustomed to the pain by this point but having it disappear filled her with a new strength. Her hand started prickling as they approached the main hall. “There's a rift in here,” she whispered and carefully pushed the door open. The familiar green glow filled the room and she crept forward before raising her hand and pouring the magic into the tear. It opened with a _crackle_ and chaos ensued. She quickly swung her blade towards a shade, slicing it open then sent a wall of flame towards two Venatori zealots that were ganging up on Dorian.

Once the rift closed with its familiar rumble like thunder, she made her way towards the main door to the throne room. “Damn it,” she groaned as she tried to push it open. “How paranoid is he to have locks like this?”

“Very.”

“Well how are we going to get it open.” She had to resist the urge to kick the door. They came too far just to fail now.

“Here try this,” Bull said and tossed a red lyrium shard at her. Fighting the urge to move, she caught it with her gloved hand and placed it into the door. “Well alright. Now how do we find the rest?”

“Well the mans gotta eat right? Maybe his advisors have the rest?”

And the search began. They made their way through the different rooms, Venatori and collecting shards. She handed the shards to Cassandra to carry, knowing they wouldn't make it very far with her doing it. They stood out in the hall and glanced around.

“Okay we have 3 shards. We need one more,” Melody breathed as she rubbed her chest. A door slamming open made her jump and she wheeled around as her group readied themselves for another battle. “You asked about our Commander. You are about to find out what happened,” Cassandra said with a note of sadness. Melody looked back as a man in Templar Knight armor, a red and black cape fluttered in tattered shreds behind him. The once amber eyes were now mixed with a blood red color. Red lyrium shards jutted out of his shoulders and forearm and lined his sword. “Cullen,” she whimpered and stepped forward slowly. The scar on her chest ache and his eyes flashed and he charged towards her. 

_“She is dead and you will not tempt me anymore Demon,”_ he hissed as he swung for her. She quickly rolled to dodge his swing, her heart thumping heavily. Her group sprang into action, attacking him in hopes of taking him down but his eyes never let Melodys. Cassandra pleaded with him to stop attacking and think, not wanting to kill her friend. She threw a quick purple ball of fire, hitting him square in the chestplate. He staggered for a moment before slamming his sword into the ground. She felt the world grow fuzzy and her throat get tight as she realized, _he just silenced me._ Dorian struggled behind him, the Qunari tossing him behind his back to protect him as he regained his footing.

She shook her head and looked up to see his sword swinging towards her again. She jumped back just as his sword grazed across her chest, crossing the scar that was already there. 

“Cullen stop please! I don't want to kill you,” she cried as she gripped her sword. Her words fell on deaf ears as he charged again. She met his blade and braced herself, gritting her teeth against the much larger male. He had the upper hand both in size and brute strength. His face grew close to hers and she heard him growl as her blade began to slip from her hand. 

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, making him freeze and she took her moment. She brought her forehead forward and collided it with his nose. He let out a roar and stubbled back as she heard the familiar crunch of bone. She ran forward again and swiped her blade towards him, meeting him once again. This time she slid her blade around his, knocking it loose from his hand and shoving her blade into the weak spot of his armor, grimacing as she felt the hot sticky liquid rush out over her arm. 

He went limp in her arms and Melody lowered him to the ground gently. Her purple eyes met his once more as tears fell from them. "Melody," he whispered softly. “I prayed to the Maker he would let me see you once last time." He reached his hand up to touch her cheek gently. She involuntarily leaned into it and exhaled slowly, feeling the warmth like she had in the Circle. Remembering his gentle touches in the dark corners, holding her when she cried from missing home. His soft caresses on her body as they made love. The rubber band in her chest snapped with emotion and she forced back the shuddering sob that threatened to escape. Then his hand dropped limply and she let out a soft cry as her tears fell. A gentle hand touched her shoulder and she looked up to see Dorian gazing at her softly. "This isn't real Melody. Don't forget that." She nodded to herself and she searched him for his shard then stood up. 

Pain soared through her left arm and she staggered a minute, looking down. A gash ran down the length of her forearm, glimmering with small red splinters. “Fuck,” she whispered and looked at Dorian with wide eyes.

"Maker when did that happen?" Dorian help her arm and examined it, carefully pulling out a small shard. Melody shook her as she gazed over the wound. It wasn't too deep but it was riddled with the lyrium shards and it would waste too much time trying to clean it.

They looked at the group who all gave her sad eyes. Then she looked at her fellow mage. “We don't have time to pick them all out,” she said and looked around. “It must of happened when I blocked his sword the last time”. She swallowed and closed her eyes. “Leliana, do you have a dagger on you?”

The spy nodded and pulled hers out, handing it over. She sat on the floor and looked at Dorian. “I'll need you to be ready. You need to cauterize the wound otherwise I'll bleed out and we really will be screwed.”

“Melody what are you-”

He didn't get to finish as she dug the blade into her open flesh. She gritted out a yell as blood flowed out of the new wound as she cut around the damaged flesh. Her vision blurred momentarily as she finished cutting, pulling the flesh out of her arm. The gash was now significantly larger and the blood poured freely from it now. She held back another yell as she felt flames lick the wound, sealing it shut. 

She panted and leaned back with her eyes closed, her blood roaring in her ears. She was fainting aware of a tapping on her cheek before a sharper sting came and made her jerk her eyes open.

“Don't you go dying on me now,” Dorian yelled and helped her up. "We are too close to getting back to our present." She checked her arm to make sure the bleeding had stopped. A large portion of her forearm was missing to the point she thought she could see bone. _No don't think on it now._ It was a slow ooze now which she could handle. She ripped a piece of the fallen templars cape and wrapped it around it to stall the bleeding further. She sent what little magic she had left into her chest, calming her burning lungs. Her eyes were hardened as she turned and stalked towards the main hall with her companions following behind her. _Alexius will pay._

_~~~_

A flash of green light and she found herself standing in a brightly lit throne room. “You'll have to do better than that,” Dorian sneered but Melody didn't hear it. She stalked over to the man and pulled a punch to connect with his mouth. It hit its mark and the man stumbled backwards. She moved towards him and kicked him in his stomach, her tears falling now as she remembered watching her friends die so she could escape. Remembering running the blade through their commander, forcing all the feelings she had locked up tight to surface once again. It made her feel too vulnerable and that angered her. Dorian grabbed her waist and pulled her back, turning her and burying her face in his shoulder as she cried harder.

“Shh my dear it's over now,” he cooed and smoothed her hair. She took a shuddering breath and turned towards the magister, stalking forward. Her steps were starting to get unsteady and she glared at the man. “You're done here,” she snarled and resisted the urge to kick him again. The man looked pitiful on the ground and she nearly felt sorry for him. _Nearly._ “Inquisition. Take him.”

The sound of metal on stone met her ears and she turned the sound. She recognized the colors as the Kings guard and she found herself stumbling down the stairs. She noticed the blonde head beside Alistair and she found herself freezing for a moment. It had been nearly ten years since she had seen him. He had grown up, was older now, but she couldn't say anything. She too had grown up since the days of the Blight. Her arm began burning and she felt warmth rolling down it. The cut on her chest began burning as well but she shoved it back to stand meet the men in the middle of the hallway.

“Grand Enchanter Fiona! Imagine how surprised I was to learn you'd given Redcliffe over to a Tevinter magister! Especially since I'm fairly certain it belongs to Arl Teagan!” His voice was full of wonder but his face showed the well reigned in anger he had.

“Your Majesty, we never intended...”

“I know what you intended. I wanted to help you, but you made it impossible.” He paused and let out a sigh. “You and your followers are no longer welcome in Ferelden.”

“But we have hundreds who need protection. Where will we go?”

Dorian leaned over Melodys shoulder, who was still staring at Alistair as if he wasn't there. "Don't you need the mages to close the Breach?"

“I- I should point out we still need mages to help with the Breach,” she stumbled out. Her lips were starting to tingle and her tongue felt heavy. She pinched her nose to try to stave off the nausea that was coming up. She faintly heard Cullen speak up in the back. “Makers breath Evelyn your hurt.” He moved to help her but she stepped back, her eyes wide. Beside her, Dorian wrapped his arm around her to hold her upright and shook his head at the ex-templar.

“And what are the arraignments,” the elf asked in a soft growl.

“Better than what Alexius offered I hope? The _Inquisition_ is better than that, yes?” Dorian looked towards her with hopeful eyes. 

She looked at the elf then at the commander and king and she felt her rage rise again. “You will surrender yourselves as prisoners and conscripts to the Inquisition,” Melody said in a soft growl. The elfs eyes blew open and she stepped back. “I know we shouldn't have accepted the magisters “help” I know but-”

“ _You know nothing_ ,” she yelled and pulled away from the Tevinter mage. “You know _nothing_ of what your decision caused! You didn’t see your kings head on a fucking pike!” Melody flinched as she remembered walking into the throne room, seeing his and Celenes heads on either side of the throne. She saw Alistair frown and rub the front of his neck, hearing him mutter something but she didn't catch it. “You didn't watch your friends get slaughtered so you could escape. You didn't have to kill-” She stopped herself as she caught Cullens amber eyes watching her, full of concern. Tears wanted to spill but she held them back. Her blood roared in her ears and she clenched her right fist. She couldn't feel her left one anymore. "You didn't have to kill your friends. Your decision almost doomed all of Thedas!" 

“The sky is torn open. There is no room for failure,” she threatened and pulled her shortsword out, pointing it at the woman. “I have been sided with mages since I heard they could help close the Breach. But do not think for _one second_ I will not put you down. We need your help. But we would be mad to trust you,” she threatened. It hurt her to say these things to a fellow mage but she refused to let them think she could be walked all over. A hand touched her arm and she turned to see Alistair frowning at her. She immediately looked down at the ground and sheathed her sword. The world had begun to spin and she shook her head to try and stop it. 

“Then I give the Inquisition all my best. I would like Redcliffe back to normal by sundown tomorrow,” Alistair ordered. His hand never left Melodys arm and he looked at her with worry, feeling her sway under his grasp. “I will prepare the mages for the trip to Haven,” she heard the elf say and she looked away to her companions. “G-go with them. Help them prepare. We leave as soon as they are able,” she stumbled out. “Boss you okay,” she heard Bull ask and she closed her eyes to keep the room from spinning. “ _Now please,”_ she yelled and watched as her group filtered out, Dorian the last. She nodded to him and he followed. “Evelyn would you sit down please? You're bleeding everywhere,” she heard a baritone voice call out. She opened her mouth to say she was fine but bile rose faster than she could move her hand. Melody tried to turn away but still managed to land it on the front of Alistairs uniform. _It tastes like copper,_ she thought as she tried to straighten herself up. “Oh I'm so sorry Ali...” she whimpered before feeling herself pitching forward into his arms. She heard someone tell her to hold on but didn't know who as everything grew out of focus, a soft ringing in her ears.


	19. Chapter 19

Voices spoke in a low buzz around her. Her head felt as if her brain was trying to escape, pushing against her skull, the voices not helping. She opened her mouth to speak but found her mouth and throat dry, causing a coughing fit. The voices stopped and she felt a hand lift her head and a cup come to her lips. She tried to fight against it but her left arm was secured against her chest.

“My lady, drink,” the voice said softly. She acquiesced and took a slow sip, feeling the cool liquid roll down her throat. She opened her eyes against the light and saw a young elf with light brown hair and pale blue eyes staring at her gently. _She doesn't look much more than ten._ She nodded to the woman as she slowly sat up. “Easy Lady Herald. His Majesty would not like it if you were to fall unconscious again,” the young elf said slowly. _His Majesty?_

She remembered suddenly where she was and realized she needed to move..

“How long was I out?”

“Only for the night Lady Herald.”

She nodded and moved to the edge of the bed. “I need to get to Haven,” she muttered and stood up. The world swayed under her and she saw the floor coming to greet her. She threw her hands out to catch herself and cried in pain as she felt something pull along her left arm. The elf yelped and ran out of the room. _Well some help you are,_ she said with gritted teeth. 

Running could be heard as she had started to pull herself into a sitting position. “Evelyn what are you doing,” a familiar baritone voice called and she felt strong arms lift her and set her on the bed. She placed her forehead in her head trying to still the spinning world.

“Cullen? What are you doing here,” she asked softly once she found her voice. He stared at her for a moment before crossing his arms.

“I didn't see the need to let you risk going against Alexius alone,” he said in his War Room voice. She gritted her teeth and glared at him. “You should of stayed at Haven,” she growled. He frowned and shook his head. “You never should of been here,” she whispered. 

“Evelyn-”

“No. You don't know what you coming here caused,” she growled. Her arm throbbed and she felt wetness spreading slowly under her bandage. _Awesome lets bleed all over again._

“What are you talking about? I didn't-” His voice was beginning to rise in anger and she felt herself doing the same.

“If you hadn't been there, I have never-”

The door opened and she bit her tongue. Alistair moved into the room and looked between the arguing adults. “Must be important to be arguing this early in the morning,” he quipped with a raised eyebrow. 

Melody looked between the two males, realizing Cullen was in a white linen shirt with loose black pants while Alistair wore a beige top with darker pants. _The servant must have woke them when she fell._ There was light filtering into her room but it must be just after sunrise. The two adults lowered their heads as if they had been scolded by a parent. “I apologize, Your Majesty,” Cullen said softly. 

Alistair chuckled and turned towards Melody. “I trust you are feeling better Herald,” he inquired and she glanced at the now blood soaked bandage. “I was until I fell,” she gave a half smile and sighed. Alistair leaned out the door to the elf servant, asking her to grab the healer. The elf scurried off before she could open her mouth. _Better now than ever._

“Commander do you have any lyrium on you,” she asked softly. Her hands trembled and she avoided looking at them.

“Wh-what? Why do you need lyrium,” he sputtered out, his arms crossing. She sighed and shook her head. “Just... do you have any?”

“N-Not on me no.” His voice was quiet and she found herself looking at him curiously. 

“Why would you not have any...? Nevermind,” she sighed and unwrapped her arm. Cullen moved forward to stop her and she held up her hand. He stopped and frowned while Alistair looked on curiously. She closed her eyes and used her right hand to pour a cooling mist over her mangled arm. Now that she could see it, she realized she was lucky to be alive. A large jagged wound was still there, even if it was semi patched together. It would take a lot of work to heal over the muscle, which she could do. 

“You're a mage,” she heard Cullen whisper but she didn't answer. That would take away from her concentration and she needed to focus.

She sighed as what little magic she could put out emptied itself and she felt back in the bed. Not hard enough to cause worry, just a flop of exhaustion. Nausea filled her and she threw her right arm over her eyes with a groan. She heard a small noise from the door as the elf returned with the mage healer. She peeked and smiled as the bald headed elf gracefully slid around the king. 

“Solas how did you get here,” she said and sat up as he came to crouch beside her. The elf chuckled and examined her arm. She cleared her throat as he finished repatching her up. 

“I was told you fell and tore open your stitching, yet it seemed at least half still together,” he said with a smirk.

She felt her cheeks redden and she looked at her hands. “Yes well... I would of been able to heal it myself if I had lyrium,” she muttered with a quick glare at the commander who was staring off at something on the ceiling. The elf nodded and pulled a bottle out. She went to grab it and he pulled it back from her, gaining a whimper from her. “You are still very weak Lady Trevelyan,” he warned with a solemn face. “Do not heal yourself or use any magic until I give you the okay.” Melody met his eyes and nodded. Her dreams had been plagued with more demons than normal. Fighting them off left her depleted when she woke. The elf handed her the bottle and she popped the stopper.

Cullen turned towards her and she noticed his eyes were blown open, his amber eyes nearly black. She drank the potion quickly, feeling the bitter cooling potion start flowing through her body. She smiled and handed the now empty vial to Solas who nodded and took his silent leave after she thanked him. 

Once the door shut, the tension in the smaller bedroom grew thicker. She shifted uncomfortably on the bed as she felt the commanders hard gaze on her, not unlike the Templars from the Circle. Even though he claimed he wasn’t a part of the Order any longer, she still didn't know where he fell on the trust scale. Finally she sighed and looked up at the men. 

“So any-?”

“ _Who are you?”_ Cullens voice was low and it came out almost as a growl. Melody held her head up and met his gaze, her own eyes hard. 

“You know who I am,” she remarked and crossed her arms. Alistair watched her closely and she noticed some distrust in his eyes as well.

Cullen moved forward and held his hands at his waist, clenching them so hard his knuckles turned white. “You are not Evelyn Trevelyan like you claim. So tell me who you are.”

“You know exactly who I am _... Ser Knight,”_ she added with a softer tone, like the one she used when she was in the Circle. His eyes widened and his face grew pale with recognition. She exhaled slowly and lowered her eyes. Alistair looked between them with confusion and she sighed at the bewildered king. 

“Alistair,” she said in a sing-songy voice. His gaze snapped towards her and she held her hand out. The warning Solas gave her rang out but she ignored it, allowing a small purple flame to form in her palm because shuttering it out. His eyes widened and a smile broke out before charging forward, gathering her up in a hug. She laughed and wrapped her arms around him, the hug warming her much like a brothers would.

“We've been so worried, me and Elise that is,” he said with a hearty laugh. She found it hard to believe the Warden who had been so hard on her was actually worried for her safety but she found it heartwarming. She giggled and patted his shoulder. 

“I'm sorry for worrying you. Now could you please quit crushing my arm,” she said in a soft whimper. The king jumped back and began apologizing profusely. She waved them away and moved to stand again. He grabbed her shoulder to keep her from rising, much to her dismay.

“We must prepare to leave for Haven,” she said in a last ditch effort to get him to let her rise. Instead he shook his head and turned to Cullen whose eyes had not left her. “The commander can get everyone moving after breakfast. I would like to spend a few minutes catching up with you.” Cullen nodded with a soft ‘Your Majesty’ and sped out of the room, either not wanting to disobey the king or be around his former lover. The ginger turned to her with a warm smile and sat on the bed with his hand on her knee. “Now then, tell me _everything_.”

~~~

The ride back to Haven was quiet, aside from her companions bickering. She told them all who she was, her name and how she was, in fact, a mage and not rogue. Varric simply laughed. “About time Songbird,” he remarked. Bull shrugged it off, telling her it didn't change that she still kicked the shit out of a Tevinter magister. Cassandra struggled the most with it but dropped it after Melody begged her to. The only one she hadn't talked to was Cullen, mainly because he avoided her like she had the plague. Not like she could blame him. 

When they made camp the first night, she decided to make her rounds through the camp to check the traveling mages. Alot of them were apprehensive towards her and she needed to get them to understand she needed their help. She sat quietly by the campfire eating while listening to the mages around her talk. A lot of it was just sharing Circle stories or asking what will happen once the Breach is sealed. She didn't even know what she was doing after the Breach closed. She couldn't return home. Couldn't remain in Ferelden. Maybe Starkhaven? No one knew her there, except Rylen. _Shit, I need to apologize to him..._

A loud commotion from behind her brought her out of her thoughts. She jumped up and moved towards the loud yelling mixed in a young girls cries of pain. She pushed through the growing crowd to see one of the soldiers roughly holding a young elf by her arm, blue eyes bright with tears.

“What's going on here,” she demanded. The soldier looked at the Herald and motioned towards the girl. “We found her hiding in the wagon Lady Herald. She may be a spy for whoever the magister worked for,” he said quickly and must have gripped the girls arm harder because she cried out again. Melody recognized her as the servant that had attended to her in the castle. 

She looked at her with kind eyes and sighed softly. “Were you trying to spy _da’len,_ ” she asked softly. The girl's eyes widened at the elvish word and shook her head. 

“N-no milady! I just wanted... wanted to come along,” she mumbled and looked down at the ground. Melody nodded and looked at the soldier with hardened eyes. “There. You see? No issue. Now unhand her.” Her voice was firm and she crossed her arms expectantly. The soldier shook his head and gripped the girl harder, making her cry out once again. “She may be lying Herald. She should be kept for Lady Nightingale-”

“Let. Her. Go.”

“I don't take orders from you-”

“I said let her go. You are hurting her. Do not make me ask again,” she growled and stepped forward with a purple flame in her hand. The man jumped back and released the girl who froze in her spot. Melody motioned her forward and she ran forward. She quickly swept her behind her back and stared at the soldier. She closed her hand and turned to leave. “Maker damned knife ear lover.”

She whipped around and tossed a throwing knife, landing just above the soldiers shoulder into the side of the wagon. His eyes widened and she moved forward. “Want to run that by me again,” she growled as she started forward but saw a movement dart past her. “C-Commander!”

She stopped and blinked at the towering figure between them, his arms outstretched between them. “What's in Makers name are you two doing?”

His blonde hair was disheveled as if he had been asleep but she noticed he still had his armor on. The fire flickered off the shiny armor and she lost her words. She glanced towards the soldier and noticed he had drawn his sword. She felt her gut turn and she clenched her fists. “Sir, there was-”

“Your soldier was aggressively handling a refugee child. He refused to unhand her when ordered to. Then decided to continue to run his mouth,” she replied rather coolly and crossed her arms. The man scoffed and put his sword away. “You don't order me,” he stated and Cullen turned to the man with a growl.

“She is the _Herald_ ! She can very well tell you to do anything she wishes.” he stated and the man froze for a moment. “We will deal with this when we get to Haven. Until then, _do not_ approach the Herald or the child. Or so help me I will run you through myself.” The man saluted and staggered off. Melody huffed and shook her head. “I had that under control-”

“ _And you_ !” She jumped a little as he rounded on her, pointing his finger at her like a child being scolded. “You should know better,” he growled. She moved the small elf behind her further, feeling the child shake slightly.”I was protecting a _child_! Of everyone, I would expect you-”

“People already fear mages and knowing their Herald is one is giving them enough reason to fear you too!”

“They should fear me,” she growled now getting in his face. She wasn't very tall, her face coming to meet his chest so she was on her tiptoes, not exactly helping her threatening stance. “If they fear, then they listen. Then we dont worry about someone getting hurt if they know there will be painful consequences. Isn't that how you Templars control their mages?”

Cullen widened his eyes briefly and he stepped back. “You know that's not-”

“ _Don't I?_ After all I lived in the Circle for 4 years, I saw Templars day in and day out. You say you aren’t a part of the Order anymore but you still carry yourself like one.” She closed the distance between them once again. “You forget _Commander_ , a Templar tried to kill me twice,” she growled and moved her red robe to expose the scar he had left those years ago. His face softened and she felt her fight leave her body. “I knew one pure hearted Templar and _he's dead._ So don't tell me it's not true. All the good ones are gone.” Tears burned in her eyes and she turned to leave. “Come along da’len,” she whispered and the girl quickly followed.

Melody led her to her tent, hidden away from everyone. The girl didn't look at her and she crouched down before her, meeting her fearful bright eyes. “Where are your parents,” she asked softly and the girl shook her head, sniffling. _Wrong question._ “We... We were heading to Redcliffe for protection and there was a fight... They told me to run s-so I did. They said they would meet me there but they never came.” She looked at the mage with tearful eyes. “They're dead aren't they?”

Melody felt her heart break and she placed a hand on the girls shoulder, her words failing her. She bit her lip and closed her eyes to stave off the tears. She didn't want to lie to her. “They... They may be.” The girl nodded and her tears began to fall. Melody folded her into her arms and held her as she cried. She held her tightly until she felt her still. The girls eyes had started to flutter close. She glanced down and saw a bruise had formed on her arm and she frowned. “ _Da’len_ , what is your name?”

“Lathinhalei,” she said softly and rubbed her eyes. She chuckled and moved away from the girl. “Well Lathinhalei, in case you didn't know, My name is Melody. Can I take a look at your arm,” she said and gently took the girls arm after she nodded. “How do you know Elvhen? You don't look like an elf?”

“I've traveled a lot before becoming the Herald,” she explained. “I stayed with a group of elves for a little bit after... I got hurt.” She closed her eyes, choosing not to relive that memory. “I picked up a few things.”

“Oh. Do you know any others?” The girl looked at her with curious eyes.

“Words? Or languages?”

“Lang’ages.” She chuckled and nodded. “Some Orlesian. A little Tevene.” The girls eyes lit up and she smiled brightly. “Can you teach me?”

“Perhaps some day.” After glancing it over and feeling to make sure nothing was broken, she lifted her hand. She got ready to heal it but remembered Solas' warning and stopped. “I have a friend I would like you to meet. Is that okay?”

The girl nodded and Melody stood. “Stay right here and I'll be right back.”

She wandered through the camp, ignoring the stares and murmurs. She walked towards the edge of camp where she knew the elf would be. Solas looked up at her from his book and smiled. “Lady Trevelyan, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Solas, you know you can call me Melody right? It's not a secret anymore. Also, no longer allowed to be a Lady? Mage remember?”

“Ah yes. How could I forget,” he chuckled and closed his book. She sighed and motioned for him to follow. “You said I can't use magic correct?”

“Ahh yes. You haven't been following though have you,” his voice chastised her and she shrugged. “Well good thing I asked for you huh? There was an incident earlier and a refugee child was injured. I would like you to take a look at her.” Solas face became very solemn and nodded. 

Melody approached her tent and heard a deeper voice inside, causing her to pause. She ripped the flap open and saw Lathinhalei sitting on her bedroll and Varric standing across the tent from her. She exhaled softly and moved in, Solas on her heels. 

“Ahh there you are Songbird. I was beginning to wonder where you went.”

“Yes here I am Varric. I'll talk to you in a moment,” she said maybe a little too sharply because the dwarf frowned. She relaxed and patted his shoulder before moving to the side to let Solas over. “Lathinhalei this is Solas, he's going to make your arm feel better okay?” The elf girl nodded and showed Solas where the mark was. She saw him frown at the handprint shaped bruise and mutter something in elvhen that she didn't know as he healed her. 

“There we go _da’len,_ ” he said cheerfully. The girl smiled up at him. “‘Ma serannas,” she squeaked and he chuckled. Melody touched his shoulder and smiled. He nodded and left the tent. She turned to Varric who was waiting patiently beside her. “I'll meet you outside?”

“Sure Songbird, just don't keep me waiting.”

She nodded and crouched next to the girl, who was yawning and rubbing her eyes. “Why don't you lay down Lathinhalei? I'll be right outside.”

“But where will you sleep,” she asked sleepily but laid down nonetheless. She smiled and shook her head. “I'll be fine. Just get some rest.”

She stayed long enough to see the girls breathing evening out then quietly slipped out. Varric waited for her just as he said and they moved closer to the fire. “So, heard you and Curly got into it?”

“Varric please no...”

“Just hear me out,” he stopped and looked at her as she sat. “He's changed a lot from Kirkwall you know. He's not the same person.”

“I know-”

“Evidently you don't know Melody, otherwise you wouldn't have thrown that in his face,” he snapped and she felt herself flinch at her name. He never snapped at her and hardly ever used her name.

She lowered her eyes to the ground and sighed. “He treats me like I'm still in the Circle Varric. Like I'm one of his charges. I'm trying to forgive him, I really am. But then he treats me like that and...”

Varric sighed and patted her shoulder. “I know Songbird but you need to learn to let go. You both have grown up a lot. The Melody I knew would never stare down a Tevinter Magister, much less a Templar. Yet you've done both those things.” 

“You don't know what he took from me,” she whispered and dug her hands into the dirt and stared into the fire. Varric remained quiet as they watched it crackle and pop. Finally he sighed. 

“I'm just saying... don't be too hard on him. He's not the same person. He just found out someone was alive after _you_ told everyone she was dead. He is, understandably, upset. He's basically seeing a ghost.” She didn't reply and he sighed, standing up and returning to his tent for the night. She sat outside and watched the fire burn and that's where Varric found her the following morning, curled into a ball with a wool blanket draped over her shoulders.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Small Panic attack and moment of suicidal thoughts. Its nothing in debt or graphic but get a pre reader if you are worried. Stay safe loves <3

Melody awoke after that first night curled up outside the dead fire just before sunrise. Some soldiers were starting to stir as well as some of the older mages. She didn't know who covered her up but she was thankful. She stood up slowly and stretched, balling up the blanket instead of folding it. 

She remembered the girl in her tent and tiptoed over quietly, afraid to wake her. However when she opened the flap, her heart stuttered when she saw the girl missing. She wheeled around and began to run through camp. In the few moments she had been with her, she felt at least semi responsible for the girl. Every bad scenario ran through her head as she tore through camp. She checked the wagons to make sure she hadn’t climbed back onto one, the edges of camp to make sure she didn't wander off. Groaning after not seeing her or hearing her, she took off towards the one tent she was dreading.

“Commander I need your-”

She stopped as she ripped open the flap of his tent.  Lathinhalei sat on his cot with a bread roll in her hand, smiling up at her. Cullen sat in a chair across from her. He had some reports in his hand but his face turned firm, turning into his usual commander stare and he rose slightly. “Herald? Is everything okay?”

She raised her hand to put him at ease and turned to the girl, releasing the breath she didn't know she held. “Lathenhalei, I was looking for you. You weren't in my tent,” she said softly but still maintained her firmness.

The girl looked down guiltily and Melody sighed, crouching down in front of her. “I-I had a bad dream,” she whispered and now Melody felt guilty. “I went to find out and I saw you were sleeping by the fire. You looked like you were having one too.”

Melody felt herself still and hold her breath. Her dreams hadn't been particularly gentle with her last night, either her killing a certain commander, a former lover berating her, or watching her entire family slaughtered by red templars. It seemed to drag on forever even though it only lasted a few hours. 

“I wanted to protect you like you did me,” the girl continued, “So I sat by you for a while then Commander came by and covered you up and offered to let me sleep here. Said we could watch you from the tent.” 

Melody glanced back at the commander whose face was bright red and he was rubbing the back of his neck. She sighed and put her hands on the girls shoulder. “Next time, just wake me up. Even if I'm... having a bad dream,” she paused and closed her eyes to still her rolling stomach as she thought about her night. “I just want to be sure you are safe.”

“Okay Herald,” the girl chirped. Then she turned her blue eyes towards her. “What was your dream about?”

Melody stilled and she almost told her, in a watered down version, about the demons haunting her. She almost forgot about the ex-templar in the tent.  _ Almost.  _ Instead she shook her head and put a fake smile on. “Just something that happened. Now come along, we need to start packing up camp.” The girl slid off the cot and turned to Cullen, chirping out a thanks which earned her a smile from the man.

Melody let her pass her and paused when she felt amber eyes staring at him. She turned and looked at the man, who looked tired in his own right. “Get some sleep Commander. I'll stall them,” she whispered and he opened his mouth but she stopped him. “And... thank you.” She slipped out of the tent and thought she heard a soft  _ you're welcome. _

~~~

The rest of the trip was long back to Haven but it went off with very little issue. It took almost two weeks between everyone walking and having to stop for camp. Lathenhalei,  _ Halei  _ as she insisted on being called, rode on her horse with her, not really trusting anyone else with her. Not that she minded. She was like a little sister to her, and stuck by her unless Cullen was around. She never had to go far if she noticed she had disappeared. 

He never seemed to mind, even letting ride with him a couple times. A day before they reached Haven the poor girl had been so exhausted from not sleeping the night before- “more bad dreams” she had told Melody as she worked on some reports- she fell asleep leaning back on his chest. Melody couldn't help but giggle at the sight and even Cullen had a small smirk. She had slipped her cloak off and laid it over the girl. 

“I could of given her mine,” he muttered and she just shook her head. 

“You’d just wake her up. It's easier this way.”

He nodded and stared ahead. She sighed inwardly and rubbed her own eyes, feeling the lack of sleep creeping up. Cullen looked at her and frowned. 

“Have you been sleeping Herald?”

“I... uh... yes?” She tried to sound convincing but she knew it hadn’t worked. Cullen shook his head, his frown remaining. 

“You will need your sleep.”

“No shit Commander. You think I chose to not sleep?” Her tone came out sharper than intended and the commander took a deep breath and sighed. “No. No I don't. But avoiding sleep to avoid what plagues you will do no one any justice if you're dead.”

She chuckled and shook her head. “I don't want to argue Commander. We have done enough of that on this trip. But maybe you should take your own advice.”

It was his turn to chuckle and shrugged. “Well perhaps you are right.”

She nodded and nudged her horse forward, to scout ahead. Cullen hated when she did it, worried she would get into trouble without any help but sure enough she was waiting up ahead, leaned over on her saddle to give her horse some gentle rubs. It continued like this the rest of the way to Haven.

~~~ 

She dismounted from her horse, helping Halei down shortly after. “Stay with me for a moment. I have some things I need to take care of.”

The girl nodded and took a look around as they walked through the gates of Haven. She didn't see Cullen which means he was already meeting with the leaders in the Chantry.  _ Lovely _ . She met with Cassandra who immediately began questioning when they were to take care of the Breach. 

She shrugged and glanced down at the elf girl trailing her, staring up at the sky. “How old are you Halei?” She realized she hadn't even asked that.

“I’m eight!” Her voice was full of wonder as she glanced around camp.  _ She's so young.  _ Her arm wrapped around her shoulder in a protective manner. 

“You kind of remind me of Mama,” she whispered which brought her to a near stop. “You use the same words that she did when I'm upset. I know it... it won't bring her back. Or Pa. But I like to think she sent you to me so I would be safe.” Melody felt her eyes burn with tears and she blinked rapidly and swallowed a lump down before speaking. 

“Well I could never be your mother. But how about like a big sister?”

She lit up instantly and nodded. “I've never had a big sister. I think you would make a good one.” Her heart stuttered as she thought of her own sister, long dead and gone.  _ I had the best mentor. _

The girl clung to her side as they approached the Chantry where she could hear a man arguing. She sighed and glanced at the girl and woman pushing the door open.  _ Of course we couldn't wait to argue. _

Of course when she walked in, Leliana turned on her. “They have been mistreated enough! Why continue to mistreat them?” Melodys eyes opened wide and she stared at the group. Cullen spoke up before she could form any words.

“It's not mistreating them to take a reasonable precaution!”

Josephine was the next to speak out. “Whatever you call it, the situation with the mages is likely to deteriorate and escalate much like the Circles did.”

“ _ Enough,” _ Melody hissed and became reminded of the child who now clung to her leg. She crouched down and resumed her usual position in front of her. “Halei why don't you go outside and wait for me?” The girls eyes widened and she quickly shook her head, fear apparently evident. 

She sighed and gave her a smile. “I promise you will be fine. No one would dare to hurt you here. I just need to have a meeting with my... friends, then I will show you our cabin.”  _ Our cabin _ . She didn't even think about where she would sleep, but knew she wouldn't be comfortable without her nearby.

“Okay Herald,” she whispered and Melody shook her head. “You can call me Melody.”

“What... What about sister?” She stilled and nodded. “Yes, or sister.”

“How do you say it,” her eyes were curious and Melody frowned, wondering just how much she knew of her heritage. “Asa’ma’lin.”

_ “Asa’ma’lin. _ Got it.” She scampered towards the open door, repeating the word over and over again.  _ I'll need to talk to Solas. _ The Herald stood up and turned towards the group. Leliana was again the first to tear into her. 

“What did you think you were doing, taking the mages prisoner? Especially when you, yourself are a mage?”  _ Cullen must have told her in his report. _

“They needed to be punished. They allied themselves with the enemy Leliana, a  _ Tevinter Magister _ . They seized Redcliffe and could have cost us any alliance with Ferelden.” She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose and spoke in a quieter voice. “Plus they are susceptible to possession. The veil is weaker right now with that Breach. They are taking terrible risks to close the Breach.” Memories of Kinloch tried to force their way up but she shoved them down. 

“And we offer them no incentive. They will rebel again.” 

Melody groaned and rubbed her head, pacing back and forth. “They will not be mistreated by the Inquisition while they are here. It'll be better than any Circle.”

Her words apparently fell on deaf ears and Leliana turned to Cassandra. “How could you go along with this?”

“At the time I saw no better solution. I don't suppose you have one now,” she said through gritted teeth. Apparently even the Right Hand was getting tired of this. “The sole purpose was to gain the mages aid, which was accomplished.”

“Thank you Cassandra,” Melody breathed out. She was apparently holding her breath again and didn't know it.

“The voice of pragmatism speaks. And here I was just starting to enjoy circular arguments.”

Melody smiled and motioned the mage over, her hand sliding around his waist. “So nice of you to join us darling.”

“I am glad to see you standing upright my dear. You gave me quite a scare.” He had a smile but she could see the worry on his face.

“Aww the Tevinter magister was worried for little ol’ me? I'm touched,” she teased and shook her left arm that still didn't have feeling back.

“ _ Altus  _ dear. Also you literally cut a chunk out of your arm. If anything 

i'm concerned about your head being all there.”

The groups eyes fell on her and she looked down. “I.. uh- At the time I wasn't exactly in the best mind, i'll admit.” 

Everyone remained quiet for a minute or two before Cassandra spoke. “Closing the Breach is all that matters right now.”

“We'll need lyrium. And lots of it. I have some contacts. Let me send them a letter and we will have what we need.”

Leliana looked at her curiously. “Contacts meaning smugglers? Just what were you into Melody? Such a good girl to turn to smugglers.”

“Being naïve gets you killed. I had to grow up. ” Her voice was dark and Leliana nodded. 

“Send the letters. We need every advantage.”

Cullen frowned and shook his head. “We have legitimate supply lines already!”

Melody rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “And they don't need to hear of this. The more we have the better.”

“Keep it under the table. I'll do what I can to keep down the rumors,” Josephine whispered. 

Leliana nodded and lowered her voice as well. “We need to discuss what you saw in the red future. Your report was... unclear.” Melody groaned. Dorian squeezed her side as encouragement and she swallowed the growing lump.

“Well when we got there there was red lyrium.  _ Everywhere.  _ We found Bull who told us Empress Celene had been assassinated and in the confusion, a demon army attacked from the south. Then Cassandra.” She spoke softly with her eyes closed to remember the details.

“We found the Grand Enchanter... She was entombed in red lyrium. Apparently if you are near it for a long time, you become it. Then they... harvest your body.” She shuddered and heard Dorian whisper something to her that she didn't catch.. 

“We... we found Leliana next.” She left out the condition she was in and pushed on. “We made it to the main hall and found a locked door. It was powered by lyrium shards. We went and found the advisors.” Her breaths were coming out in pants and her throat began to close up. “Stay with us Melody,” Dorian whispered and rubbed her side, bringing her back. He knew what was coming up.

“We... We killed 4 of them. Then... we found...” Her throat felt like a vice grip and her body began to tremble as she remembered the blade burying itself in his stomach. The warm sticky liquid flowing over her hand and arm. His red and amber eyes, full of pain. The words he whispered.  _ His touch. _

_ Touch. _

“Melody, breathe sweetheart,” a far off voice whispered. She felt a hand on her cheek but it wasn't his warm one, it was chilly. Not calloused but smooth and manicured. Her eyes opened to Dorian sitting on the floor in front of her. When did she end up on the floor? She blinked and realized her face was wet. She was crying. “A Knight-Captain. He had red lyrium jutting out of his body and his sword was covered in it.” 

She scrambled up, ignoring Dorians hand. “When we fought. I went to block his swing and I managed to cut my arm open on his sword as I struck the killing blow.” She stared at the now mostly healed wound on her arm.  _ Just another ugly scar.  _ She took a deep breath. “I... wasn't in the best mindset after the fight. I react to red lyrium... badly. The wound had...  _ a lot _ of shards in it. So I felt it was best to just...” she made a slicing motion with her other hand. Everyone was silent for a moment. 

“Are you stupid?” Cullen finally growled.

“Cullen-” Josephine was cut off.

“No! No this needs to be said,” he was yelling now and she felt Dorian stiffen at her side.

“What would you have done if you had lost your arm? How would we close the Breach? Do you realize how  _ stupid and reckless _ -”

“It was better than becoming one of those things!” She was yelling now too and had pulled away from Dorian, her panic attack now forgotten. “You werent there Cullen! You didn't see what I had to see!”

“You should never of been there either! You should have just gone to the Templars!”

“Why, because  _ you  _ say so? Because you're a Templar? Because I'm a mage and I should listen to you?”

“ _ Yes exactly _ !” They both froze at the words, staring at each other. Melody narrowed her eyes and moved forward in a flash, her wrist flicking a throwing dagger just past his shoulder and into the Chantry wall. His mouth was in a tight line but his eyes were wide.

“You forget who I am  _ Ser Knight _ ,” she sneered and marched towards him. She reached over his shoulder to grab the dagger, ripping it out of the wall. “I am  _ not _ one of your charges. I am an apostate. One who traveled with the Hero of Ferelden and with the Champion of Kirkwall. I trained under 2  _ very  _ powerful mages, and a blood magic.” His face paled slightly and she felt herself smirk. “I lived in Val Royeaux and trained to be a rogue so I would be able to protect myself without magic.” She let the knife trace over his cheek before putting it away. Then she sighed and met his gaze, her purple eyes blazing. 

“I used to think there was still good in you Cullen. Now I know I should have let Anders kill you in Kirkwall. Maker knows I couldn't.”

“L-Lady Herald?”

“ _ What,”  _ she snarled and the messenger visibly shrank back. “T-There is a man here for you. W-Well two men here. We tried t-to tell them they had to wait b-but they wouldn't listen.”

“You let two men in the village without asking who they are or what they wanted?!” She turned towards the scout and he jumped back. Dorian placed his hand on her back and she willed herself to take a deep breath. Calmer she looked at the leaders. Cullens grip on his pommel hadn’t lessened and he looked as if he was ready to pounce at any moment. Cassandra and Leliana watched her with calculated eyes and poor Josephines face was several shades lighter. “We close the Breach in 3 days time.” They all nodded and she closed her eyes to calm herself. Her mouth and eyes opened to apologize, mainly for the ambassadors sake, but a deeper voice took her spot.

“Here I thought they were mistaken, there's no way a Trevelyan could be a  _ Herald of Andraste.  _ Yet when I hear a roaring voice from the gates I know it must be true.” She stilled and closed her eyes.

“Please don't be here,” she whispered.

Another voice spoke and the bile rose in her throat. “It seems at that time away from us has done nothing for your mouth, little one.  _ Modest in Temper...” No... _

_ “Bold in Deed,”  _ she chanted with him and opened her eyes. She turned around to see the two men looking back at her. Her lips grew tight at the sight of the two men in front of her, nearly spitting images of each other. The younger males hair was more sloppy, flopped over to one side while the older males was slicked back. Wrinkles pulled at the skin around his eyes, yet he didn't look old. His emerald green eyes showed no emotion but the man beside twinkled excitedly.  _ They can't really be here. _

“If this is some cruel trick...” she found her throat growing tight with emotion, her eyes growing yet. This was like her last nightmare before she swore off sleep. The men looked at her with confusion. “Melody...”

“No don't say my name,” her voice came out barely above as tears rolled down her face. Cullen moved forward to question the men and she felt the spring snap. She turned around and placed herself between them and Cullen, her eyes wide with fear. He stepped back, holding his hands up. He recognized the look as one he's seen in the mirror. 

“Announce yourself,” he called.

“Bann Nathan Leroy Trevelyan of Ostwick,” the older man said and she felt herself sink inside. “Noah Leroy Trevelyan of Ostwick,” the younger boy called out and she shook her head with her eyes closed. Cullen frowned at the sight of their Herald, who just moments before threatened his life, and he began to wonder how bad her dreams must be.

Seeing she wasn't relaxing anytime soon, Cullen looked at the men and glared. “Our Herald has many enemies. She clearly isn't comfortable with your words. What is one thing you and you alone would know.”

Melody looked up at him with wide eyes and relaxed more, tilting her head.  _ This never happened in a dream before.  _ He moved forward and this time she didn't flinch.

“Demons only know what you do,” he whispered and her eyes snapped up to his amber eyes.  _ What would he know about- _

“We cried for days after you were taken to the Circle,” the older man said softly. “We never wanted you to go little one. Your mother was heartbroken, we all were.”

Her heart stopped and she shook her head. “You were ashamed of me!”

“No never Melody. I could never be ashamed of you,” her father called and moved forward but she took a step back, bumping into Cullen. Her heart froze and she closed her eyes. The roles were reversed now. She was now at the mercy of her demons. “If you were going to kill me, then do it quickly. I can't do this anymore demon,” she whispered to him and closed her eyes to wait for the pain. It never came. Instead the commander was in front of her with wide, fearful eyes blocking the view of her family. 

“Melody you are not dreaming. You are not in the Fade. This is all real. I am not going to hurt you and neither are they.” His whisper was urgent and almost... pleading. She frowned and looked at him before the weight of his words hit her. 

_ This. was. Real.  _ There was no demon. No sulfur. She was awake. They were  _ real. _ She pushed Cullen aside and ran forward, nearly tackling her father as she hugged him. Her tears now flowed freely as he hugged her, her brother behind her engulfing them in the hug.

She was faintly aware of the fading footsteps around her but she didn't care. She took in her fathers orange and cardamom scent mixed with her brothers sandalwood and sea salt. Feelings and scents that she never thought she'd feel again. She sniffled and pulled away from them to look at them again.  _ They were real. _

“Asa’ma’lin?” A small voice called and she quickly pulled away, waving over the girl. “Over here  _ da’len.”  _

She ran over to her and began showing her a flower she found outside the Chantry when she was waiting. She was acutely aware of her father and brother watching with wide eyes. Melody quickly shushed the girl and turned her towards her family. She apparently didn't realize she interrupted anything because now she was extremely timid. 

“Halei, I want you to meet some people,” she said slowly, worried how she would take it. Her brother knelt down in front of her, his green eyes sparkling. “Hi there Halei. My name is Noah.” Halei shrank back behind Melody which made her chuckle. “Halei this is my big brother.”

“You have a big brother?” Now she was warming up and came out from behind her. She nodded and crouched beside her. “Sure do. Two in fact.” 

She pointed up at her father and took a deep breath. “And that's my father.” He hadn't moved from his spot, still watching the two. The girl seemed more scared of him and she worried she would try to hide again. Then he moved to crouch beside Noah and smiled softly. “Hi Halei, Im Nathan.” He held out his hand and he kissed her knuckle which made her giggle. Then she turned her head to look up at Melody.

“Do you have a big sister too?” Melody froze and closed her eyes, the lump forming in her throat. Luckily Noah spoke up before she did. “She does but she's with the Maker now.” She didn't miss the tears shining in his own eyes, or her fathers.

“Oh like Mama and Pa?” She smiled through the pain and nodded, the lump going away. “Exactly.” 

“Okay.” She paused for a moment then frowned. “Can we get food Melody? I'm hungry.”

The men laughed and Melody couldn't help but join in. “Of course. Lets go to the Tavern and see what Flissa is serving today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have hit 20 chapters and I am curious how everyone is feeling about the story so far?
> 
> Also Im using FenxShirals Project Elvhen: Expanding the Elvhen language because im just in love with it!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Implied child loss. Nothing graphic or close. Just a sentence but it got me thinking about my own loss so I know what just one seemingly harmless line can do. Its the last line of her conversation with Leliana so you can prepapre according and skip if needed. Stay safe loves <3
> 
> Name of the songs used in the tavern: (All by Miracle of Sound because I absolutely love Gav and his music)
> 
> Melodys song when requested to sing: The Call  
> Rylens Song: Skellige Wind  
> Melodys/Fathers song: Lilac and Violet

The tavern was noisier than most nights, since the mages arrived. Everyone seemed to quiet down when Melody walked in but she waved them on and it returned to normal. After she made sure Halei was fed, she sent her off to the cabin to lay down. The sky was getting dark and she knew the following day would be busy so she didn't want to stay out too late herself. Her father and brother made their way to the guest cabin to relax so she was alone again. Which didn't sit well with her. She found Varric, Bull and Dorian at a table in the back and she slid back behind them. 

“Hey Songbird! Glad you finally decided to join us!” Varric raised his mug up to her and she laughed to herself, plopping down in her chair with a groan. 

“Aww rough day my dear?”

“Dorian don't even,” she glared before a laugh bubbled out. “I'm suppose to be a hope figure yet I nearly shit myself when seeing my family and have tried to attack the Commander twice.”

“Sounds like you need to get laid boss. I could help with that.”

“Bull, I like my body without a gaping hole in it.” The group began laughing and she found herself following suit. Varric pushed a glass towards her and she frowned before he spoke up. 

“Trust me. Its whiskey.” She smiled and took a sip, enjoying the burn as it traveled down her throat. “Aww, you remembered Varric.”

“Only the best for you.” She rolled her eyes and turned around when she heard the door open. Rylen walked in with a couple of she soldiers and she felt her smile grow. “Hey Rylen!”

The Templar looked at her and smiled, saying something to his group before making his way over to her. “Rylen I'm sorry-”

He waved his hand and smiled. “I had it comin’ lass. Should ‘ave said no a long time ago.”

“You never should of been put in that position-”

“Its _fine_ lass. As I said, should've stopped a long time ago. Hes my friend and it was wrong.”

She smiled and nodded, taking another sip of her drink. “Join us for a drink?”

He smiled briefly then frowned. “I cant, I'm meeting the Commander.” She giggled and shrugged. “Fine I was going to buy you a drink but since you don't want to hang out-”

“Wait wait. I could never turn down an offer from a beautiful lady. Just one though.”

Dorian looked at her with an eyebrow raised while Varric nudged Bull with knowing eyes. “Watch the master work.” She glared at the dwarf before getting up to get their drinks. 

The door opened while she was getting their drinks and she closed her eyes, the scent of elderflower and oakmoss drifting in. She felt a hand on her hip and turned to reprimand the person but only found Rylen with apologetic smile. “My date awaits lass,” he apologized and she pouted. Cullen had walked up to them and looked at her curiously.

“ _Fiiiiiine_ I _guess_ the commander can take you from me,” she whined which earned her a chuckle from the soldier. “Will I see you later?”

“Don't get drunk and you just might. Be a good girl and go back with your friends now.” He waved her away and she rolled her eyes.

“ _Yes ser._ ” She kissed his cheek and skipped off towards her group, Bulls laugh ringing out as she tripped over a stool and nearly falling on her face. Cullen shook his head and looked at his

friend who was still watching the Herald as she walked away.

“Makers breath not you too.”

Rylen frowned and looked at him briefly. “I don't know what your talkin’ about Cullen.”

“You're trying to sleep with her.”

Rylen chuckled and took a drink of the ale, shaking his head. “Sex is distracting to her. She needs distracted. If I can take her away from that, even for a few hours, it'd be worth it.” He shrugged and waved over Flissa to order his commanders drink. “Besides, I owe it to her. She saved me in Starkhaven.”

It was Cullens turn frown as he sipped his drink. “She went to Starkhaven?”

“Aye. She was just a lost little girl then. Well not girl but you could see it in her eyes. She didn't know where she was really. Just stumbling around. I had one too many drinks one night and found myself on the losing end of the brawl.” He chuckled to himself. “Then this young girl, with a huge scar across her chest, comes out of nowhere and decks this guy in the mouth.” 

Cullen frowned at the mention of the scar but didn't say anything, just took a deeper gulp of his ale.

“Naturally the guy comes after her and Knight-Captain Bailey just storms in and demands to know what was going on. Poor girl was terrified and tried to run. Didn't know she was a mage then of course.”

Cullen nodded and set his mug down. “So what happened?”

Rylen laughed and shook his head. “Well she managed to always avoid him whenever patrols were sent out. He was an uptight prick anyway. And I always managed to get some... alone time... with her.” He stopped and smiled. “Then one day she disappeared and I was promoted. He went missing himself and they blamed her for his disappearance.”

Cullens stomach dropped and he gripped his mug tighter. “Did they ever find him?”

His friend chuckled and nodded. “I ran into him here in Haven before...” He motioned to the area around them. Cullens eyes widened and he choked on his ale. “You never said anything!”

Rylen shrugged and shook his head. “Man was in love. Couldn't fault him for that. He may of been a prick but I had never seen him so happy. He deserved more.”

Cullen shook his head and downed the rest of his drink. “What became of him?” He knew the answer since there weren't very many Templars here, just the ones he brought and a few survivors.

He sighed and set his drink down. “He died in the blast.”

“I'm sorry. Did we ever inform her?”

"From what I was told, she was the one who found him." Cullen tilted his head and Rylen laughed sadly and motioned across the bar and realization dawned on him. “Shes our Herald.”

~~~

Melody stumbled out of the bar, realizing she drank too much. Rylen had fallen in with their group after Cullen hurried out of the bar. He was chastising her on it but she ignored him, working on not spilling her guts. “I'm sorry I ruined your night,” she hiccuped and he laughed at her. 

“Lass you did not ruin anything. You deserve to get drunk at least once in a while.”

“But we cant _play_ now,” she whined and let her hand slide down his side which he promptly grabbed with a hearty laugh. “There will be time later lass I promise. Lets get you home.”

“I bet he hates me,” she sniffled and he realized at some point she started crying. 

“No one here hates your darlin’. You're just drunk.”

“Cullen does. He's the one who did this ya know?” She pointed at the scar he knew too well on her chest. He stilled and felt his grip on her tighten. “In Kirkwall. I thought he was still a good guy. Like he was in the Circle. But apparently he's too damaged. Maybe I'm too damaged.” He remained silent and she continued.

“When Darren and I came here, I was scared when I saw you. Thought you would take him away from me. But you didn't. This stupid thing did.” She waved her left hand around and he frowned as they reached her door. She sighed and looked at him with tear filled eyes.

“I miss him Rylen. I miss him so much.” She finally broke down and he folded her into his arms, gently shushing her. Wouldn't this be a sight if someone were to come out? He let her go until she finally sniffed and pulled away. She swayed on her feet slightly and he moved her chin so she could look directly at him.

“Listen to me lass. Cullen does not hate you. If anything he fears you considering you kicked his ass.” She smirked and quickly tried to look away but he kept a firm grip on her chin. “You need to just quit being so rash and think before you speak and act. No one here is out to get you and Maker be damned if anyone tries.” He leaned forward and planted a kiss on her forehead and tapped her cheek. “Go get some rest. You're training with the mages tomorrow and you'll want to be at your best.”

She groaned and turned to walk inside. “Thank you Rylen,” she whispered with sudden clarity. He smiled and gave her a small salute before turning and leaving for his tent.

~~~

Cullen watched the soldiers as they broke off into their small drill groups. He knew he had reports to write, requisitions to review but he wanted to make sure his men were at the top of their game. They could afford no mistakes.

He looked off in the distance to where the mages had been practicing. They had been up early, though not as early as his recruits. Melody had been out there with them, leading them in different exercises. She looked... natural. Like she had been doing it all her life.

She used to be so timid in the Circle. He overheard Greagior telling Irving to just make her Tranquil instead of waiting for her Harrowing. They still don't know how she managed to pass. She hardly ever used her magic. Now she almost embraced it, working with the younger mages with such patience. _She could have been a Senior Enchanter_ he thought softly. If she had stayed at the Circle though, would she have died? Would he have been the one to kill her?

“Commander?”

He jumped at the voice and turned to face Melody, rubbing the back of his neck. “Herald, I'm sorry I was... distracted.”

“Seems to happen a lot doesn't it?” She smiled slightly. 

He chuckled and glanced around. She stared at her feet, shuffling some of the snow.

“I wanted to-”

“About yesterday-”

They chuckled awkwardly at each other's interruptions and he motioned for her to speak.

“I just wanted to say I'm sorry about yesterday. And everyday before that. I'm... having a hard time seeing you,” she said slowly without meeting his eyes. “We used to be so... _close_ and then when I left the Circle I didn't expect to see you again. Then I did and it was like living a nightmare over again.” She took a shuddering breath and looked up to him. “Then I come here, find out I lost someone else that protected me, and see you all over again. I'm just... afraid of another repeat.” 

Cullen stared at her, his mouth opening but no words coming out. For a moment, it was like they were at the circle again, she the timid mage and him the shy templar. _She was actually afraid of him._ He did this. 

“Anyway I just wanted you to know...” She turned to walk away.

“Wait,” he called softly, grabbing her arm to stop her and instantly pulling back. She looked at him curiously and tilted her head.

“I should apologize too. It's my fault you even feel like this. I wasn't... all there after the Circle and seeing you in Kirkwall it... brought a lot of feelings that I had buried up.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, closing his eyes. “And what I said yesterday. I don't think mages should fear Templars. I believe there should be safeguards in place so we don't have a repeat of... then.” 

She nodded and crossed her arms, biting her lip. “I don't think you're bad Cullen. I know what I said yesterday... But I don't. Rylen helped me a lot... Then Darren,” she paused and he saw her swallow like she was holding back tears. “Darren showed me that all templars were not bad. We came to The Conclave in hopes of getting people to see that we can live in harmony.” She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. It took every ounce of resolve to not gather her up in his arms.

“For someone who claims to hate templars, you seem to find yourself in the arms of them.” It was his turn to turn red and cover his mouth. “Makers breath i'm sorry. I didn't mean-”

“It's fine Cullen,” she whispered and smiled. “I don't... hate templars. I hate what the Order has become. I've been hurt one too many times.” she paused to brush her hair away from her face. “Anyways, I also wanted to say thank you. For yesterday. Talking me down. It's weird. I'm a mage and I didn't even think about that. And I deal with demons nightly.” She froze and covered her mouth, realizing what she said. 

He frowned and uncrossed his arms, but couldn't erase the worry on his face. “Those bad dreams Halei said you've been having then...”

She sighed and glanced around making sure no one was around. “Yes. I think it had a lot to do with the Breach.” She was lying but she couldn't tell him the darker truth. He nodded and glanced, a worried expression on his face. “You don't think...”

“No,” she said quickly. “I'm not worried about anyone else but myself. I think the mark attracts them.” He nodded and looked more relieved. She smiled and gently shoved his shoulder. “Besides, we've survived worse things than a couple demons in my sleep.” He chuckled but they both knew what she was referring to. She sighed and looked into the small town. “I should go. I need to talk to Leliana.” Her voice was full of worry and he patted her shoulder. 

“It'll be fine.”

“Yeah well you didn't leave your lovers arms right before a major battle because you didn't want to see her die.” She scuffed the group. “Anyways I'm sure you have work to do.”

He got ready to argue, say anything to get her to stay a moment longer, but crunching snow behind him took away his moment.

“Commander! Ser Rylen has a report on our supply lines!” 

_Damn Rylen._

“He has a habit of coming at the most inconvenient times,” she quipped and he found himself growing red, choking on saliva in his mouth. She let out a barking laugh, nearly doubling over in laughter. She finally caught her breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. He cleared his throat, his hand returning to its spot on his neck.

“I take it you had a good time last night then?”

She grinned and shrugged. “I'll have you know _ser,_ Rylen is a perfect gentleman and wouldn't touch me except to help me to my cabin. I was quite... intoxicated.” He shook his head with a light chuckle and shrugged. “I wouldn't expect anything less.”

She stopped before walking away. “Ya know, we are all meeting at the tavern later tonight. One last get together before we close the Breach. You in?”

“I uh-”

“I won't take no for an answer,” she said with her head held high. 

“Then I have no choice, do i?”

“I suppose not.” She gave him a mock bow and sauntered off towards the Chantry. He couldn't help that his eyes followed her waist.

~~~

Melody stood outside of the spymasters tent, listening to her give orders to one of her scouts.

“You know what must be done. Make it quick, painless. We were friends once.”

Melody sighed and leaned against the post of the tent. “Glad to see traitors are dealt with quickly”

Leliana turned to face the Herald, her face not showing any emotion. She looked so much colder than she remembered her. 

“We must do what it takes to protect our interests.”

“Well don't let me get on your bad side.”

“Shouldn't I be saying that to you?” Melody flinched and looked down. “Leliana, I-”

“You don't need to apologize Melody,” her voice was clear, a hand held up to stop her. “You're not the same girl you were during the Blight. I'm hardly the same either.” Melody frowned and shook her head. 

“Still I should never-”

“Stop.” It was clear and she quickly closed her mouth. “You never should have been out there. You were basically a child.”

“Elise was only-”

“She was almost 20 and a _Warden_. You had just finished your Harrowing before the Circle fell. If it wasn't for Wynne teaching you on the road, who knows what could have happened.” Melody looked at the ground. Leliana walked towards her and put her hands on her shoulder.

“You are an adult now and from what I saw, you can take care of yourself.” She stepped back and clasped her hands in front of her. “Now, I trust there will be no more issues between you and the Commander? I don't want to have to intervene next time.”

“No- no more issues.”

Leliana let a smile form on her face. “Good. Now then, what have you been up to. Ten years is a long time to not see anyone.”

Melody smiled and sat on one of the trunks in the tent. “Well I traveled to Kirkwall first. Met Hawke and traveled with her for a while.” She got quiet for a moment and shrugged. “Then I went to Starkhaven for a little bit. Traveled to Val Royeaux and stayed there for a few years. Then came back to Ferelden for The Conclave.” Leliana nodded as she listened and smiled.

“I see. So no details on your trips?”

“What do you want me to say Leliana,” she laughed lightly and shook her head. “Do you want to hear how I left the man I love in Kirkwall just to find out he was killed by my best friend? How many times I nearly died in Starkhaven before Darren saved me? How many times I nearly died after we left Val Royeaux?” She shrugged and looked down. “There isn't much to tell.”

“Tell me about your Templar, Darren.”

She smiled and kicked around a pebble. “What is there to tell about him? He was sweet. Caring. He matched my temper,” she laughed at herself. “He had the most beautiful eyes. Like... Like pieces of glass smoothed by a rushing river. It sounds cheesy I know-”

“No he sounds wonderful,” Leliana said with a soft sigh. _There's the old Leliana._

“He made me feel... normal. Like I wasn't a mage. I could go anywhere without having to fear anything because of him.”

“He was a Knight-Captain, yes?”

Melody nodded. “It was love at first sight if you believe in that sort of thing. He kept sending out people to ‘find the apostate’ but I was always one step ahead. One night I actually accidentally ran into him and... it was over. He begged me to run away with him, said he could protect me. And... I believed him. Despite everything I had been through, I actually believed him.”

She sighed with a soft smile. “It was... The best 7 years of my life.” Tears burned in her eyes and she quickly wiped them away.

“Melody! Melody! Melody!” She turned to see Halei running towards her and she smiled softly. “Shouldn't you be in class, young lady?”

She frowned and looked down at the ground. “It was _booooring_! I wanted to come out and help you with stuff.” Melody chuckled and shook her head. “I have some things I need to talk over with people. Why don't you go see if Cullen needs help?”

“His name is _Coooomanderrr.”_

“That's not his name Halei,” she said with a sigh.

“Well that's what you call him,” she said with a pout and Melody rubbed her forehead.

“ _Halei...”_

“Okay bye!” She scampered off towards the training grounds and Melody sighed.

“When did you become so fond of kids Melody?”

Melody watched the girl for a moment longer before standing up, turning away. “My daughter would be her age,” she whispered softly before walking away to finish preparing for the following day.

~~~

_Visiting the tavern in two consecutive days? Really must be feeling sick_ , Cullen thought to himself as he opened the door. The smell of ale, food and sweat all mixed with each other and he wasn't sure if he was nauseated or comforted. Melody found him before he found her, calling him over. It seemed all of her posse was there, except Solas who never ventured in. 

“What are you having,” she asked and he shook his head. “I'm not drinking tonight.”

“C’mon Curly. Just one wont hurt you,” Varric teased and leaned back in his chair.

“Pleeease,” Melody pleaded and batted her eyes. “I'm going up anyways. I need another whiskey.”

The group groaned and she sent a glare to them all. “I've only had _one!_ ”

“Is Rylen gonna have to carry you out again,” Dorian yelled and she just stuck her tongue out before going to the bar for their drinks. 

“So Commander, what brings you to our little circle,” Bull asked while leaning on the table.

“The Herald asked me to come,” Cullen said in a sure tone. The Qunari let out a laugh and shook his head. “Don't let her hear you call her that. You might get punched.”

“Yeah,” the dwarf muttered, rubbing his shoulder. 

“Don't let me hear what,” she asked when she returned, dropping his ale in front of him and taking a sip of her drink. 

“Curly here called you _The Herald_ ,” Varric tattled with a smirk. Melody just shrugged and stretched her arms across the table, the blouse she was wearing not leaving too much to the imagination. He watched Bulls eyes drop and felt his blood run hot for a moment. 

“It's professional,” she said as she sat up from her stretch. “When we are in private company, its Melody.”

“Are you in _private_ company often?”

Both Herald and Commander coughed, choking on their drinks. He noticed her face turning as red as her hair. He cleared his throat and was faintly aware of Varric tossing a dark vial over to her. She pulled the stopper out and drank it quickly, taking deep controlled breaths. Dorian had a look of guilt on his face and for a moment the joyfulness faded. 

“Little sister! Why didn't you think to invite me?” A voice rang out and she rolled her eyes. “Because _big brother,_ you were an asshole earlier and I didn't think you deserved it.”

Noah placed a hand on his throat to feign insult and grabbed a chair to sit in, flipping it around and folding his arms on the back of it. “Well you should watch your back then.”

“You _dumped_ snow down my _shirt_!” Her voice rose an octave and Cullen was worried she might actually lash out. Instead she began coughing again and her brother instantly dropped the playful act. “Melody how long have you been coughing like that?”

“She just started. It was my fault,” Varric spoke up and her brother frowned. “You know-”

“About her breathing, yes. She already had her potion.”

Noah nodded and looked at her. “Have you been taking your daily one?”

She didn't answer and looked down guiltily. Even Varric frowned and looked at her. “Songbird, you didn't mention-”

“Melody you know that isn't long term-”

“ _Stop,”_ she yelled and the tavern silenced for a moment. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “You guys can yell at me all you want _after_ I close the Breach. Right now, I just want to drink and enjoy the company of my friends.” She tipped back the rest of her glass, downing the rest of her drink.

“If you drink anymore, you won't be enjoying much of anything,” Dorian yelled and she glared at him. 

“How about a song, Songbird,” Varric suggested and he noticed her face turn into a blush. 

“Yeah Mel I haven't heard you sing in a long time,” Noah said finally and sat up. 

“Guys no I can't,” she whispered and buried her face in her hands.

“I didn't know you sang,” Cullen spoke finally, staring into his ale. Melody shrugged and glanced around, seeing her father making his way over. “A caged bird doesn't sing.”

“I would rather like to hear my daughter sing,” Nathan said as he strode over to them. Even in Haven, he didn't let his noble stance go. He placed his hand on her shoulder and she sighed. “Fine but after this we are dancing!”

“I heard dancing?” Rylen made his way around the table and she smiled “Yes they are making me sing then afterwards we are dancing.”

“Oh singing huh? I bet I can make you sing,” he whispered and she giggled before clearing her throat. “Rylen, meet my father Bann Nathan Trevelyan and my brother Noah Trevelyan.” Cullen smiled in his ale as he saw the man stiffen under the withering gazes of her father and brother. 

She jumped up quickly and whispered something in his friends ear before moving over to the bard who smiled and nodded to the stool beside her. Everyone seemed to quiet down as they noticed their Herald sitting in the and Cullen saw her face turn bright red. She glanced at the bard beside her who began to pluck out a tune. Noah smiled and seemed to bounce in his seat. “This is my favorite.”

She closed her eyes after a few moments then took a breath.

_Echoes from the west_

_Great hammers will fall_

_Under high rocks all will_

_Answer the call_

_Bring us your arms_

_Pariahs of yore_

_All faces turn now to war_

_Exiles of the ash_

_Stare through crimson glow_

_Guards of the north_

_Sing their songs of the snow_

_Bring us the breath_

_Of the marshes and rain_

_Courage is rising again!_

Cullen felt a chill settle over his body as her alto voice rang out over the tavern. It seemed every eye was on her but she didn't notice. Her eyes were closed shut as if she was focused on nothing else but the words.

_War will weather the souls of the lost_

_Stand together whatever the cost_

_Shields will falter and many will fall_

_Time has come for us all_

_To answer the call_

He closed his eyes, absorbing the words she spoke when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. Her father had taken her spot and looked at her but spoke to him. “Commander Rutherford,” he spoke softly. Cullen grunted softly and leaned forward, his elbows rested on his knees. 

_Pride of Summer’s shores_

_Guide the voices of kings_

_Children of bark_

_They will tighten their strings_

“I know you were present in Kinloch with my daughter,” he said solemnly, his face not betraying anything. However Cullen felt uncomfortable. “I know of the altercation in Kirkwall as well.” He didn't respond to anything, just kept his eyes glued on the red head, noticing some strands of white showing through her normally tied up strands.

_Bring us the wits_

_Of the warm southern sands_

_Clouds over all of the lands_

“I trust you won't harm her again,” this time the banns voice held a threat and he nodded, not speaking a word. The man sighed and looked down. “I don't need to tell you the dangers of lyrium Commander,” he saw the man swallow visibly and he tried not to look at him. “My mind is already slipping. I'm finding it harder to remember my children... my wife...” He cleared his throat and looked at the man now, his green eyes hardened. “My time here is not long and I fear I will be joining the Maker and my wife and daughter soon. Noah will have to take over as Bann and she will have no one to watch her. Promise me Commander. You _will_ watch her.” 

_War will weather the souls of the lost_

_Stand together whatever the cost_

_Shields will falter and many will fall_

_Time has come for us all_

_To answer the call_

Cullen looked between him and the mage who had finally opened her eyes, the lilac orbs shining in the firelight in the tavern. He gave a short nod and looked back to her father. “I promise.”

“I said a _song_ to lighten the mood! Not depress all of us,” Varric yelled and the tavern all laughed as tables were moved to open the floor. Rylen was the first one on the floor with her, spinning her around as a song Cullen didn't recognize played. Varric told him it was a Starkhaven favorite and he nodded, watching as she moved with gracefulness. Soon that song ended and she placed a kiss on his friends cheek before going to sit and catch her breath. 

Towards the end of the night, Noah got up and whispered something to the bard who nodded and began plucking the strings to another slower song. He noticed Nathan had left his side and his daughter had graced his side.

_Lilac flowers_

_And berries where we lie_

_Behind these violet eyes_

_A fire_

Cullen smiled as he recognized the song and hummed it softly to himself, watching her father and her move across the floor. _It fits her._ He wondered if she knew he was slowly dying? Would this be their last dance? His heart ached for her as he downed the rest of his ale. 

“He used to sing this to her,” Noah said to no one in particular. _Does he know?_ The tears in his own emerald eyes gave him his answer. The song ended and he noticed Rylen slipping out the back of the tavern. Probably to avoid the awkwardness of her father and brother again.

Melody slid over with her father, her face flushed from the dancing. She stayed for a few minutes, joking with the group. He was surprised how at ease and trusting she was with them. She’d has to be. Otherwise she could die. 

Finally she sighed and downed her brothers drink, much to his protest and her disgust, and bid them all a good night. “Night daddy,” she whispered and kissed his forehead. He smiled fondly and squeezed her hand. “Good night little sparrow.”

He made his way to his tent shortly after, faintly hearing soft mewling from Rylens tent and he sighed softly before retiring to his own, using his pillow to block out the sounds.


	22. Chapter 22

She rose with a groan. How did she end up in her cabin? She didn't remember making it there but yet here she was. She glanced out the window and blinked against the blinding sunlight. Halei wasn't in the bed so she knew it must be late. She walked to her wash basin and poured some water to start washing up. 

The hairs on her neck began to stand up and she felt around for her dagger, nowhere in sight or reach.

“Looking for this,” a smooth Orlesian spoke from behind her. She chuckled and turned to see Leliana balancing her jeweled blade in her hand. 

“Good morning to you as well Leliana,” she chirped and dried her face off. She turned to face her, her hip resting on the table. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You were missing from the morning mage drill. Fiona took it over but I figured I’d stop in to check on you.”

“Ahh well I had cancelled drill today. The mages need their energy if we are to close the Breach.” She slid off the table and made her way towards the door but the woman blocked her path. “Don't you need to take the day off as well? Why should you go in tired but no one else?

Melody nodded and leaned against the wall. She wasn't wrong and Maker knew she could go for a few more hours of sleep. “Let me just check on Halei so that I know she's okay. I need to make plans for her in case things don't go as planned. Then I'll come back and rest.”

She tried to move around the spy master but was again blocked. Now she was getting annoyed. “Let me out.”

“Why? I can make sure the girl is taken care of. Just stay here and rest.” The sunlight filtering through the room lit up the womans eyes, making them bluer than normal. The hairs on her neck began to stand up again and her stomach rolled. 

“No, I think I will go get her myself,” Melody said warily. The other woman made a grab for her but she ducked under it, bolting for the door and shoving it open.

In a swift motion, the sunlight flooding the cabin was changed to darkness. Smoke filled her nose and she coughed as she took in her surroundings. Haven was on fire, cabins burning. She stumbled through the path, faintly aware of the screams around her. 

She caught her foot and fell on her face. Groaning she rolled over and panic gripped her. Her brothers body lay in front and she stifled a scream and she stood up quickly. She backed away, not taking her eyes off the corpse until she hit a wall of metal. 

She swallowed dryly and closed her eyes. She turned slowly as she became faintly aware of the throbbing in her head. The templar stood behind her, red lyrium jutting out of its armor. Its blood red eyes locked onto her. A soft growl emanated from it as it advanced towards her. A searing white pain shot through her right side and she felt the small slender hand wrap around her throat. 

“Should have stayed inside, no?”

She struggled against the grasp but was only met with more pain, her vision darkening as the creature swung its blade on her.

~~~

She woke with a start, faintly aware of the burning in her back. A chill had settled over her and she remembered she had slept in Rylens tent. She glanced towards the man who was still fast asleep, her head nuzzled into her chest. 

She slipped out of his grasp and dressed quickly, slipping on his too big breeches and tying the knot as tight as she could make it. She leaned over to grab her blouse and jacket, casually strewn across the across, and groaned softly at the pulling in her back. _That's going to hurt later._

She slipped out of his tent and made her way to the lake. She felt the ache with each step and ran a hand over her face, trying to get the images out of her head. Her steps had become more uneven, her focus buzzing in and out. She had been staring at the ground to watch her step that she didn't notice the armored man in front of her. Which she promptly ran into and groaned, her head ringing slightly.

“Melody are you alright?” She shook her head and saw Cullen staring at her, his face tight with worry. 

“A-Ah yeah, just a rough night.”

“Didn't sound like one to me,” he jested and her face flushed red. “Sorry... Didn't mean to keep you up. We're done now so you can head back...”

“Ahh no worries. Couldn't sleep anyway.”

She heard an urgent Starkhaven accent whisper ‘Commander’ and she chuckled through the dizziness. He sighed and glanced over the ridge. “What could he possibly want at this hour?”

“Must be urgent. You should head back anyway. I'm going to take a walk.”

Cullen gave her a small salute and walked off. She frowned and made her way into the woods by the lake, walking a bit of a distance before coming to her familiar moonlight clearing. 

Melody plopped down and sighed, rubbing her face. Her brothers corpse was still etched in her mind and no matter what she did, she couldn't get rid of it. Finally her frustrations and emotions got the best of her and with a frustrated yell, she let her hot tears fall down her face, letting the broken sobs go freely.

“Melody are you okay?” She groaned as recognition hit her of the voice and quickly wiped away her tears. 

“Yes,” she called out in annoyance. “Why are you back here? Shouldn't you be checking on Rylen?”

“I did,” he said tensely and she heard his steps come up beside her. “Why didn't you say you were hurt?!”

“Hurt? I'm not hurt you daft-” Right then, the sickening burn stretched itself across her back. She reached back to touch and felt the sticky wetness. She pulled her hand around and let out an airy laugh. “Huh. Guess I am.” She felt Cullen try to lift her up but she immediately squirmed out of his arms, landing on her unsteady feet.

“Melody we need to get you help!” His voice was urgent and she chuckled. 

“Why? I can help myself. Now come here and hold my shirt up.” She took her jacket off as Cullen just stared at her. She looked at him and waved her arms. “Hello, Cullen? Are you going to help me or just let me bleed out?”

He snapped out of whatever stupor he was in and moved to hold her shirt up. His hand grazed over several big and small scars littering her back. “I need you to tell me how big the wound is so I know how far to cover.”

He used his free hand to drag hers up to the top of the gash then moved his hand to the bottom so she knew where to stop. “Hmm not too big this time.”

_“This time?!”_ He stared as she started healing her, his hair standing up but him not moving. 

“Yes Cullen this time,” she gritted out. “You're not the only person to scar me.” 

He tensed and she shook her head. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Just... irritated.”

“What happened? Rylen said he woke up and you were gone and there was blood on his cot. He was ready to wake the watch.”

“How'd you convince him to go back to sleep?”

“Told him it was likely your monthly.”

“Oh Cullen what the f-” she hissed mid sentence, the twist as she turned to shout at him pulling the not healed wounds open. He chuckled as she started all over, muttering curse words at him. They remained silent until she finished healing herself. 

She finished and pulled her blouse back down, grabbing her jacket off the ground and putting it on. “Well we should probably head back.” Cullen nodded and she moved past him, him trailing behind her. They remained quiet until they reached the end of the woods.

“So what _did_ happen?”

“Demon.”

“ _What?”_ She quickly cursed herself and pulled herself in front of him. She put her hand on the one gripping his pommel and her other on his face. “Not... Not here Cullen.” She forced him to look at her, realizing the panic that must be coursing through him. He relaxed slightly and she tapped her head. 

“In the Fade. One of my more... vivid dreams.”

They continued walking and he frowned, thinking of the scars on her back. “Does this happen often?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Just every so often. I got too comfortable tonight.”

“Melody you really ought to be more careful-”

“ _I know,_ ” she hissed and sighed, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. “I know.” He was quiet more then spoke again. “What kind of demon was it?”

“You are just _full_ of questions aren't you?”

“I'm sorry. If... if you'd rather not-”

She laughed softly and touched his armored arm. “It's fine Cullen. Darren used to do this too. It would help... work everything through.” She waved her arms as if the problems were in front of her and paused for a moment then frowned. “Honestly I don't know. Probably some small wannabe. Normally I deal with pride demons or desire demons.” She shuddered and looked at the sky. “I almost said yes...” Cullen stopped to look at her and saw the fear in her purple eyes. “Cullen I almost said yes.”

He moved forward without thinking and wrapped her in his arms, this time not letting her fight it. He felt her shudder and her shoulders gently move as she cried softly in his arms. “But you didn't though,” he whispered and tucked her under his chin.

They stayed standing like that by the lake for a while, until she finally sniffled and rubbed her eyes. “Thanks,” she muttered and sighed. 

“Did it take a form?”

“Andrastes ass Cullen!” She laughed weakly and pushed him away, only for him to stumble and fall into the snow covered bank. He too began laughing and tossed snow at her, causing her to squeal and move away. 

She frowned as she watched him get up from a safe distance. “Gonna throw more snow at the injured woman?”

“Gonna push down the old man again?”

“ _Old_? You're barely older than me!” She glared at him and marched passed him, scooping up more snow and tossing it at his face. He chuckled and jogged to catch up to him as they neared the village.

“Leliana.”

“Hmm?”

“The demon. It... It took Lelianas form.” She sighed and shook her head. “It knew the little things we did and I got comfortable.”

“How'd you know it was a trap?”

“Well one, she tried to make me stay in my cabin. Two, I ran out the door and found Haven burning to the ground. Three, she offered to check on Halei. I knew she barely interacted with her so she wouldn't go out of her way to make decisions for her.” Her voice trailed off and he frowned. 

“What kind of decisions?”

She looked at the green mass in the sky and crossed her arms. “In case we fail. I need to make sure she's taken care off.” 

“Melody-”

“No we need to be prepared in case this doesn’t work.” She looked up at him with stern eyes.

“I'll do it.” He didn't know where the words came from but there they were.

“What?”

“Should... the inevitable happen, I'll take care of her.”

“Cullen-” Her voice was full of doubt.

“What would you do? Send her off to the alienage? Send her to someone she doesn't know?”

“ _No!_ Absolutely not!” Her eyes were not lit with a blazing passion and he found himself staring her down. She sighed and rubbed her head, smoothing out her ponytail. “You have to promise. Nothing bad will happen to her.” He nodded and she held out her pinky, which made him laugh.

“Really?”

“Yes really. Pinky promises are the most sacred of promises.”

He took her pinky in his and they shook. “I promise.”

She nodded and looked towards her cabin. “I should try to get more sleep. So should you.” 

He smiled and waved at her as she turned back towards him. She gave him his own wave and gracefully moved to her warm building and bed.

~~~

Cheers rang out as the group of mages led by Melody walked back into Haven. The Breach was no more. She felt her chest flutter as the crowd moved towards her, welcoming everyone back with cheers. Her eyes met Cullens and she smiled widely. She would allow for Halei to spend the day saying her goodbye then they would leave at first light the next day.

Melody decided she would go back to Ostwick, even if she didn't stay with her father and brothers she would at least stay within the city. Change herself again. Halei would be safe with her and everything would be fine.

She smiled as the little brown haired elf girl ran up to her leaping into her arms. She held her close and smiled. Her brother and father made their way down to them and hugged her and the girl close.

“So you saved the world! What will you do now,” Noah asked as he patted her back. She smiled and looked at the girl then her father.

“Well I was hoping to come home with you,” she said timidly. “The Circles have all fallen and... there really isn't anywhere for me to go.” Her father looked at her as if to contemplate it and she feared for a moment he would say no. Then his eyes crinkled as he smiled and hugged her tight.

“You will always be welcome my dear.”

She held him until the squirming ball of energy tried to escape her arms. Melody laughed and put her down, squatting down. “Why don't you go say goodbye to your friends and spend time with them while I pack our stuff hmm? We leave tomorrow morning.”

The girl frowned and tilted her head. “Is Commander coming too,” she asked with hopeful blue eyes. Melody looked at the man who was talking with the Seeker, his amber eyes meeting hers for a moment and she shook her head. “No sweetie, he has a job to do. Now run along.” She scooted her away and the girl looked sad for a moment before running off, apparently to the blonde man as she saw him shift and look down, crouching to her level.

She looked at her family and smiled. “Go and enjoy yourselves. I'm going to get our stuff packed up before I join in.”

She had been packing for a couple hours before a timid knock came to the door. “Come in,” she called and kept her back to the door. She heard him before he had knocked, his armor clanking. She heard the door open and shut and she sighed as silence filled the room for a minute or two. 

“You're leaving?” It was soft, almost a whisper. A question and she sighed, hanging her head.

“Cullen I don't belong here,” she said after a pause. She turned to face him and her heart fell when she saw how crestfallen he looked. “I'm assuming Halei told you then.”

“She was crying. Melody she doesn't want to go and can you blame her?” His voice was small, almost child-like and she bit her, looking at the ground. 

“People aren't safe with me here Cullen. It's better that I'm away-”

“I can protect you.” His voice was firmer now, louder and his face showed a brief moment of hopefulness. She smiled sadly and shook her head. “I have demons following me. Every night. I almost said yes last night. I don't think I have very many slip ups left.”

“You don't know that. I can help.”

“How Cullen,” her voice was rising now, the lead weight in her stomach growing. “Could you do it? If I was possessed, could you kill me?”

His face paled and she saw his throat bob for a moment. “Maker Melody don't ask me-”

“At one time your answer was yes. That it was your ‘duty’,” she sighed and shook her head. “I can't allow you to risk the safety of everyone here because of old feelings!”

“Who said they were old,” he yelled and they both froze for a moment. She widened her eyes and quickly shook her head. “Cullen you can’t have feelings for me.”

“And what if I do?”

“Then it's more reason for me to leave!” She yelled and turned her back to him, slamming the trunk closed. She sighed and gripped the table tightly. “This way you are safe from me.”

She heard the metal steps on the floor and gently turned to face him, his amber eyes flickering in the firelight. He gently moved her chin so that she looked at him. His face looked so broken, so _hurt._ “The Maker has already taken Darren..." She paused not wanting to mention Anders. "I couldn't bare if he took you too. So please, let me go.” She pulled away from him and walked out the door, leaving him standing in the cabin alone.

She walked through the village, the moon lighting her way as she made it to the festivities. She sat on the stairs, watching everyone cheer and dance with a smile. She finally did one thing right. Well two things. She watched Halei sitting with Varric listening to a story he was telling and she felt the hurt pang again. She would tell him bye this time. And she would write. She had already sent a raven to Alistair, informing him that she was leaving Haven and would like to visit before she returned home.

Footsteps behind her made her turn and smile at the Seeker. “Solas confirms the heavens are scared, but the Breach is sealed.” Melody stood up, brushing the snow off her rear and glanced at the sky. “There are still lingering rifts, and more questions. But for now, we are victorious.”

“Is this what victory feels like?” She chuckled to herself and shook her head.

“Word of your heroism has spread. What you see here will pale in the coming days.”

“We did this Cassandra. If you hadn't pushed me, I never would have helped. I likely would have ran. Luck just put me in the center.”

“Strange kind of luck. Don't know if we need more or less of it.” Melody laughed and shrugged. “I would prefer less. I don't want to be falling out of any rifts anything soon.”

Cassandra smiled a rare grin and nodded. “I agree though. This was a victory of alliance. One of the few of recent memory.” She turned to face the Herald now. “With the Breach closed, that alliance will need new focus.”

_No Cassandra, please don't ask me to stay._

Warning bells rang out before she could continue her sentence and Melody leapt off the landing running towards the bells.

“Get her to the Chantry,” she yelled at Varric as she reached back to check her bow was secure. Cassandra followed on her heels as they made it to the front gates, Cullen barking out orders. Any trace of their earlier conversation was now gone. He was in his element.

“Cullen?”

“One watchguard reporting. There's a massive force, the bulk over the mountain.”

“Under what banner?”

“None.”

“None?” Josephines face paled.

Loud thumping could be heard on the other side of the barred doors. “I can't come in unless you open up.”

Melody ran to the door, ignoring the cries from the leaders. She pushed it open and almost ran face first into a Venatori soldier, having no time to register him. She braced for the sting from the pain, hearing her name a panicked cry on the groups lips, but it never came. Instead there was a gurgle and she blinked, the Venatori lying dead at her feet. She faintly registered armored feet running up beside her as Cullen and Cassandra flanked on either side of you.

The boy in front of them hardly looked old enough to be out here. His skin was a skinly gray, straw colored hair stuck down from under his helmet, his eyes a gray-blue that made Melody slightly uneasy.

“Hi, I'm Cole. I came to warn you. To help. People are coming to hurt you. You probably already know.”

Melody shook her head and reached out, putting her hands on his shoulder. “Slow down. What's going on?”

“The Templars are coming to kill you.” Color drained from Melodys face and she heard the blood rushing to her head. She turned to Cullen who was just as shocked as she was, stepping in front of her as if he was a barrier.

“Is this the Orders response to us talking to the mages? Attacking blindly?!”

“The red templars went to the Elder One.” He turned to face Melody again who was still trying to gain her footing. “You know him? He knows you. You took his mages.” He pointed to the ridge and she followed his gaze. There was a man-or woman standing there and another much taller creature behind him. “He's very angry you took his mages.”

Melody turned to Cullen and gripped his wrist. “Cullen! Give me a plan,” she pleaded and he looked at her, the fear in her voice not missed. “I-uh Melody I don't-”

“Anything Cullen please,” she begged and he saw the tears build in her eyes. _She's terrified._ He cleared his throat and glanced around. “Haven is no fortress. If we are to survive, we must control the battle.”

“And it’s mages against the templars,” she whimpered. She didn't have any confidence in them winning the battle. Her heart tightened in her chest as she took a deep breath.

“Get out there and hit it with force. Use _everything_ you can,” he said firmly and she nodded at the order. 

“Cassandra, Bull, Dorian you're with me,” she yelled with renewed energy. “The rest of you go back to the Chantry.”

“Mages! You... You have sanction to engage! These are templars, they will not make it easy!” He paused and turned to look at his army. “Inquisition! With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!” A cheer rang out and she felt the energy move through her as she removed her bow from her back. 

~~~

The battle had been constant. She warned her group to avoid the lyrium spikes as they dealt with the near continuous stream of templars. Her arm was getting tired of the bow and she soon discarded it and started shooting purple balls of fire at the mages. _Much more effective._ She began working on the trebuchet as her team worked with the soldiers to dispatch the last of the horrors that arrived. 

Her head rang with the dangerous song and she felt herself shake the longer she turned the machine. Finally getting the machine turned all the way, she watched as the rock soared through the air. It landed against the side of the mountain and she yelled excitedly as the avalanche swept away the majority of the army.

All excitement faded as a roar rumbled out around them, shaking the very core of Melody. She barely had time to jump away as a ball of fire destroyed the trebuchet she had once stood by. She looked up at the dragon and felt the bile rise in her throat. “Its a _fucking_ Archdemon.”

“We can't fight it here! We have to do... something.” Cassandra yelled and she felt the panic well back up inside her. She looked around before dragging her hands through her hair. 

“Fall back to the gates,” she yelled, trying to conceal the fear and defeat in her voice. How were they going to defeat an Archdemon? The only Warden with them was Blackwall but they didn't have the army to help defeat it. They charged for the gates, stopping to help Harriett get into his shop before it burned down.

She darted for the gates and she looked around at the destruction. The cabins were burning and her heart leapt into her chest. Cullen slammed the gates shut behind them and she saw her father and brother, swords and shields in hand.

“What do you think you are doing,” she yelled at them and stomped over. Her father glared at her and she faltered for a moment but continued. “You should be in the Chantry with the others, not out here fighting!

“Did you really think I would let you have all the glory dear sister?” Noah gave her a lopsided grin but she didn't return it. “Do you not know what's happening here? I can't be focused on saving my ass when I'm worried about you!”

“ _Enough!”_ The gravelly voice yelled out and both kids jumped at their fathers raised voice. She glared at the two of them. “I spent well enough time fighting to be able to handle myself! I will not sit idly by while my last remaining daughter risks her life!” His voice raised in the tone that she herself recognized the few times she got on Greagiors bad side and she lowered her head. 

She whispered an apology to her brother and father before turning to Cullen who was giving orders to soldiers. “Cullen-”

“We need everyone back to the Chantry.”

“ _Cullen-”_

“It's the only thing that might hold against that... that beast.”

“ _Commander!”_

He finally turned his gaze towards her and softened slightly. She ran her hands through her hair and looked at him. “Cullen, that's an Archdemon,” she said in a low voice, thick with emotion.

“An Archdemon?” Her fathers voice was thick with shock and disbelief.

“How do you know what an Archdemon is? You've never seen one!” She turned to Noah and glared. “I was released from the Ferelden Circle after I turned 18 to the care of Warden Commander Elise and King Alistair during the Blight! I was in the Deep Roads when we first saw it! I _know_ what an Archdemon looks like.” Her brother stared at her wide eyed and she turned back to Cullen, hoping for anything. Instead she was just met with a shrug and sad eyes. 

“At this point, just make them work for it.” He quickly left her side and she turned to men. “You are to stay close and listen to me,” she growled and pushed past them before they could complain.

They found Lysette trying to fight off several red templars on her own and she quickly ran over, dowsing them with purple flame while the warriors engaged made good use of the distraction. Once they were dispatched she sent her back to the Chantry. 

They made their way and heard Seggrit calling for help from inside a burning cabin. She struggled to bust down the door and noticed the roof access too late as the roof came crashing down on him. She didn't like the guy but she didn't want him to die like that.

They rushed to the apothecary area and managed to save Adan and Minaeve before the carts exploded. They started rushing back to the Chantry and caught sight of Threnn and soldiers fighting more templars by the Chantry. Fear gripped her as she thought about Halei inside and she yelled, tossing a ball of fire and knocking three of the mutated soldiers back. She smiled and the warriors rushed forward. 

She got ready to send a wall of fire towards an oncoming wave of soldiers but her mana stuttered. Her hands flew to her throat as she felt it close off. She stumbled a moment trying to take in her surroundings, looking for the knight that silenced her. She turned just in time for a shield to smack against her face.

Stars danced in her vision, her ears ringing. She could hear someone yelling her name but she couldn't move, a heavy boot planting itself on her back. She struggled under the weight and realized she never grabbed her dagger from her cabin. _Well fuck._

She tried to get some semblance of her mana back but before she could, the weight disappeared with a soft roar. Wetness hit the side of her face. She tried to stand and found leather gloves lifting her to her feet. “I got you,” Cullens whispered and she shrugged him off, looking for the templar that was on her. 

“Melody come on-” The voice was more urgent but she shoved him off as she caught the sight of a warrior and templar engaged in a tight battle. She rushed forward to help but felt the air rush out of her as the templars blade inserted deep within his stomach.

“ _No!”_


	23. Chapter 23

_“No!”_

Melody ran towards the templar, grabbing a sword from the ground. The templar removed his blade from the man and he crumpled to the ground. She swung the blade towards the man and found it severely unbalanced for her. The templar blocked it with ease and she felt the muscles in her wrist hyperextending. Thankfully Cullen was right behind her and moved in, blocking the next swing from the creature.

She felt to her knees beside the man and rolled him over. Her fathers face had already paled and she felt her eyes blur. “Hold on daddy.” She hovered her hand over the wound but no magic came. Her panic grew and she looked to the commander who hovered over her. 

“Dorian I need lyrium!” Her heart thumped as she put pressure on the wound, hoping to stop the bleeding. Noah had slid to her side, gripping his fathers hand. “Father...”

“ _Dorian!”_

“I'm out Melody!” Her panic grew and she began shaking. _Don't do it girl. You know better,_ the voice came back louder and she quickly shut it up. _Sharp. Need something sharp._ She looked up at Cullen and remembered the cut on her thigh from his armor.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered and reached up, yanking her palm across the bottom of his armor. The blood ran down her hand and his eyes widened.

“Melody, don't you dare-” His voice was cold but fearful and she heard the leather gritting against the hilt of his sword.

She quickly lowered her hand to her fathers wound but was hit with an invisible wall. Melody froze and looked at Cullen whose eyes were now wild. She got ready to yell at him but felt her father squeeze her bleeding hand. “He didnt do it.”

She whipped her head back and her tears fell heavily. “Daddy I can save you.”

“My time has come now darling. You can't fight the Makers will.” She shook her head and shuddered, gripping his hand. 

“I can save you though.”

“Not with blood magic,” his voice was weak but his green eyes never left hers. Instead he took his hand, sticky from their blood mixing, and placed it on her cheek. Her tears burned against her cold skin and she shook her head. “Please... Let me save you.”

“Mel...” Noah now held her bleeding hand and shook his head. Nathan smiled at his kids, his hand raising to wipe away the tears of his son. “Remember that song I would sing whenever I had to leave,” his voice was barely a whisper and she nodded in earnest, chuckling weakly.

 _“And I dream of the sky,"_ he whispered out and she swallowed the lump in her throat before joining in.

 _"Broken clouds drifting by,"_ she sang out in harmony, her brothers voice now going in.

_“And I dream of goodbye_

_"No more tears_

_"Well's run dry,”_ she felt herself shudder and he smiled at his kids, his emerald eyes dulling. “No more tears, my loves. I love you so much.” She froze as his hand went limp in her lap.

The scream escaped her before she could stop it, feeling her mana slowly return to her. Her tears fell faster as she begged and pleaded to the Maker to give her father back. She felt arms around her arms lifting her up, Bull dragging her back as she fought against him. Cullen avoided her gaze as they made their way back to the Chantry. 

Her breaths were coming in little pants as the doors slammed shut, sitting on the ground with her hands in her hair.

“Melody!” She jerked her head towards the small voice, seeing Halei launch herself at her. She held her tightly, tears still falling. “I was so scared! Did you get hurt _asa’ma’lin_ ?” She pulled away to see the blood from her transferring to the girl. She folded her cut hand into a fist and shook her head. “No _da'len, it's_ not mine. Why don't you go back to Varric sweetling? I'll be with you soon.” Melody nodded to the dwarf he nodded and kept the girl with him.

“Commander, is there any way out of here?” Her voice was shaky and she noticed he kept a good distance from her, his amber eyes watching her. He shook his head.

“Our position... It's not good. The dragon bought back anytime we may have earned.”

“So that's it? We just lay here and die?” Her voice was angry and she didn't miss his hand tightening on his pommel. _Burned that bridge. Way to go._

“That... thing will kill everyone in Haven,” he hissed back and Cole looked at them very plainly. “The Elder One doesn't care about the village. He only wants the Herald.” She snarled and looked at the strange boy.

“Then he can _fucking_ have me.” She stomped over and grabbed up several vials of lyrium, sliding them into her pouch then grabbing a quiver and bow that was discarded to the side. “Anything to keep him from the villagers.”

“He wants to kill you.”

“Good.” Her voice came out cold and Cullen looked at her, his eyes widening. The boy continued.

“He will crush and kill them all anyway. I don't like him.”

Cullen looked at him incredulously. “You don't like- Herald there are no tactics to make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them was the avalanche. We could turn one last trebuchet, cause another slide. It’d bury Haven."

"Absolutely not-"

"We're dying but we can decide how. Many don't get that choice.”

“Then I better kill him first huh,” she said smoothly, not meeting his gaze. He grabbed her wrist and she looked at him, her face void of all emotion.

“Do you hear yourself Melody? Its a suicide mission!”

She shrugged, Cullen getting ready to finally snap on her and Cole spoke up again. “Yes that could work! The Chancellor has an idea. He wants to say it before he dies.”

“There is a path. You wouldn't know it unless you made the summer pilgrimage like I had.”

Melodys eyes flashed with brief emotion and nodded before returning stony. “So people can escape then.” She turned to Cullen. “Will it work?”

“If he shows us the way. But what of your escape?” She didn't answer but instead briskly walked over to Halei. The younger elf looked up at her expectantly. “Are we going to be safe Melody?”

She smiled sadly and nodded. “Yeah you will be. I have to go and do one more thing but I want to give you something.” She ripped the necklace off her neck and slipped the rings off of it. “These rings belonged to two very important people in my life _da’len._ I need you to keep these safe for me okay?” She folded them into her small palm and the girls bright blue eyes looked into hers. 

“You're coming with us aren't you,” she asked and Melody swallowed the lump in her throat. Instead she gathered the girl in her arms and hugged her tightly. She felt the girl sniffle and she placed a small kiss on her forehead. 

“Ar lath ma asa’ma’lin,” the girl whispered and she felt her heart shatter in two. “Ar lath ma da’len.” She stood up, nodding to Varric whose own eyes were filled with tears. She stalked across the room where Noah and Cassandra joined Cullen.

“How do you plan on escaping Melody,” Cullen asked again and she just smiled sadly, pulling the stopper on a lyrium potion, chugging it back. He shook his head. “No. I won't allow it. Allow me to go-”

“He doesn't want you Commander _.”_ Her voice was controlled, her emotions locked in. _Mothers lessons are coming in handy._ She turned to Cassandra who was gathering up her own equipment. 

“I'm going alone,” she said firmly and the Seeker opened her mouth to argue but Melody just raised her hand. “No one else is dying for me today.”

Noah stood beside her and gripped his sword. “I'm going too.”

“No. I'm going alone. Stay here and help them escape.” He wheeled around on her to start berating her but she placed her fingers on his forehead, closing her eyes and putting him under the Sleep spell. She looked at Cullen and sighed. 

He didn't look scared of her now, only sad. “Melody please... Let me go. They still need you,” his voice was thick with emotion and she shook her head. 

“I told you Cullen. Don't fall for me. You'd only get hurt.” She reached up and kissed his cheek and folded the necklace into his hand. He looked down and widened his eyes at the pendant with the dark red liquid sloshing around. He met her eyes that were filled with tears then quickly hardened over into violet gems.

“This way you don't have to wonder... if you left me to die or not.” She nodded to herself, turning on her heels and walked towards the doors. She turned and pointed across the Chantry to the little elf girl. “Do not forget your promise.”

“I'll find you,” he called and she paused. He almost thought he heard _I hope so_ before slipping out, freezing the outside with a thick covering of ice to prevent followers. 

He turned to the villagers huddled in the Chantry, giving orders to follow the Chancellor that Cassandra now held up and motioning to Bull to pick up the unconscious Noah. He looked into the chapel area at the statue of Andraste and closed his eyes. _The Light shall lead her to safety though the paths of this world, and into the next._

~~~

“For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water.” She sent an fireball over her left shoulder, watch as it exploded a templar and a horror. She stalked through the town to the trebuchet, sending fire onto two more horrors and freezing another in place. 

“As the moth sees light and goes toward flame, She should see fire and go towards Light.” She continued to repeat the Chant out loud, feeling the fire in her stomach fuel. She pulled a stopper out on the lyrium potion, chugging it quickly and throwing the flask at an incoming templar, causing it to stutter. Her blood roared with the blue liquid and she sent a steady stream of purple flame at him, smiling at his violent screams. 

“The Veil holds no uncertainty for her,” she yelled as she sent a wave of fire towards a group of horrors and foot soldiers at the gates of the fallen village. She paused long enough to rip a piece of burning parchment and write a note on it after smacking out the smoldering edges. 

She whistled hopefully that there was still a raven around and sure enough, one came to land in front of her. She tied it to its leg and scratched its chin, eying its deep purple gaze. “Take it to King Alistair in Denerim.” The raven flew off and she glanced at the body of her fallen father before opening another potion and tilting it back.

_Stop. You are taking too much. Let me help._

_No. Not yet._

She ran to the final trebuchet, sending another flash of fire into the charging group. She finished off with a wall of flame to finish up the stragglers.

“And she will know no fear of death,” she roared as she felt the familiar grip of the Silence and she pulled her bow off her back, notching arrows and letting them fly into the red knight. Her courage faltered as she saw the giant red crystalline behemoth lumbered towards her and she threw her bow to the side, opening another potion and chugging it.

“For the Maker shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword.” She set a fire mine down before her and jumped back, sending a purple ball of flame towards the creature. It moved towards her and she chuckled darkly as it stepped on her mine, fire exploding around her. 

It let out a roar and swung its arm at her, catching her calf as she tried to duck out of its way. She cried out as she landed, hearing the sickening snap of her bone. She picked herself up and reached into her pouch, only to find the potions had shattered. She frowned and rolled as red lyrium spikes charged towards her, hissing in pain. She couldn't keep this up forever

_Maker be damned girl, you are going to get yourself killed. Let me help!_

_No dammit! I got this!_

She shot a fireball at the creature and set another mine, keeping her distance now. It lumbered towards her again and sent more lyrium spikes towards her. This time she didn't move fast enough. The shards hit her square in the chest and she rolled back. Pain roared through her shoulder as she ripped out the shard that pierced her armor.

She smiled as the creature hit her mine once again. She tried to move but found her motions sluggish, her brain throbbing from the close encounter with the beast.

_Do you want to die? Is that it? Is that what Anders would have wanted?_

She frowned and spit on the ground, blood from her split lip spilling into her mouth. Melody forced herself up and shot a weaker fireball at the beast. Then another. And another. She repeated this several times, repeating the Chant in her head until her vision swam and she staggered. Her mana was too low now and the beast showed no sign of going down.

_Fine. Help me._

She felt the familiar surge of power and blue lightning crackled across her arms. She smirked and began throwing streams of lightning at the red lyrium behemoth. There was no sound in her mind, no thought, no pain. Just the need for this monster to die. Eventually the creature finally went down, exploding into little shards. 

She covered her face and smiled, the powerful feeling leaving her. Melody turned the trebuchet, getting it ready to be released. She sank to her knees and looked back to the tree line. _Come on Cullen. Get there._

A roar rocked her body and she forced herself up as the dragon landed in front of her. She tried to summon up some sort of... anything but found herself still too low. She turned to run the other way but was met by a creature with red lyrium sticking out of his body. She smelled the foulness that reminded her of the darkspawn in the Deep Roads and resisted the urge to cover her mouth. 

“You're one ugly son of a bitch aren't you?” The dragon snapped at her and then let out a roar that she knew the villagers could hear.

“Enough.” The man pushed an invisible wall against her and she stumbled, trying to keep weight off her right leg.

“Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more.”

She snarled and stood up straighter, narrowing her eyes at him. “I'm not afraid of you, whatever you are.”

“Words mortals often hurl into the darkness. Once they were mine. They are always lies. Know me. Know what you pretend to be.”

“I pretend to be _no one.”_ She slowly inched her way towards the trebuchet, looking towards the treeline. _Damn Cullen come on._

“Exalt the Elder One, the will that is Corypheus!” He raised his clawed hand to her. “You will kneel.”

“I will not yield,” she hissed. The pain in her leg was growing and she found it hard to concentrate. “You’ll... You’ll get nothing from me.”

The creature chuckled darkly. “You'll resist. You'll always resist. It matters not.” He lifted a golden orb in his other hand and she tried to look at it closer without moving. It began to spark red and she felt her mark begin to react to it.

“I'm here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.” He thrusted his free hand forward and she felt the scream escape before she could stop it. Her knees gave out and she fell, tears falling down her face as the pain seared her left arm.

_Do not give in._

“This is your fault ‘Herald’. You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its purpose.” He jerked his wrist and she cried out louder, her vision darkening from the pain. She started to take controlled breaths as she felt her chest and throat grow tight.

“I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as ‘touched’, what you fail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens!”

The pain only increased as he closed his fist, drawing her arm forward towards him. Her body was tight and her voice was growing hoarse from screaming. Yet that's all she found she could do. _Maker please let it end._

_Stay strong. Do. Not. Give. In._

“And you used the Anchor to undo my work. The _gall.”_

“Then fucking take it back! I never wanted this,” she begged. She felt the sharp sting across her back as she remembered the last time she felt this small. She could do nothing. She just wanted the pain to stop.

The creature stalked towards her and yanked her up by her arm. She cried out as she felt her shoulder separate from its socket and her need to purge grew.

“I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the Empire in _person.”_ He snarled and pulled her closer. “I only found chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. No more.”

She willed herself to try and stay still as pain rippled through her. Her tears had stopped at some point and she was becoming more numb to everything. She growled and spit in the creatures face.

“I have gathered the _will_ to return in no other name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods and it was _empty!”_

She cried out as he slung her over to the trebuchet, feeling her skull crack as it connected with the metal plating. _Cullen please get there..._

Her vision swam as she gasped for air through the pain that rushed her body. She heard the man speaking but couldn't understand his words. She pulled herself up as the man walked towards her, lighting her palm of fire with what little mana she could muster. 

She squinted against the tree line and saw the flaming arrow, her body nearly collapsing in relief. _O Maker hear my cry..._

She turned and looked towards the release mechanism and smiled.

“... You. Must. Die.”

She smirked and held herself up. “You expected me to fight. But that's not why I kept you talking.” 

“Here's your prize!” She turned and hit the lever, watching the machine launch. Melody smiled as the rock made contact and the ground rumbled. She took the distracted moment to half limp, half run away from the rushing snow. She knew she wouldn't make it but it was worth a shot. _Seat me by Your side in death._

The dragon roared behind her and she worried it would give chase. She didn't bother looking back, feeling the wind and snow whip around her as she jumped off the platform. The pain shot up her leg and she stumbled, falling through an opening in the ground. She felt as if she were falling forever before she felt her head hit a rock, bright light taking over her vision before she felt herself finally hit solid ground and the edging sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Nathan sings in an attempt to calm his kids is actually verses from two different songs. The first two lines are from "Dream of the Sky" by Miracle of Song and the last three are from "Dream of Goodbye" by Miracle of Song. I have an unhealthy obsession. But they sound good together.


	24. Chapter 24

The roar rattled his bones but he forced himself to keep walking. The vial in his hand shimmered with a faint blue pulse when he checked it. He didn't see the dragon but knew it must be close. His teeth clenched together as he forced himself to leave her behind. A faint scream filled the air and his eyes closed briefly, pleading with the Maker to let them escape.

Finally they managed to make it over the treeline. Cullen hesitated as he pulled out his spyglass and glanced to where the final trebuchet lay. He saw the Elder One with her in his hand, dangling as if she were a doll. An archer with a lit arrow readied beside him and he held his hand to halt him. If they launched the signal now, she would miss it.

His stomach dropped as the creature tossed her like a discarded toy and her body slammed against the wooden machine. He held his breath as she didn't move, fearing he was too late. 

His breath released in a ragged exhale as he saw her shift and glance to the treeline. 

“Now,” he whispered and the archer released the arrow, watching it sail over the trees. He thought he saw her shoulders sag then turn towards the dragon and creature. Then she turned and kicked the lever, the trebuchet launching. He watched the rock soar through the air and connect with the mountain, watching the avalanche unfold. 

Cullen watched the dragon take off growling softly then turned his glass towards were the Herald once stood but watched as she limped away. _Must have gotten hurt in the throw._ He wanted to rush down and help her. His heart raced as he saw her leap then disappear under the snow.

_Maker help her._

_~~~_

_Cold._

_Why is it always cold?_

Melody shifted, her head throbbing. She tried to stand but was met with a burning pain spreading up her leg. She let out a whine and huffed, closing her eyes to source all the pain. Without any luck.

_“Come on sweetling. You have to move.”_

She shifted and looked around seeing no one, but the voice was one she knew well. She groaned, realizing the pain in her side. Glancing down, she saw the thick splintered piece of wood protruding from her side. 

“Fuck me,” she groaned. She looked around her, realizing it looked like an old mineshaft. Melody sighed and started to stand up, crying out in pain as things stretched inside her. _Not good. Not good at all._

_“Come on. You have to move.”_

She closed her eyes and started walking, her broken leg dragging uselessly behind her. She took a shuddering breath, using her hands to hold the splinter still. Her body shook with each painstaking step. She made it to the end of the hall when her hair began sticking up. 

“No... no come on,” she whimpered as she caught sight of two despair demons. She tried to summon her fire but nothing came. Her head thudded heavily as she realized her mana was dangerously low. 

She tried to lower herself down, hoping to sneak around the demons. That failed when she slipped off the ledge, crying out as she landed on her broken leg. Panic gripped her as she realized she didn't have any way to defend herself. The demons moved towards her, her heart stuttering from the cold breath of the monsters. 

She felt her left hand spark and she lifted it in front of her. Green sparks shot out of the Anchor as she watched a rift open before her. Was the mark spiraling out of control? That was the last thing she needed right now. She couldn't defend herself against these demons, let alone more falling from the rip in the Veil.

She waited for what she thought would be her death but instead was met with screeches of pain. She opened her eyes and saw the despair demons fading before the rift exploded, killing the creatures with it. 

Melody shuttered her eyes closed briefly, the pain in her body just overwhelming her. Yet there was the voice yet again.

“ _Come on love. Lets go,”_ it egged and she sighed, staggering to her feet with a soft cry. She made it to the other end of the icy room before finally falling, letting her darkness take her over.

~~~

Cullen stared down the path they had just come up from. The wind whipped through his hair as he watched the latest search party led by his second come back empty handed. He felt his frustration boil under his skin. _She's out there. She had to be._

Rylen stopped in front of him, slipping the glass vial into his hands. “I'm not seeing her out there,” he muttered and Cullen just shook his head. He trusted his friend with the phylactery and since he was still taking lyrium, he would be more able to focus on where exactly she was. The deep red blood shimmered telling them she was alive, but the pulse remained the same, not brighter but not duller, just faint.

“She's alive. I know she is.” He began to gather other soldiers, preparing another search party. Exhaustion pulled at his eyes and he rubbed them to force it away. A small hand gripped his elbow and he turned to face Cassandra who had came up beside him.

Her eyes were puffy like she had been crying and he wanted to ask her if she was alright. The words caught in his throat. No one was alright. The Herald was gone. Risked her life so they could escape. He lowered his eyes from the warriors and she patted his shoulder. “I will man the next search,” she whispered. 

“No I got it-”

“Cullen, you need to rest. You're falling asleep as you stand here!” Her voice was firm and gravelly with her accent.

He frowned and rubbed his forehead. “Cassandra, I need-”

“Sleep.” Her voice softened and she forced him to look at her. “You won't be any good to her or us if you die out there because you couldn't see straight.”

He sighed and his shoulders slumped forward. She was right. Of course she was right. He let her lead him to a cot that had been set up and he sat down, rubbing his face. How could he sleep? He told her he would find her. 

“Commander?”

He lifted his head to the blue eyed elf staring at him, her eyes full of tears. “She's going to be okay, isn't she?” The girl asked between hiccups. He felt the knot in his throat grow. He didn't even know the answer. Instead, he just nodded.

“I think so Halei.”

She charged into him, wrapping her arms not even close to wrapping around him. He hugged the girl back as she sobbed into his armored chest. Her cries opened his own dam and he felt the hot tears burn streaks down his face. _When did this happen?_

He didn't know how much time passed before he noticed the girl had stilled in his arms. He glanced down at her tear stained face, now sleeping. Cullen slipped his mantle off and carefully wrapped the young girl in it before laying her on his cot.

He settled for sitting on the ground in front of her, his hand still gripping the pendant. He leaned his head back to rest against the cot and closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep.

It only lasted a few hours it seemed. He was jerked awake by yelling across the camp. He stood slowly, glancing at Halei who was still snoozing. Cullen nodded and made his way towards the shouting.

Noah, now awake after his sisters Sleep spell wore off, was livid. He was screaming at the Seeker who was just as loud.

“What in the Void is going on,” Cullen yelled over the two. Cassandra gave pause but that only gave the older Trevelyan a new target. He stormed towards the commander.

“How could you let her go by herself?” His face was red, his voice growing hoarse. 

“She didn't give us a choice.” Cullen put his hands up in an attempt to show him he didn't mean any harm. That didn't matter.

“You could have stopped her! Forced her to come with us!” The man swung his fist before Cullen reacted, sleep still weighing heavily on him. He felt his lip split, tasted the blood that leaked into his mouth. He stumbled backwards as the man advanced towards him again.

Bull quickly grabbed the man, sliding his arms under his and lacing his fingers behind the struggling mans head. That didn't stop his mouth however. By now half the camp was stirring from the fight.

“There was no forcing her,” Cullen said slowly. “She froze the Chantry doors shut so no one could follow.” The lump formed in his throat and he struggled to maintain his straight face. 

“She was all I had left,” he yelled, continuing to struggle against the Qunari. “Everyone is dead beside my brother and judging by those Templars, he's probably dead too.”

Instead of replying, knowing it would be a lost cause, he looked around him. The sky was starting to lighten. They could find her easier now. Bull was dragging the man off to cool down now.

“We need to get moving,” a rough voice said beside him. He glanced at Cassandra who was looking at him with sympathetic eyes.

“We have more daylight though. We could-”

“Cullen we can't sit here idly. We need to keep moving. Find somewhere more stable to rest.”

“But what if-”

“If the Maker sees fit to return her to us, He will.” She paused to take a breath. “We have to take care of who are here now.” She walked off before he could say anything else. _Ever the voice of reason._

“Start packing! We move out at dawn!”

~~~

She woke with a start, shivering from cold. Or shock. Or both. She couldn't tell. Melody lay on the frozen ground, her limbs stiff. “Maker why won't you let me die,” she whispered. Pain surged through her as she tried to move and the tears fell. Her breath shuddered and she closed her eyes, remaining perfectly still.

_“Come now darling. Since when did you give up?”_

Her eyes flew open. Different voice now, this one with a hint of teasing, but still a baritone. She glanced around and caught a glimpse of something shimmery ahead of her. It was small, a faint orange color, but also blue. She sat up, and dragged herself towards it. _A cat._ There was a Maker damned cat in front of her.

She frowned and clicked her tongue to get it to approach her. It stretched and leisurely walked towards her. Why was there a cat here? She didn't remember seeing any cats in Haven. It sat just out of her reach but was close enough now she could see it... wasn't an actual cat. She could see through it. A weak laugh escaped her and she shook her head, her red and white strands falling limply.

“Of course I would start hallucinating. Because why not?” The cat blinked at her knowingly and crept forward, brushing against her. Despite looking spectral, it felt... solid. She weakly lifted a hand to stroke it, surprised to feel soft fur. Then it pulled away to sit a few feet in front of her.

 _“Come now. Did you think it would be that easy?”_ The voice. This time she noticed it came from the cat. Her eyes narrowed as her heart clenched, recognizing the voice.

“Anders,” she whispered weakly. She began laughing at herself and shaking her head. “I really must be dying if you are here.”

 _“You wouldn't be dying if you would just get up.”_ A deeper voice called from beside her, chastising her. She lifted her head to look at the man beside her, Templar armor sparkling beautifully against the ice around her.

“Darren,” she whispered with a whimper. Now she really just wanted to curl up and die. She started to lay down again, deciding to let the chill take her. Instead she felt herself being hefted to her feet, much to her pain. She cried out and tried to fall but couldn't move. 

_“No you don't. Come on. You have people waiting.”_

“Just let me die,” she pleaded. “Haven't I done enough?” The man holding her just laughed and shook his head, forcing her to take a step forward. He didn't say anything else, just encouraged her to step forward. The cat stayed just steps ahead of her, looking back occasionally.

Half way through the tunnel, Melody cried out. The pain had been too much to bear now and she just wanted to sleep. Cat-Anders walked over to her, purring softly. He brushed against her broken leg and the pain faded briefly, instead being replaced with warmth. 

_“Now come on love. You have people waiting.”_ She shook her head in protest and leaned against the wall. “No I don't. Everyone I have loved is dead. Is it so wrong?”

The cat just stared at her before walking off ahead of her. She sighed and struggled back to her feet, thankful for the wall to hold her up. There was silence now, except for the sound of fabric sliding along the rocky ice wall and the soft dragging of her foot on the ground.

Exhaustion was pulling at her as the end of the tunnel showed itself. It was darker now and she could barely see in front of her. Hunger chewed at her stomach again, for what she thought must have been the hundredth time. The pains were coming back tenfold. 

Finally she staggered at the mouth of the tunnel, the moons gently lighting up the world around her. She could no longer see the spectral cat not her Templar. Everything was silent except for the sound of the howling wind. She sighed and staggered forward, falling almost face first in the snow. 

The wood in her side shifted and white light blinded her, fire burning her insides. She couldn't breath, panic gripping her. She closed her eyes, her head buzzing loudly before finally letting sleep she fought for so long take her.

She didn't know how long she slept, but she felt something pulling at her to move. Snow had started to fall at a rapid pace and she had a small pile forming over her. She shook it off as she tried to stand up, this time ignoring the pain as much as possible.

Outside, there was nothing preventing the cold wind from slicing through her. She let out a shiver and started stumbling forward. She saw a small fire burning and she felt her heart soar.

Her happiness was short lived as she got closer and only saw it was a wagon that had been on fire. The flame died out as she got closer and she whined softly.

 _“Come along little one. You are getting close.”_ She felt arms wrap around her and looked up to see her spectral fiance helping her up again. She just wanted to sleep. She glanced towards the wooded area, hearing the faint howl of wolves.

_“Don't worry about them. Let's get you to safety.”_

She whined as she staggered forward, the wind going straight through her bones. “I don't want to. Why can't I be with you?”

The hallucination chuckled and shook his head. 

_“The Maker isn't done with you yet my love. There's more to your story yet.”_

“I don't want more to my story. I want you.”

Nothing more was said. She felt her body starting to shut down. Glancing behind her, she saw the trail of blood. _When did that happen?_ There was a lot. A Lot more than should be out of her body.

She didn't know how long she had been walking. The snow hadn't let up and neither had the wind. Her body shook violently as her temperature dropped. She squinted against the treeline, seeing a small campfire. Her leg dragged uselessly behind her as she shuffled faster towards it.

Her heart dropped again. “Cold. Nothing.” She sighed as she looked around before walking off again. Doubt filled her soul. “What's the point? No one is coming. They are likely well ahead of me.”

She stumbled before falling forward. Sleep. Sleep would be good. She tried to lay down but the wood prevented her from getting comfortable. With a small cry she gripped the piece of wood and gave it a yank. 

~~~

Cullen sighed as they made camp yet again. Another search party was out again. He would glance at the pendant throughout the day as they walked, the liquid glowing fainter and fainter. His worry only increased, he didn't know if it was from distance or...

No. He refused to think like that. He said he would find her. He had to. He owed her that much. He paced back and forth, not quite sure what to do. He knew he should be doing something. The headache bloomed and he leaned the rock wall of the canyon they were in. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned towards the sound of crunching snow. Cassandra returned with the latest group, once again empty handed. She sighed and shrugged, her hands gripping her upper arms. Snow had started to trickle down, creating a small dusting over the set up tents.

“If there is a snow storm moving in, we can't risk any searches,” she said slowly. He rounded to face her, shock written on his face.

“We can't risk anymore of our people if we don't know she's alive,” she explained before he could say anything. 

“She is,” he growled. She huffed and shook her head. “Cullen you don't-”

He held the pendant up to her face, the liquid barely lighting up. Her eyes widened then she cocked her hip out and crossed her arms. “When were you going to tell me?”

He snorted and smiled slightly. “Never really. Once we found her, I was giving it back.” 

“Cold. She staggers in the snow. Pain, bright and burning. ‘I'm dying but I can choose how.’” The warriors jumped at the strange boy. His heart thudded as a flicker caught the corner of his eye. He lowered the pendant, watching the liquid flicker brighter briefly before fading again. The Seeker and Commanders eyes met. Then chaos ensued.

“Dorian! Solas! I need you with me!” Cullen began gathering members of their party, while Cassandra told the healers to prepare. Torches in hand, the group left the campsite.

He kept the pendant in front of him, watching it glow brighter as they grew closer. They paused for a moment to gather their bearings when Cassandra gripped his arm. He followed her gaze as they saw green sparking in the distance. 

“It's her,” he called and the group charged forward. Their steps were slowed by the snow and the wind blew around them, causing the green to be drowned by the white. They stopped and he held up the pendant, hoping to see it growing brighter as they grew closer. Instead it dulled completely.

“No,” he roared and continued running forward. The group trailed behind him as the wind died down enough to see the dark lump on the ground. Cullen crashed to the ground beside her. The ground around her was soaked red. 

She was almost the same color as the snow as Dorian and Solas made their way beside him. He took his mantle off, wrapping the red and black fabric around her body. Solas held his hand out, searching for any sign of life.

“Is she...” Cullen didn't see when Cassandra had landed beside him. The elf didn't move and Cullen fears for a moment they had been too late. Finally he sat back and nodded.

“She's alive but barely. We need to get her to the camp now,” he said with urgency. Cullen was already lifting her up in his arms as the group took off towards the camp. His steps were staggered from the mounting snow but the wind and falling snow had finally died down. 

It took twice the time to get back to camp and Cullen began to worry they wouldn't make it in time. The glow of the camp ahead gave him new energy he didn't know he needed and he charged forward. Solas and Dorian had run ahead and by the time he got to the healers tent, there were already people prepared for her. 

He slipped into the tent and laid her gently on the cot before being shooed away. He moved outside the tent and nearly ran headfirst into her brother. 

“Is she...” He didn't have to finish the sentence. Cullen rubbed the back of his head and shrugged. 

“Ahh... Solas says she's still alive. Now we wait.”

The wait they did. It seemed like hours before Solas and Dorian left the tent. Cullen had taken to sitting across from it, waiting to hear or see anything. 

“How is she?” He heard Noah ask. He didn't move from his spot, staring a hole into the snow covered ground. 

“She's alive... for now. She had a large hole in her side, likely from being impaled. She's lucky she didn't hit anything vital or we wouldn't be able to help her. Added with a broken bone plus concussion and hypothermia, it will be a long road to recovery.”

Noah nodded and moved to enter the tent. Cullen looked at the necklace still in his hand before standing up, tucking it into his satchel. He wanted to destroy it. Maker knows what would happen if it got into the wrong hands. Yet he wasn't sure why she kept it. He just knew it wasn't his place to destroy it.

He returned to his cot and laid on it, feeling rather uncomfortable. He didn't want to remove it in case they were ambushed during the night. Tucking his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes and let sleep take him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Panic attack, feelings of self doubt

Raised voices could be heard outside the tent. There was crunching and loud footsteps and conversations. All over loading her ears. 

“Who knew the Makers side was noisy,” Melody muttered to herself and tried to sit up. Instantly her side felt like it was being rent apart and she couldn’t hold back the cry that came from her lips. 

“Easy Songbird, don't want to undo all Chuckles work,” a voice in front of her mused. Melody looked up as the dwarf stood and eased her back down. The noise outside had died down as well.

“Varric,” she croaked. His face wasn't exactly _pale_ but it wasn't his usual rosy color. She could see the tear streaks in the dirt.

He chuckled softly and nodded, smoothing her hair out and offering her his waterskin. She took her gladly, not realizing how dry her voice and mouth actually was. After several gulps she handed it back to the dwarf.

“We thought you were dead,” he whispered. She scoffed and stared at the ceiling of the tent.

“So did I. How long was I out?”

"About a day. You were almost frozen."

She forced herself to not jump when the tent flap rustled suddenly, the blonde headed commander starting to step in without looking at her, glancing at a piece of paper. “I'm relieving you Varric.”

“I'm rather fine with him staying here if it's all the same to you,” she said weakly, suddenly aware of the pain in her body. She couldn't hold back the laugh as he jumped, nearly collapsing the tent as he hit the pole holding everything up. Pain wracked her body as she laughed which turned the laugh to a groan. 

Cullen yelled for Solas. Varric stood up to leave. All Void broke loose.

First Halei. Who wasted no time charging forward and hugging her, despite her wounds. Then Noah. Who copied Halei and jumped onto the cot, tackling his sister in a deep hug. Then her group of misfits. Cassandra, followed by Dorian, Sera, and the Iron Bull. Melody sent a silent thanks to the Maker when they didn't add to the mabari pile. She noticed Vivienne and Blackwall didn't come in, but she wasn't too hurt over that. 

It was louder now. Her head throbbed and now sleep pulled at her again.

Finally Solas arrived. Or more pushed his way through. 

“Out, all of you,” he demanded. There were grumbles and complaints but everyone soon filed out of the tent. Someone yelled _the Heralds awake_ and the once quiet outside grew loud once again.

Solas knelt at her side, hand hovering over where she had been impaled once. “I'm glad to see you live again,” he mused. Melody couldn't prevent the eyeroll that happened.

“Didn't think I would.”

“Judging by the amount of blood you lost, I'd have to agree.” The elf stopped and lowered his hands, tilting his head slightly. “What happened to your side?”

She coughed and avoided his gaze. “A wooden shard...” He frowned and looked at the wound. “How did you remove yourself from it? You should have bled out long before you reached us.”

She gave a lopsided grin, her face burning bright. “I uh... It was in me. I pulled it out before I... passed out...” She felt the elfs gaze on her and she shrugged awkwardly. “Sorry?”

Melody expected to be scolded. Maker, she wished for it. Instead Solas shook his head and peeled back the shirt she was wearing to inspect her side. She glanced down and sure enough, the magical stitching had torn apart some and she was bleeding. “Oh.”

He _tsked_ at her and started stitching her back together. She let out a hiss from the pain, throwing her bandaged arm over her face to hide the tears that formed. The burning stopped as soon as it started though. She peeked at the wound, curious. It wasn't much bigger than her palm.

“You're lucky. Another inch down and you would have severed your intestines.” Her eyes widened some, the world tipping ever so slightly, and decided _maybe_ she should lay down. So she did, her undamaged arm going back to her eyes.

Solas stayed for a few minutes longer, just to tell her to take it easy, before sweeping out the door. 

It was quieter now. Still a buzzing outside, but it was quiet. Her mind began to wander as it often did. It found its way to her father. The man who she thought hated her so much to send her to _Ferelden._

Dead.

To Darren. The man who, though stern with her, taught her to trust again. The man who she thought she would spend eternity with.

Dead.

Anders. The man who protected her, teaching her healing magic. Her first _true love_.

Dead.

She felt the chill settle over her, the tremors starting. The tingling in her gums and her tongue. She closed her eyes, feeling the panic well up inside her. Her vision blurred with tears and her chest tightened. 

Melody heard shuffling from beside her and quickly yanked her pillow out from under her. No one walked in, she knew no one was in there. She needed to hide.

_You're a coward._

_Just like in Kinloch. If you didn't hide, you could have saved her. You gave yourself to Uldred to save yourself._

_Just like in Kirkwall. If you didn't run, you could have saved Anders._

_Just like at The Conclave. If you had stayed with Darren, you could have saved him from his death._

_Just like Haven. If you had not hesitated, you could have saved your father._

_You coward._

She screamed into the pillow, drowning out the unfamiliar voice. She knew no one could hear her muffled cries. And she continued to scream, letting the chill gather over her, her breaths coming in short gasps. She couldn't feel her tongue, or her hands.

The shuffling changed into footfalls though. 

“Melody listen to me.” It was soft, calm, soothing. _Familiar._

“Listen to my voice,” it whispered softly. It was closer now, beside her head. She felt something weighted land beside her on the cot.

“Can I take your hand,” it asked and she quickly shook her head.

_Coward._

Her breathing quickened and it quickly shushed her again. “No stay with me sweetie. Listen to my voice.” It wasn't impatient. It was like a warm blanket, wrapping itself around her. Her heart slowed its quickened pace and her breathing slowed slightly.

“Good girl. I want you to take your right hand and lay it at your side, focus on what you feel. Don't say it, just think and focus on it.” She did just that. Her hand found a rough fabric.

“Good. Now focus on it.”

She closed her eyes and ran her fingers along it, picking it up and rubbing the fabric between her index finger and thumb. It was... leather? She felt the ridges in the material, the seams where it had been sewed. It was a leather glove. 

She let out a shaky exhale. Feeling had started to return, her heart slowing its pace.

“Okay I'm going to take the pillow. Keep your eyes closed for now okay?”

She shook her head, feeling her breath quicken. She didn't want them to see her like this. Not weak.

_A coward._

“Shh trust me.” She trembled as she felt the pillow get removed. Instead of it being placed on the floor, it was moved to her lap. A familiar weight. She exhaled again.

“Good. Now take a deep breath, in your nose. Out your mouth. What do you smell?” _Smell?_ She inhaled and held her breath for a second, exhaling slowly.

“Elderflower... and oakmoss,” she whispered. Why was that familiar? 

“Very good,” it mused softly. Her head was clearing, her chest no longer as tight. She inhaled and exhaled again, the scent calming her further.

Something sticky landed on her lips and her tongue instinctively flicked out.

“What do you taste?”

She swirled around in her mouth, taking in the sweet but slightly bitter taste. “Honey,” she said, her voice slightly stronger but still low. It sounded almost childlike, full of wonder. The voice chuckled, low and soft but _Maker,_ it hit just right. She felt a pit swirl in her lower stomach as her breathing evened out.

“Last thing. Open your eyes. What do you see?”

She turned her head towards the voice and slowly opened her eyes. Amber orbs stared back at her, concern filling them. She inhaled deeply as her heart flipped in her chest.

“Cullen.” It came out on her exhale and he gave a lopsided smile before returning to his serious _Commander_ face.

“Are you alright,” he said softly, talking as if he was talking to a wild animal. Melodys eyes never left his, taking in his scent, his face, his eyes. Committing it to memory. 

“I...” she suddenly looked away, remembering what started all this. Her face turned bright red and she started at her bandaged leg. Then she frowned. “When did you get in here?”

Now he was red, his hand moving to his neck. “I uhh never left. That is when everyone else did. I was going to. After Solas left, I was going to leave. Then...” He trailed off and she nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Her voice was small, full of shame. _Like a coward._

Cullen made a small noise but nodded. He stood up from where he knelt and turned to walk towards the entrance of the tent. “I have attacks too,” he whispered. Melody looked at him but didn't say anything. 

He paused suddenly and reached into his pocket. He walked back to where she still lay and held something out to her. Her eyes fell on the liquid in his hand.

“I figured you'd destroy it,” she whispered and quickly put it around her neck. Her rings had found their way back on it and she gripped them in her fist.

“Not mine to destroy,” he said with a shrug. “Have a good night Herald.” He started back towards the exit.

_You're a coward._

“I'm a coward,” she agreed out loud. Her hand flew to her mouth as she realized what she had said. Tears sprung free and the sob tore itself from her chest. Cullen was at her side again, his voice once again soothing her. 

“Why do you think that,” he whispered softly. Minutes passed before her sobs ebbed away and she sat up, staring at her lap. 

Cullen filled a cup with water from the pitcher on the far table and handed it to her. Melody took it with a nod of thanks and sipped it. She remained silent to his question.

“You're far from a coward,” Cullen said and put a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head.

“No, I'm not. I'm the very definition of it.” Tears threatened to fall. “My entire life I've spent running and hiding from.”

“Melody, you aren't-”

“At Kinloch,” she whispered and watched as he froze and paled. “I _hid._ I hid and watched as my best friend was torn apart by demons.” She shuddered as she remembered the girls screams. Bile rose but she forced it back down. “When Uldred found me, I _let_ him take me. I was scared of dying.” She sipped more water.

“I ran the night before the battle of Denerim because I was _scared._ I kept saying it was because of Leliana. Because I didn't want to watch anyone else die. But it was because _I was scared.”_

Melody took a breath and closed her eyes. “Then Kirkwall. I ran because I was _scared_ . Scared because I _knew_ Anders would kill you for what you did. For what you... caused.” Her voice was nothing more than a strangled whimper. 

“You didn't run in Starkhaven,” Cullen whispered and she stared at him, mouth wide open.

“You didn't run when Rylen was in that bar fight,” he said softly. His mouth lifted into a smirk. “You didn't run from his bed.” Melodys face flushed red and she quickly closed her mouth. 

He returned to his serious expression. “You didn't run when patrol after patrol was sent after you.” She scoffed and shook her head. 

“No I ran because Darren told me to. And look what happened.” Melody sniffed and set the cup down. “I should be dead with him.”

“Melody don't say that-”

“No Cullen I should,” she whispered, trying to keep from raising her voice. “We had a fight and I _ran_ from him.” She gripped the rings on her necklace and squeezed her eyes shut. “We were separated when the explosion...” 

Melody shook her head and threw her hand down in frustration. “Then my own _father..._ I could have saved him.” Her voice dropped again to a whisper.

“No you couldn't Melody-”

“Yes I could. I knew his Silence wouldn't stop me. Templar powers can't stop blood magic, you know that.”

The man stiffened beside her and she looked at him, his amber gaze now solid gold. She would see his jaw working. “Melody you know the dangers of blood magic and you don't even know if it would have worked.” His voice was short and harsh. _Like a Templars should be._ The familiar voice was back again and it comforted her.

“Yes I do,” she uttered softly. 

“Melody how would you-” He stopped and she watched him pale as realization hit him. “Melody you haven't...”

Melody didn't look at him. Didn't tell him. Didn't have to. 

She heard metal ring out and she looked up at him. He looked younger now and the fear in his eyes was hard to miss. “You're a blood mage,” he whispered. His sword was pointed at her and she swung herself off the bed, grimacing from the pain.

“You going to kill me,” she asked softly. She leaned forward so that the point pressed lightly to her skin. Enough to indent, not enough to make her bleed.

“You... I need to,” Cullen said softly. She watched his face, seeing the fear written on it. She nodded and placed her hands in her lap and sighed. “Then do it.”

“Wh-what?” Cullens eyes widened and she swallowed. “Do it Commander. You still have a duty to protect the people of Haven. I'm a liability.” Her lilac eyes never left his amber ones.

Melody watched as he swallowed and she closed her eyes. A tear slipped out and she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally the sword moved and she waited for the familiar pain to hit her. Instead she heard the sword return to its scabbard. She opened her eyes. Cullen stared down at her, his jaw set, eyes cold. “Do you actively practice,” he asked in a low hard voice. She shook her head and stared at the ground before her.

“Not for two years. It was one and done.”

“It's _never_ one and done Melody,” he snarled and she felt the familiar electricity rushing through her body. 

“I told you I was a coward,” she said lowly. “I turned to it because I knew it could save Darren from dying. I was afraid of being alone without him.” Melody wrapped her arm around her, trying to force her inner thoughts to calm.

This time he didn't argue.

“I shouldn't be letting you live,” Cullen muttered darkly. She watched his hands tremble. 

“Then fucking kill me,” she growled. _I'll protect you. He's a Templar. You could never be friends._

_Stop it. You aren't helping. Never should have said yes._

Cullen shook his head and glared at her. “The people need their Herald alive. It gives them hope. You may have betrayed my trust but like you said, I have a duty to protect them.” He walked towards her and she saw how pale and shaken he really was. She felt the electric bristle under her skin, making her hair stand up.

“You are to report to me, every day. If I even _think_ you are practicing again, there will be no second chances.” His voice, though shaken, held promise and she nodded.

“Understood _Ser Knight_ ,” she sneered and he turned to leave. She collapsed back onto the bed and sighed, bringing the pillow back to her face.

“A coward wouldn’t run to a dragon and whoever that Elder One is to let an entire village escape,” Cullen whispered, voice softer now, before leaving the tent for good.

~~~

Melody groaned. Two days had passed since she woke up and it had been constant arguing from the leaders. Her head throbbed almost daily. It was night now and she wanted nothing more than to sleep. Finally she stood up and limped over to the tent flap, ripping it open.

“For the love of the Maker, shut _up!_ You've been at it for hours! No one wants to hear it anymore! Some people would like to actually sleep” 

Everyone froze and looked at the Herald. She used the tents support to hold herself up. Her glare held up as the group slowly started dispersing, Lelianas bright blue gaze hovering over hers for a moment before leaving. 

“Come child, you need rest,” a smooth voice called to her. She looked over to see Mother Giselle striding towards her and she allowed herself to be helped back to her tent. She sat on the cot with an _oompf_ and put her hands in her head.

“They've been at it for hours,” she whispered softly. The mother just smiled and sat in the chair beside her. 

“They have that luxury thanks to you. With time to doubt, we turned to blame.” Melody snorted and lifted her head.

“Imagine that. I survive having a mountain fall on me and my only thanks is listening to people argue for hours.”

Mother Giselle put a comforting hand on her shoulder and smiled. “The people are more thankful than you think.” She leaned back in the chair and glanced out where the argument had happened. “Infighting threatens us as much as this... _Corypheus_ does.”

Melody groaned and rubbed her face. “If they are trying to figure out what to do next, I should be out there helping.”

Mother Giselle laughed softly and shook her head. “Another heated voice won't help. Even yours. Perhaps especially yours.” Melodys face flushed red and she glanced out the tent.

“The leaders struggle because of what we saw. We saw our defender stand... then fall. Now we see her _return.”_ Melody had to force herself not to roll her eyes.

“I survived an avalanche. Barely, but I didn't die.”

The woman just shrugged. “Of course, and people can't come back from across the Veil. But the people know what they saw.”

Melody sighed and glanced outside the tent. The four leaders had separated and were just awkwardly standing around at this point. She stood up and limped outside the tent, against her better judgement.

She walked out into the camp, not quite sure what to do or say. Then the singing started. 

Melody thought it was just the cleric, singing to pass the time. Then everyone started to join in.

Her heart thudded as she struggled to not run. She glanced around and saw even the leaders had joined in. Her heart stuttered as her and Cullens gaze met and she looked away. She saw Solas standing off in the distance. Seeing her exit, she limped forward.

“Couldn't take the attention,” he said lightly. 

Melody rolled her eyes and sighed. “They think I came back from the dead. I wasn't ever dead.”

“Close enough.”

Melody shifted uncomfortably and found herself leaning on the elf who allowed her to oddly enough. “What will we do Solas? We have nowhere to go.”

Solas glanced over at her and smiled slightly. “There is a place. To the north. We will be safe there.”

Melody leaned up and looked at him curiously. “How do you know that?”

He chuckled and shrugged. “The same way I know you still dream of demons and your lost loves. Or our Commander.” 

Her face flushed and she cleared her throat. 

“So ahh what do you know of our enemy? Any insight?”

Solas nodded, all traces of mirth gone. Instead he was frowning.

“The orb he had, the one he used to control your mark. Its Elven.”

Melody nodded and sighed. “Which means if it gets out, they are going to want to blame the elves.”

Solas nodded and Melody straightened herself up. “I understand.” She paused and looked into the darkness. “Will you help me lead them there?”

“Of course.We would likely be lost otherwise.” She smiled and patted his shoulder, turning to walk away. Her leg shook and threatened to give out but she pushed through it. Until she nearly fell as she made it to the general campsite.

Most everyone had fallen asleep or retired for the night so she was glad no one was around when her weakened leg finally gave out. Thank the Maker she managed to keep her cry of pain down. Last thing she needed was someone to see her like this.

“My dear Herald, whatever are you doing down there?” She smirked and glanced up at the now approaching Altus. “Decided I wanted a dirt nap. Care to join me?”

Dorian scoffed and held out his hand, helping her back to her feet. “My dear, you couldn't pay me enough to lay on this ground.” 

“Evidently I do since you do it for me.”

“Only for you dear. Only for you.” She smiled and wrapped her arm around his waist to let him lead her to her tent. Melody laid her head on his shoulder, soaking in the smell of whatever wine he had found, the spicy scent of electricity and whatever product he used in his hair. 

They made it to her tent where Dorian let her hobble over to her cot. He watched her cautiously, watching as she hissed in pain once she relaxed. 

“Wouldn't happen to have any of that wine on you would you,” she asked with a grimace. Her friend shook his head and she sighed. “Of course not.”

Dorian smiled and came to stand beside her. “You shouldn't be drinking anyway. Not like I would stop you. But you should be focused on healing up. Cant have my new friend off and dying again.”

Melody looked up at him with bright, hopeful eyes. “So you're staying?”

The tent flap opened and she watched as Cullen stepped inside. Dorian glanced between the two and nodded with a smile. “Oh didn’t I mention? The South is so charming and rustic. I adore it to little pieces.”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Not more charming than you my dear Pavus,” she teased and released his hand. “There's no one id rather be stranded with- future or otherwise.” 

“Yes we do seem to be stranded yet again don't we?” Dorian patted her hand and stood to leave, flashing a smile at the commander as he left.

“Getting awfully close to the Tevinter magister aren't you,” Cullen sneered and she felt her good mood melt instantly. 

“Sorry I need some _true_ friends around,” Melody replied sweetly before rubbing her temples, trying to force her headache down. “Jealous it's not you?”

Cullen opened his mouth but only managed to sputter over her words. She grinned and tilted her head. “Cat got your tongue?”

He finally glared and huffed. “I was coming to see if you needed anything,” he said through gritted teeth. She shook her head and shrugged. “Nope, Dorian helped me get settled.”

Cullen gave her a sharp nod but didn't move from his spot. Melody rolled her eyes and rolled her sleeves up to show her arms and hands. “I'm sleeping fine, I'm not possessed, and I'm not using any magic right now so you know I'm not practicing.” 

Cullen sighed and she looked at him with sudden annoyance. “Do you want me to strip naked for you Commander? Will that make you feel better?”

Melody watched his eyes widen and his face turn bright red. “Ahh no! No that's not... Makers breath Melody.” She laughed as he became more flustered and shrugged, lowering down into her covers. “Are you satisfied Commander? I'm still the same person I was when you came in here yesterday. I'll be the same person tomorrow.”

He nodded and finally relaxed, a little at least. “I... yes,” he muttered, shame filling his voice. She glanced at him and sighed, feeling a bit guilty for her attitude. 

“I know you are just doing what you need to,” she whispered and gave him a lopsided grin. “Kinda my fault honestly. Darren... he never knew what I did but I think he suspected. He would always wake me whenever I had a rougher night, and his blade wasn't too far away when we slept.” 

Cullen nodded and let his shoulders slump. “I should let you get some rest. Good night Herald,” he whispered. She nodded to him as he left and smiled to herself. Tomorrow they would leave for their new home.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Miscarriage.  
> Sorry this took so long to get out. It was a struggle for me to write these next two chapters also quarantine depression has been REAL.  
> The next couple chapters will be on the darker side just as a head up. Stay safe loves <3

Melody wandered through Skyhold, glancing around at the people bustling around. They had been here for a few days now. There was so much to explore of the crumbling yet still sturdy fortress. So far so they just determined where to keep the stables and a couple training areas. Repairs were slow moving but at least they were started.

She watched Halei running around with some of the other children, playing what looked like tag, one kid chasing the group around. She couldn’t help but smile softly at the girl. She had grown a lot in the last month but she still woke regularly from nightmares during the night. When the elf wasn’t waking up crying, she was pulling Melody out of the grasps of her own. They had come to rely on each other.

Melody shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. The once blood red locks were starting to fade, the white showing more and more everyday and making it an almost pale pink color. She couldn’t say she hated it, it made her feel more like herself. Like the girl she was ten years ago. But she wasn’t. Too much had happened in that time frame.

She looked at the leaders who stood in a circle by the stairs, all seeming to talk to each other. Her purple gaze met the golden ones and she quickly glanced away. The leaders needed to know. It's not like they could do anything about it now, they needed her. Corypheus was still out there which meant more rifts. After everything was all said and done... Well she would deal with that when it got there. When she looked up, Cassandra was motioning her over.

Melodys legs still felt like lead, her injured one still giving her grief. _Probably from walking on it when I most definitely should not have._ Cullen must have beat her to informing them, making her heart race. Why was she worried? They couldn’t do anything to her yet anyway. She just established that. Yet when she finally made it to them, they all had a small smile on their faces. Even Cullen.

The circle dispersed when she finally got close enough to Cassandra and she couldn’t help but laugh. “What did I do to make everyone run from me?”

“You survived a mountain falling on you. I would think that would make anyone give you a wide berth,” the warrior chuckled then started walking away. Melody shrugged and followed behind her, walking up the stairs. “If word has reached the settlements of your survival, it has most definitely reached the Elder One. We have a more defensible position now but this extends beyond the war we were trying to fight.” 

Cassandra stopped at the stairs and turned to face Melody, her face more serious now. “Now we know what brought him to you, what helped you stand against.”

She nodded and lifted her hand, the mark faintly glowing. “He wanted the Anchor, or whatever he called it, and now it's useless. So he wants me dead. Wouldn't be the first time.” 

Cassandra scoffed and shook her heading, walking off again. “Your mark may hold power, but we know that's not why you still live. You've made decisions that allowed us to heal the sky. You brought us out of Haven, you sacrificed yourself to allow us to escape.” 

Melody frowned and followed her up the other sets of stairs. She didn't want to be _herofied_. She wanted to be normal again. She almost wished she had never let Darren convince her to go to the Conclave. He would still be alive. Her father would still be alive. The knot formed in her throat and her eyes burned but she quickly blinked them back.

“He wants you dead because of what you did. What we all saw. We saw you face him, stare down death and come back from it.”

They reached the top of the stairs and Melody glanced over at Leliana, who was holding a sword out in front of her. Cassandra turned to face her, her hands clasped behind her back. “The Inquisition needs a leader, and who better than the woman who has already been leading her?”

Melody looked at the women in front of her then at the crowd that had begun to gather at the foot of the stairs. Her heart thudded heavily in her chest and she felt panic start to grip her. Every gaze was on her and she suddenly turned to Cassandra with a soft frown. “Wouldn’t one of you be better suited to lead? I mean, you all have been here much longer than I.” She didn't want to lead, didn't want to be responsible for all the lives looking at her. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

Cassandra gave a small laugh and shrugged. “Did you forget the fighting while you healed? All the arguments in the War Room? We would probably still be arguing if it weren't for your decision and voice.”

“But I'm a mage,” she stressed and ran a hand through her hair to try and calm herself. “You can’t possibly want a mage in charge of this.”

“I won't pretend no one will object,” the Seeker said slowly. “But the times are changing and perhaps this is what the Maker intends. We need you.”

Melody walked forward and looked over the sword. It wouldn’t see much use and it was still very beautiful. The gold colored dragon on the hilt shined brightly in the sun, suddenly setting her at ease. She focused on the blade, the silverite reflecting her face, causing her to miss the rest of Cassandras words. 

“You really think I can do this,” she asked softly to no one in particular. A warm breeze blew through and wrapped around them. She thought she could smell the familiar sandalwood and leather she spent years surrounded by. She reached out and grabbed the sword, feeling the balance of it. It was perfect for her.

“Corypheus must be stopped,” she said in a louder voice. She turned to face the crowd, her stomach flipping around and her legs growing shaky. Cassandra smiled and nodded. 

“Wherever you lead us.” She walked to the edge of the landing and called out over the crowd. Melody sent a silent thanks to the Maker for her taking over. “Have our people been told?”

Josephine smiled and nodded. “And soon, the world.”

“Commander, will they follow?”

Melody felt her heart stutter as their gaze met and he smirked and turned to the soldiers standing behind him. “Inquisition! Will you follow?” 

The roar was thunderous and she felt herself filled with a new possessive energy.

“Will you fight?”

The doubt that had filled her was gone, her heart thudding with excitement. She was ready. She could lead. 

“Will we triumph?”

Yes.

She knew in her heart, this would end. Corypheus would not win. Not on her watch. 

“Your leader. Your Herald. Your Inquisitor.” She inhaled as she watched the Commander draw his blade and point it towards her, the crowds now rising in a thunderous roar that would surely cause another avalanche. Melody couldn't hold back her shaky smile as she pointed her blade into the air. 

The crowd died down as Cullen and Josephine walked up to the landing and they made their way into what looked like the main hall of the fortress. There was debris scattered throughout the room. Melody chuckled softly and shook her head. “So this is where it begins.”

They continued walking into the room when Leliana finally spoke. “It began in the courtyard. This is where we just keep our word.”

“We know nothing about this Corypheus except he wants your mark. What can we do?” Melody couldn't help but frown at the ambassadors tone.

“I don't know about him, but that dragon looked an awful lot like an Archdemon,” she whispered and ran her hand through her hair. “Fuck,” she groaned and began pacing, becoming more frustrated. “This is exactly what we need. A darkspawn Tevinter magister claiming he entered the Black City _and_ another damn Blight.”

“We haven’t seen any darkspawn topside,” Josephine said in a soothing tone. “It's possible it's not an Archdemon at all.” Melody huffed and chuckled. 

“You’ve never seen one. It looks awfully close to the one we saw in the Deep Roads,” she said and looked at Leliana who had remained silent. 

“Whatever it is, we can’t ignore it.” Cullen finally stepped forward and shrugged, looking at the almost near panicked Inquisitor. “It gives Corypheus too much of an advantage on us.”

She nodded and sighed, throwing her hands down to her waist. “I sent Alistair a message. Before I met Corypheus,” Melody said softly, Leliana raised an eyebrow at her but didn't say anything. “He knows about the dragon. We need to find these other Wardens.”

“I think I can help,” a bright scratchy voice came from behind Josephine. Melody smiled at Varric and nodded to him. “Everyone acting all inspirational got my brain jogging so I sent a message to an old friend. She's dealt with Corypheus before.” 

Melody nodded and smiled. “That's the first piece of good news I've heard all day. Introduce me.”

Now Varric looked uncertain and started looking around. “Varric, is this something I should know about?” He scrunched up his face and waved his hands away as if he was batting the thought away. “No no. Just parading around here _might_ cause some issues. Come meet us on the battlements.” He turned to walk away before Melody could say anything else.

“Well now we have leads on both fronts,” Josephine said softly and walked away. Cullen nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder before walking off himself. Only Leliana remained and she turned to look at the spymaster.

“I know one thing. If it's who I think it is, Cassandra may kill Varric.” 

“She better not. He's my best friend.”

“Hmm... I remember when I held that spot once,” Leliana whispered softly. Melody sighed and rubbed her arm. “Leli...”

“Im teasing Mel,” the woman whispered and approached her slowly with her head lowered. “You were a great friend and I will always treasure it. I wouldn’t mind if we were to do it again.”

Melody nodded and gave her a brief hug before wandering off.

~~~

Melody made her rounds around the courtyard, talking to her followers. She felt kind of bad because she hadn’t talked to Sera much after she made it to Haven. They had a couple drinks here and there. 

“So its Inquisitor now huh,” the elf said with a snort. Melody chuckled and shrugged. “I suppose. Or you could keep calling me Melody. I don’t like all of these titles anyway.”

The girl snorted and glared at her. She realized that she wasn't exactly happy right now.

“Remember that war we talked about? Little baddies I could fill with little arrows? Not a freaking Archdemon is it?”

“Sera i'm sorry. I didn't expect it either,” Melody whispered and plopped down on the ground beside the elf. “Maker knows if I knew there was an Archdemon involved _we_ would never have been there.”

They sat and talked about the ‘little people’, about what was real and not. It made her feel better, knowing that she wasn’t the only person having some doubts.

“Keep talking like that and you're going to sound not completely crazy,” Melody teased and leaned over to push the rogue over with her shoulder. She laughed and pushed her back. “I know. Scary innit?”

Melody stood up and glanced around. She wanted to talk to Cullen before going to talk to Varrics friend. Something in her gut told her to put off the meeting as long as possible. She said goodbye to her friend and started off.

She roamed the courtyard for a minute before seeing Cullen standing at a makeshift table. She slowly made her way over, hearing him giving orders to his soldiers. She couldn't help but laugh as one lingered too long, resulting in a barking _Now_ from the commander. The man scurried off and she laughed louder.

“Poor man may have to change his smallclothes before anything,” she managed out and Cullen turned to face her. His hand rubbed the back of his neck and his face flushed.

“We set up as best we could at Haven. We weren’t prepared for an Archdemon though,” he whispered and she nodded, looking over at the papers on his makeshift desk. 

“No one was. I was hoping to never see one again,” she said and picked up a list that had names. 

“A list of the fallen,” he said in a somber tone. She glanced it over, her stomach clenching over as her eyes fell on her fathers name. Melody quickly lowered the list back to the table, trying to force her tears back. One escaped and fell on the paper. She saw Cullen reach for her and she shook her head, looking up and rubbing her eyes.

“So I'm your boss now. How the tables have turned,” she said quickly in a cheerful tone. He paused and opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. 

“So it would seem, Inquisitor,” he muttered and she chuckled, sitting on his desk. “Do we really have to say titles? Can’t we just use each others names?”

“Perhaps in the War Room but out here, I would prefer it to be... more professional,” Cullen said dryly and Melody couldn’t hold back her eye roll.

“Anyways,” he said and returned to his reports on the desk. “If Corypheus strikes again, we must be ready. We cannot run like we did in Haven. Nor would I want to. As you've seen we have already started work on repairing Skyhold and guard rotations have already started. Everything should be up and running within the week, Inquisitor.”

Melody nodded and bit her lip. “Inquisitor Trevelyan. Imagine that. Don’t you think it sounds... odd? An apostate mage from the famous fallen Fereldan Circle turning into the leader of the rebellious Inquisition.”

Cullen raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “Of course not. You traveled with the Hero of Ferelden during the Blight. You’ve seen more action than any of the soldiers here, that experience could be invaluable. Not to mention your more erm... roguish ways.”

Melody smirked but nodded. She knew he wasn’t wrong. “I just hope I will make a good leader,” she said softly and now he stood up with a softness on his face. “I have faith you will Melody.”

Her face flushed red at the way he said her name. It was gentle, soothing. Her stomach fluttered and she suddenly felt the need to leave. She turned to leave but stopped as Cullen gently grabbed her wrist. A blue spark danced from her hand and a soft _zap_ sounded as it connected with Cullens hand. He pulled back and she tightened her lips, admonishing her inner self. 

_Was that really necessary?_

_I won’t apologize if that's what you are wanting._

“Our escape from Haven... It was close,” she said after a moment passed. “I'm glad that you- that so many made it.” She closed her eyes, the urge to scream at the slipup angering her.

“So am I.” Her heart sank at his words. Was he glad she escaped? Or the others? She hoped it was the latter. He didn't need to be falling for her, not when her heart still belonged to her now long gone love. Her hand moved itself to grip the rings around her neck, holding them tightly. She was able to move on from Anders, before she ever knew he was gone, why was she so determined to keep a hold of Darren?

“You could have died,” Cullen whispered and she opened her eyes, seeing his steely gaze on her. “I will not allow the events at Haven happen again. You have my word.”

She gave him a small smile and shrugged. “Be pretty shitty of you as a Commander if you did huh?”

He chuckled lightly and closed the space between them. “It would be, wouldn't it,” he whispered and he raised his hand to brush back a white strand of hair from her face. She felt her breath hitch in her throat and quickly pulled away, her eyes bright with tears.

“Stop doing things like that. I am _everything_ you hate. I can’t be what you need.” she quickly rubbed her eyes as a tear threatened to fall and jogged off, leaving the golden eyes of the lion watching her with longing.

~~~

The sun was setting now. Melody sniffled and rubbed her tear stained face. She was better than this. Better than crying over stupid ridiculous feelings. She had spent the last hour crying. She had yet to grieve properly and what better way than hiding away in one of the towers? 

She had found one with a loft, that way she didn’t run the risk of any soldiers seeing her. It had a hole in the roof that let in the now orange light. She needed to meet with Varrics friend. They had been left waiting for too long as it was. With a deep breath, Melody made her way down the ladder and headed off to find them.

“I was wondering what took so long Songbird,” Varric said then frowned when he caught sight of her face. “Melody what’s wrong?”

“Nothing Varric,” she said with a forced grin. He frowned and opened his mouth to say something but the flutter of fabric behind her made him pause. Melody reached for her pocket blade but a hand gripped her wrist.

“Now, now little bird. Wouldn’t want to kill your only Corypheus informant now would you?”

Melody turned quickly at the voice, her heart racing again. “Charisma,” she whispered. Charisma Hawke stared back at Melody, her electric blue eyes hard hard. Her wine colored hair was braided into a bun against the nap of her neck, more pulled together than the care-free rogue than ran around Kirkwall.

“I figured she could give more information on Corypheus. We did fight him together,” Varric quipped and leaned against the battlements.

“Wait you’ve fought Corypheus,” Melody almost yelled, turning to the dwarf whose eyes were wide from the outburst. “The _entire month_ we walked here you never thought to tell me? He almost killed me Varric!” Now her temper was starting to rise.

“Come now Melody, he wasn’t the only one keeping secrets now was he,” Charisma sneered. Melody turned to her and glared. 

“You know nothing,” she growled and folded her hands into a fist. The familiar fire burned in her stomach and it was taking all her resolve to not burn the woman who she once called friend.

“Oh really? You would have known about our battle if you hadn’t _abandoned us,_ ” the rogue now yelled.

“You don’t know why I left,” Melody yelled back and took a step towards Hawke. Her old friend smirked and crossed her arms. “Oh sweetie, I know more than you think.”

“Whats going on?”

Melody tensed at the baritone voice behind her and Varric waved him over. “Curly! Perfect timing! Maybe you can help me keep these two from killing each other.”

Cullen walked up beside Melody with his hand on his pommel, watching the two women carefully. “Half the courtyard heard your yelling. What is going on?”

“Hello Knight-Captain,” Hawke said darkly. Melody took another step forward with a glare.

“That's not his title.”

Hawke raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh what is this? _You_ are defending a Templar? The same one that tried to kill you? What would Anders, little bird?”

“Don't say his name.” Melody felt the familiar blue electricity flow through her body and she out her head into her hands as a dull pain grew behind her eyes.

“Melody what's wrong,” Cullen whispered and reached for her but she quickly moved away staggering slightly. Even Varric stood up and started to move towards her.

“What would he say about you protecting the man that took everything away from him,” the Champion pushed more and Melody could feel her will thinning.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Melody spat, her gaze meeting the blue ones staring at her.

“Anders seemed to think so. You didn't see him after you left Melody!” Now Hawke was yelling again and Melody took a deep breath and stood up.

“He was _distraught_ after you left! He gave up!”

“Hawke I think that's enough.” Varrics tone was soft but held some warning.

“Stop.” Melodys breaths were becoming shorter and harder, the edges of her vision going red. The familiar magic sparked under her skin. Cullen must have felt it because he turned to her with a hand out, trying to calm her down.

Hawke however did not notice. Or chose to ignore it.

“No! You know, he wanted to kill him!” She pointed at Cullen who stiffened, his hand gripping his sword tighter now. “He took you and the baby away, the only things he cared about!” Melodys stomach turned as the memory of the miscarriage forced itself to the front of her head.

“Stop it,” Melody yelled back, falling to her knees as the magic under her skin threatened to burst.

_Please stop!_

_I won’t let her talk about him like that!_

“Damn it Chari, I brought you here to help not fight!”

“It's your fault he blew up the Chantry!” Hawke had tears rolling down her cheeks but Melody didn't notice, struggling to keep from self-destructing.

“You killed him,” Melody whispered. Hawke scoffed and shook her head.

“I _loved_ him Melody. I took care of him after you left. I’m the one who held him when he cried. I’m the one who tried fixed what _you_ broke! But he didn't love me like he loved you.”

“You killed him.” Her voice was louder, though it was doubled with another deeper voice. 

Hawke stepped forward and threw her hands down. “He never would have blown up the Chantry if you hadn’t left him! I _loved him_ and it killed me but I couldn’t let him live!”

“STOP!” Blue lightning shot across the battlements in a wide arch. She stood up and started to move towards the Champion but strong arms wrapped around her waist, pinning her arms down.

Hawke looked at her in fear, Varrics eyes wide before softening with sadness. The realization hit them at the same time.

“Songbird what did you do?”

“Hello Justice,” Hawke cooed. 

“You killed Anders! She was waiting for him!” The spirit struggled against the ex-templar, blue lightning forming at his hands.

“Melody stop this. I don't want to hurt you,” Cullen grunted. He could feel the electricity rolling off her, licking at his exposed face and neck.

“So Anders dies and you jump to the next closest body to help further your agenda?” Hawkes voice was full of malice and Varric gripped her wrist.

“C’mon Hawke, lets go. You’ve done enough damage here.”

“He asked me to watch her! To make sure she was SAFE! Anders and I were one! She didn't make him do anything!” The spirits' voice cracked as Cullen whispered the words for _Silence_. 

Hawke narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “She saw what you did to Anders. Why would she ever say yes to you?”

The spirit struggled more, not as strong now as its grip on her body slipping from the spell. 

“Melody, I need you to come back,” he said sharply. There was fear in his voice and even being hidden away from the group, the conversation in her cabin in Haven rang through. _He couldn’t kill her if she lost control. If Justice became Vengeance..._

“I never had any plans to possess her! Just watch her, like I promised. I _begged_ her to let me help in Haven when she went to meet Corypheus, the monster YOU failed to kill. She agreed when she realized the village hadn’t escaped and she was nearly dead.” 

Lightning sparked in her palm but not enough to be able to cast anything. The words of the _Silence_ were whispered again and this time, the purple returning to her eyes.

Melody slumped in Cullens arms, her body trembling in his embrace. She took a deep breath to slow her racing heart, glaring up at the woman looking at her.

“Anders sent me away to keep me safe,” Melody spat out. “I was already losing the baby before Cullen attacked. He picked up on it just before... There was nothing we could do to stop it.” She sighed and shook her head. 

“I used to consider you a sister, Charisma. We could have started patching things up. But not now. You’ve changed.” Melody righted herself and pushed away from the commander and stalked forward. “Now we play by _my_ rules. You will be at our War Table meeting tomorrow. You will present your findings to my advisors. And you will _leave._ If you see you here again, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

Hawke got ready to retort but Varric quickly pulled her away. Melody huffed and ran a hand through her hair before leaning against the wall behind her and sliding down it. Her body throbbed and the nausea rolled in her stomach. She leaned her head but against the cool stone. 

She felt the gaze on her, almost burning.

“If you’re going to say something, say it now.”

The scuffling of boots could be heard before the voice. “Are you okay?”

"Am- Am I okay?"

"You just got hit with two _Silence._ You shouldn't be conscious ."

Melody couldn't help but let out a laugh out loud. Which was the wrong move. Bile rose in her stomach and she quickly stood up and staggered to the edge of the battlements, emptying out her stomach.

She noticed Cullen hadn’t moved, not that she expected him to. “Well besides that I'm fine.”

He let out a soft _hmm_ and crossed his arms. She shook her head and glanced back at him, seeing his empty gaze. “Whatever you need to say, say it now. Before I start getting pissed,” she snapped. He stiffened and nodded, his eyes remaining guarded.

“You’re possessed.”

“No more possessed than Cole.” She paused and shook her head. “Actually less. I am always me. Cole is... well Cole.”

“He hides himself well, only coming out to protect,” the soft voice came out. Both people jumped as Cole revealed himself perched beside Melody on the edge of the battlements. “I want to trust but every turn she takes more. She's an abomination, I should be-”

“Stop.” Cullens voice was harsh, his scarred lip raised in a snarl. Melody stepped forward, wrapping an arm around the boy. 

“He's just telling me how you really feel Commander,” she said softly, yet she couldn’t hide the hurt in her voice. Cole nodded and looked up at her.

“You keep your heart guarded. Why? He's dead. You can be happy with someone else. Like you did after Anders. Darren would want it.”

“Cole.” Her tone was firm, but not unkind. “Meet me in my tent, we can talk there.” He nodded then in a blink, was gone.

Melody looked at Cullen, whose face was firm with rage and hurt. “You can’t kill me yet Commander.” She raised her hand, gently illuminating their faces. “You need me. Once this shit with Corypheus is done, you can take me out back and put me down like a rabid mabari if that is your wish.” She started to walk away but paused. "This is why I asked if you would kill me if I were to be possessed. It won't take much for... For it to happen."

His eyes widened some but she didn’t want to argue with him anymore. She had enough for one day. There will be too much damage control to do tomorrow anyway. She needed to tell the Inner Circle at the meeting. This went on too long.

She made it to her tent and flopped on the bed, burying her face in the pillow. She was faintly aware of Cole coming in but she didn't move. They would talk. But right now? Right now she wanted to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Morning came too soon. The birds chirped cheerfully outside her tent. She could hear the soldiers starting to workout, people bustling around to start making the fortress a home. She hadn’t conversed with Cole as planned. He remained with her throughout the night, occasionally speaking when she woke from a bad dream or her body tried to tell her it was time to wake up.

Melody sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. She needed to get ready for the War Room meeting. That she had called. There could be no more lies. No more secrets. Her companions needed to know. After yesterdays lightshow, there would be questions.

She slowly rose to her feet and moved to search the clothing chest, pulling out a blue blouse and beige colored leggings. She hadn’t bothered changing into her night clothes before she crashed, so her basic tan on tan outfit was crumpled and didn't exactly smell the best. She needed to bath.

Her tent didn't have many things in it but she found something to use as a bowl as she filled it with ice then melted it down with a small flame. Once she was as clean as she could get, Melody leaned over and grabbed the purple-blue vial and drank it quickly. Since Noah had shown up, he had hounded her to make sure she was taking care of herself. Including the daily potion to keep any attacks away.

Melody slowly left the safety of her tent, pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail. She made the slow climb to the main hall, taking care as she entered to not trip over any fallen debris. The walk to the War Room felt like it took ages. Not that she was rushing to get there. She didn't even know what to say. Only Cullen knew the total truth.

Sighing, she paused outside the door to collect herself. It was now or never. She pushed it open and saw all the expectant eyes on her.

“Well look who decided to show up,” she heard Charisma sneer. Melody clenched her fist but didn't respond.

“Thank you everyone for coming. I realize it's early-”

“Who's really talking right now?” She looked at the Champion who was moved to stand in front of everyone. Melody sighed and tapped on the table. She felt the burning gazes and knew they were questioning her.

“I am me. As I always have been.”

“So what was that on the battlements yesterday?” That was Blackwall. She looked at the Warden and straightened to her full height.

“That was-”

“She's possessed,” Hawke said dryly. Instantly the room erupted in chaos. Panic filled her and she leaned over the table, burying her head in her heads. She felt a hand rest on her arm as Cole showed up, gently comforting her.

“Enough.” The order rang out over the crowd and she sat up to see Cullen had moved to stand beside her. “Continue Inquisitor.”

Melody nodded and threaded her fingers in her hands. “Hawke... is not wrong. It wasn’t until Haven that it happened. Before he... it just followed me, giving me advice. Indirectly protecting me.”

“So you said yes to a demon? How can we trust you aren’t working for Corypheus,” Vivienne called out harshly. Melody closed her eyes and sighed. “I am not possessed by a demon. If I was, don’t you think the Commander would have run me through by now?”

She saw the man stiffen next to her but he didn't say anything. “It is... a spirit of Justice. The only reason I survived Haven is because I agreed to let him take over. Otherwise I would have died long before Corypheus showed up and none of you would have escaped.” She huffed and chuckled, shaking her head. “The way I see it, you all owe it yours lives.”

“How do we truly know you are who you say you are?” It was Hawke again, challenging her. 

“Varric knows me better than anyone in this room, he's also had experience with Justice,” Melody said slowly. “Varric do I look like I’m under the influence of a spirit?”

The dwarf raised his eyebrows and chuckled. “No Songbird, you are still the same person you have been.” Melody nodded and held her hands out. 

“There you have it.”

“You are still susceptible to possession my dear,” Vivienne warned. Melody nodded and crossed her arms. 

“Again, the Commander is watching me. Should... something happen, he can take care of it.”

“How does Varric know about it?” She looked at Blackwall and sighed. 

“The spirit... Is the same one that inhabited a... _friend_ of ours.”

“You mean our ex that blew up the Chantry,” Hawke said dryly. Melody gritted her teeth and even Varric seemed annoyed with his friends hostility at this point.

“This was foolish. If you become possessed, we lose our only way to close the rifts and defeat Corypheus,” Cassandra yelled. That hadn’t occurred to her. She didn't have a response, just kept her head lowered.

“I don't think we risk the Inquisitor becoming possessed,” Solas spoke up. Everyone turned to face the elf mage and he walked over to stand with her. “I am familiar with this spirit. It does not anger easily and she only risks corruption if he becomes a demon of Vengeance

“You’ve been in my dreams,” she asked in disbelief. He nodded and she couldn't help but narrow her eyes. “We are talking about this later.”

Melody looked around the group and sighed. “I don't expect any of you to stay. Should you wish to leave, no one will hold it against you.”

No one moved. Much to her surprise. “Really?”

“Well I think the big bad Darkspawn Magister is the more pressing issue isn't it,” Dorian said and most everyone nodded. Vivienne remained silent but made no move to leave.

“Yeah unless you piss her off,” Hawke grumbled and Melody turned towards her. 

“You provoked him-erm it Hawke. If the Commander hadn’t intervened, you would be dead.” Her voice was stronger than she had expected against her old friend, trying to fill it with as much threat as possible. The rogue raised her eyebrows at her and cocked her hip to the side. 

“So in other words, don’t make you mad and your pet won't come out to play.”

“Don't throw my dead family in my face like it's a weapon and it won't come out to play.” The room became eerily quiet as the two stared each other down. A soft hand touched Melody and she glanced over to see Cole staring up at her.

“He won't hurt you. He made a promise. If he hurts them, he hurts you. He just wants to help,” he whispered softly and Melody smiled. 

“Now then, are we all clear on what if going on,” she asked loudly, giving everyone one final chance to speak up.

“Just warn us before you go all... demony yeah,” Sera asked and Melody laughed before nodding. “Of course.”

She decided to hide the blood magic part of things for now. There was enough excitement for one day. She nodded to Cullen and he cleared out the room, all except the Champion. 

“Hawke, you said you have information on Corypheus,” Melody said firmly. She needed to show she was in control, that she was the one in charge here. “Please share it with us.”

The rogue rolled her eyes and Melody felt like she was following her around Kirkwall again, mocking the templars behind their backs.

“Well Varric and I already fought and killed the bastard. The Wardens were holding him, using his influence with the darkspawn to control them. If the Wardens are disappearing... He could have control of them.”

“So he has Venatori, red templars _and_ Gray Wardens. Lovely.” Melody leaned over, immediately fearing for her friends. She knew Alistair was safe, he was still in Denerim. Elise though... She pushed the thought away. She was a smart girl, she would survive.

“Blackwall hasn’t acted like anything is wrong,” Cullen spoke up. She honestly hadn’t thought about him. She would go and check in with him when she left the meeting, make sure his brain wasn't scrambled.

“I didn't come all this way to give you bad news, you know.”

“No? You came to give me bad news and make me relive the worst time of my life.” Her words came out faster than she could stop them. Her hands gripped the table as she forced herself to calm back down.

“Careful. Don't want your friend to come out to play,” Hawke taunted. “I have a friend in the Wardens named Stroud. He was helping me investigate something separate.”

“Is that something relevant?” Melody didn’t want to leave anything hanging. The sooner Hawke was gone, the sooner things could return to semi normal.

Hawke didn't answer her. “He was worried about corruption in the ranks. I haven't heard anything since though.”

“Could he have been corrupted by Corypheus,” Leliana asked. Melody studied her face. She showed no sign of concern for their friend. Or any emotion. As usual.

Hawke shook her head. “No he said he was hiding in a smugglers cave, somewhere in Crestwood.”

“You still didn't answer me Charisma,” she asked impatiently. She stood up and crossed her arms across her chest. “What was he investigating for you?”

Hawke threw her hands up impatiently and looked at Cullen. “The templars in Kirkwall were using a strange lyrium. It was red.”

Her blood ran cold. “Cullen is this true?” Her voice was small, trying to control her panic. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I never had any proof but... after what we saw in Haven, I wouldn't be surprised. That and what happened to Meredith anyway.”

Hawke snorted and shook her head. “Some Knight-Captain you are. You couldn't even keep track of your templars.”

“If they were taking it, it was after I left!” Now she had turned to antagonize him. Melody groaned and threw a marker on the table across the room, not exactly aiming for the Champion but hit her anyway. It was childish but it felt better than walking across the room to punch her.

“I am not listening to this anymore. Hawke if you have nothing more to offer, then I suggest you make yourself scarce. I will send Varric to find you when I am ready to move out.” Melody stared down the woman across the table.

“No need. I will leave and meet you there. Wouldn't want you slipping and accidentally killing my friend.” The woman left before another word could be said. _You're one to talk about killing friends._

“We do have another issue, Inquisitor,” Josephine said softly. Melody nodded for her to continue.

“King Alistair and Arl Teagan have sent letters. Apparently they have Ventori in the royal palace and Teagan is demanding an audience with you.” She held Alistairs letter out and both Leliana and Melody reached for it, Melody only being a tiny bit faster.

“He requests aid,” she said with a smile and glanced up at Leliana. “Should we swoop in and save our poor friend?”

A smile formed on Lelianas lips as she passed the letter to the spymaster. “Swooping is bad no? Though it wouldn't hurt if you and the Commander paid him a visit. I can send one of my scouts, she can help weed them out for you.”

Melody got ready to nod but was stopped by Cullen. “Actually I need help with something myself.” He sounded grim and avoided looking at anyone, making her uneasy.

“What is it Commander that could be more than important than preventing the kings assassination?”

“I sent Rylen and a handful of soldiers to southern Ferelden to see about securing more recruits for our cause. I was getting daily updates. Two days before Haven fell was the last time I heard anything. I would like to take soldiers and find them.” Melody inhaled sharply and closed her eyes.

_Modest in Temper._

“So Rylen has been missing for over a month and you didn't think to say anything?” She couldn't keep the heat out of her voice. He could be dead or...

“In case you forgot Inquisitor, we were moving an entire village. That didn't exactly leave time to send a search party out,” he said sharply. “I have sent ravens daily with no response.”

“You couldn't tell _me_? I’m his friend!”

“Im his friend too,” he roared. “Don't you think how I feel knowing I may have very well led my friend to his death?!” She saw the pain in his eyes and found it hard to tell anything back. 

“I can ask some of the banns in the area to send out search parties,” Josephine offered softly. “I can send word to one of our camps if I hear anything.”

“It would be easier if he just went on his own and I went to Denerim,” Melody said firmly but Josephine shook her head. “No, I think it would benefit you to have him with you in Denerim. The Arl of Redcliffe is demanding reparations for damages the mages caused since they are now, technically, members of the Inquisition.”

“So what does that have to do with me?” Cullen was pinching the bridge of his nose again, Melody assuming he was getting annoyed.

“Well despite Melody being the Inquisitor, I am worried Teagan may see her as a pushover,” Leliana spoke up. “I saw how he was with Elise until he saw Alistair with her. Having you there may also ease Alistairs concerns since he knows the both of you.”

Cullen looked down but didn't say anything. Melody nodded and crossed her arms. “Fine. Let's get Harding out to Crestwood. I don't want to go in blind. Josephine, get on those banns. If they get back to us on the way to Denerim, we will stop and help the soldiers. Leli, will you let Alistair know we will be there in no more than three weeks?”

Everyone nodded and she declared the meeting over. Cullen slipped out first then Josephine, leaving only Leliana and Melody. Neither woman made a move to speak. 

“Do you think she's okay,” Melody finally asked. Leliana nodded and moved to put her hands on Melodys shoulders. 

“Elise wouldnt fall for something so stupid as Corypheus.”

“Well she fell for Alistair.”

The women shared a laugh, reminiscing on their days travelling watching the poor man trying to court the woman. Leliana inhaled deeply before nodding. “She's safe, I have no fears for her. Now you should go and get ready. The sooner you deal with Alistair and Teagan the sooner you can go to Crestwood.”

Melody groaned. “You sure you don't want to come instead? You could put Teagan in his place no problem.”

The spymaster shook her head and gave a small smile. “Ahh but I belong here. Besides, someone needs to keep Skyhold running while you are gone.” She left without another word leaving Melody to her thoughts. Part of her assumed Cullen was being sent as a sitter. She didnt expect them to trust her but she couldnt be dragging the Commander with her on every trip. That just wasn't happening. With a sigh, Melody left to gather Bull, Dorian and Cassandra for the next adventure. 


	28. Chapter 28

_“Come along Lady Trevelyan,” the templar called softly yet firmly. Melody had stayed out late- again. She had been too absorbed in her studies to realize what time it was. The library had darkened significantly, with only a candle here and there to illuminate the room._

_She glanced up and saw the curly-haired templar and smiled warmly. “Hello Cullen,” she whispered and stood slowly. “I will be returning to my quarters shortly. Sorry, I lost track of the time.”_

_“It's no worry, Lady Trevelyan. I shall escort you to your room once you are ready.”_

_“It's after hours Cullen. I'm sure you can drop the pleasantries.” She chuckled and returned the book and moved to walk beside him as they moved downstairs to the mages quarters. The halls were silent, aside from the metal sound of boots walking beside her creating a slight echo. He didn't look like the nervous boy from her past, but like the Commander, she was grown used to having around._

_“Something on your mind Melody,” he asked in a low tone that sent chills up her spine. She quickly shook her head as they reached the students' quarters. Normally he was a stuttering fool, not this put together masterpiece in front of her._

_She turned to say something to him but he had disappeared. Instead, she was hit with what felt like a lightning spell in the back, making her cry out and fall to her knees. In an instant, the scene changed and she was back in the Harrowing Chamber._

_“You will break, as they all do,” she heard the familiar voice of Uldred say. The same line she had repeated to her for years. Then the familiar shock spread through her body again, making her grit her teeth to avoid crying out. The man stopped and leaned down, the smell of copper and sulfur clouding her nose. “This could stop if you would just say yes.”_

_“I... Will never say yes,” she gritted out. The man pulled away and kicked her hard in the stomach, forcing her to overturn._

_“Be that way.” The air crackled and she bit back a scream as the torment began all over again. Her body writhed on the ground and the smell of burnt flesh filled her nose now as her heart thudded to the point of exploding. Tears filled her eyes before a loud crash shook the room._

_***_

Melody jerked awake, her eyes flying open. She had fallen asleep on her stomach, which she had taken to doing whenever she traveled on the road. She felt the heat of the fire in front of her, the crackling bringing her back to her senses. Her right arm was numb from having lay on it for however long she had been asleep.

Groaning, she arched her back and stretched similar to a cat. The tingling of the spell still buzzed on her skin, making her wince in pain before tucking her knees under her. She sat on her elbows and she threaded her hands through her tangled locks, gripping it to the point of feeling pins and needles along her scalp. The smaller she was, the safer she was. Even after all these years, it was still the only thing that brought her comfort. After several deep breaths, she finally let out a soft whimper and started relaxing.

“Nightmare?”

Melody jumped out of her ‘safety ball’, her heart now racing again. Her head whipped around to see Cullen sitting by the fire, not looking at her but polishing his shield. His blade sat beside him out of its scabbard. _Ready to strike me down if I become possessed._

“I'm fine Rutherford,” she said tensely. He chuckled and shrugged nonchalantly. “Why are you awake? Watching me sleep in case you need to take me down?”

Now his face turned red and he set his shield aside, leaning back against the sitting log. “No, I had the first watch. Since you forgot about it, I should remind you that it is in fact your turn to sit it.”

Now it was her turn to flush red. Of course. She had been the one to tell him to take it.

“Oh yeah. Right,” she grumbled and stood up to stretch before leaning over to grab her new bow and quiver, promptly placing it on her back. It was just a simple hunting bow but it would serve its purpose until a better one came along. 

Cullen appeared to have dozed off while she got up and stretched her stiffening limbs. Melody did a quick walk around the camp, listening for any odd sounds. Or the absence of normal ones. Satisfied with her findings, she returned and added more wood to the fire. Ferelden nights were unbelievably chilly even down in the south. For the first time in years, she _actually_ missed home.

Home. The now-empty house. Noah told her as she was getting ready to leave Skyhold he would be returning home. Since Adam was nowhere to be found, not that anyone had even told her he was missing and everyone, in fact, presumed him dead, that left Noah in charge of the Trevelyan estates. Noah and Melody. The last two members of their parents' children. The thought twisted her stomach in knots. Everyone around her that she loved _died._ Like she was cursed.

“You are a loud thinker you know.” She looked at the commander who still had his eyes closed. She silently gave him the finger and huffed softly.

“You are awfully talkative right now aren’t you? Shouldn't you be sleeping?”

He popped open an amber eye and looked at her. “Again. You are a loud thinker. Either talk about it or shut your brain down so I can sleep.” His tone was harsh, almost angry.

“Damn you don't need to be an arse Commander.” Melody tried to keep the hurt out of her voice but after her thoughts of home, her voice cracked and she silently cursed herself.

Cullen sat up now, his face redder than it had been previously. “Shit Melody I didn't mean to- Makers breath I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. She shrugged and stared at the ground, her cheeks flushing. She hated showing emotions, least of all to him.

“It's fine Commander,” she whispered and continued to look at the ground. She heard him stand and move to sit beside her. She could still smell the oil he used on his shield, mixed sweat from the day, and a faint floral smell.

“If you need to talk, I am all ears,” he offered and she huffed. In the distance, an owl was calling out into the darkness. The wind blew slightly and rustled the leaves in the trees. A small spasm shook her body unexpectedly and she wrapped her arms around herself as close as she could while still wearing armor to calm herself down.

“You cold?”

Melody shook her head no, staring down at the flames. Several minutes passed between them, the only sounds were the nature around them and the crackling fire. Finally, Cullen gave up and returned to his spot, gathering up his sword and shield to retire to his tent.

“How do you do it?”

She watched him pause and turn to face her with a look of curiosity.

“How do you sleep at night? How...” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat to remove the sudden lump that formed in her throat. “How do you forget everything that... happened?”

Cullen stared at her, not saying anything. She almost thought he had walked away.

“I don’t.” His voice was soft and she looked up, seeing his pale complexion lit up by the fire. “You just get better at hiding it.” Then he returned to his tent. 

Melody sat in silence for the next three hours, occasionally walking the perimeter of the camp. They were about half a day away from the scout camp and, Maker willing, they will have heard something about the missing soldiers. Otherwise, it was straight to Denerim and she _really_ didn't want to deal with the Arl yet.

~~~

  
  


_A.T,_

_We will be delayed. Some Inquisition soldiers were captured in some bog called Fallow Mire by an Avvar arsehole who wants to meet me. Gotta save Rutherfords' soldiers._

_Please for the love of the Maker and everything holy,_ _DO NOT_ _get yourself killed. Stay vigilant. I will be there to save your arse soon._

_M.T_

_~~~_

“Why can’t we go anywhere nice and warm and sunny,” Melody yelled as she sent an arrow through another corpses head. The rain poured more heavily here than it did at the Storm Coast and she was growing tired of it all. Lightning flashed periodically followed by the sound of rolling thunder. They hadn’t been there long before the undead clambered out of the water, staggering towards them with weapons.

“Welcome to Ferelden, where it's cold and wet,” Cullen yelled back and she bit back a sarcastic remark as another of the walking dead approached her. She swung her bow and swiftly knocked the monsters head off. The smell of decay hung in the air around them as they finished off the battle. She huffed and flipped her wet braid onto her back, looking at her soaking crew with a smirk.

“Let's stay out of the water, yeah? It seems to attract them.”

They made their way over the dock that lay ahead, cautious to make sure not to disturb the water. Melody walked slowly along the path, the hair of her neck standing up. A bolt of lightning struck beside her, causing her to scream and jump back into Bulls' arms.

“Easy Boss, it's just lightning,” he said with a hearty chuckle. She snarled and pushed him away, fixing her armor and stomping forward. Her boots sank in the muddy path which made her steps uneven. Every step of this quest just infuriated her further. A small headache pulled at her eyes but she just ignored and pressed onward. 

“Look a house,” she called and immediately made for it. They could stop to breathe here. Rest their feet. She turned as her companions caught up to her and she pointed to the boxes. 

“Bull, can you take care of these?”

“I'm not a battering ram you know?”

“Pretty please,” she said with a pout and a flutter of her lashes. He rolled his eyes and removed his greataxe from his back before smashing the boxes blocking the door to bits. She blew the Qunari a kiss before pushing the door open and walking in.

Of course, the minute she stepped in she was met with decayed hands gripping her forearm and gnashing teeth aimed to bite her. She pushed the creatures head back and yanked her arm from its grip. She started to reach for her dagger but a longsword sliced through its chest before she could move. A very angry looking Cullen walked into the house and glared at her.

“Why didn't you check to make sure the house was safe first,” he yelled at her. She crossed her arms and popped her hip out. 

“Really Commander? I am not one of your green recruits and I get field time a lot more than you. So shut it.”

“You certainly act like you,” he stated dryly and Melody felt her temper slowly rise. Despite wanting to get into the house, not she wanted nothing more than to _get out._

After spending an hour semi-drying off and resting their feet, they moved on from the house. They continued to follow the path, across a small bridge and up a hill to find a stone pillar with veilfire braziers surrounding it. _Strange they are staying lit in all this rain._

“What is that- a beacon of some sort,” Cullen asked. Melody shook her head and glanced around to see if she could find anything telling what this was for. There was a rune shimmering softly with a green hue that matched the braziers around them. She walked back around to the other side and started lighting the brazier on the wall.

“Wait you don't know what that will do,” Cullen stated quickly. Bull shrugged and nodded in agreement.

“I gotta agree with Cullen Boss. We don't know what that thing is or what it will do.”

“Will you guys relax? What's the worst that can happen?”

Demons.

Undead and demons happened.

They hit the first wave with no problem, besides grumblings from the Qunari and Commander about _I told you so._ The second wave had more undead, like it was pulling them from the water mixed with a terror demon. That she hadn’t expected and promptly was knocked on her backside when it sprang out from under her.

Stars danced in her vision and she tried to recollect herself quickly. A leather-covered hand reached down and picked her up, saying something along the line of _saving you again_ but she wasn't sure. Once she regained her footing, she began firing her arrows off again. Each undead monster fell swiftly as her arrows rained down on them.

Soon the battle was over. Other than a few cuts and scrapes, everyone was healthy. The braziers on the ground lit up with bright orange flames with a loud _whoosh_ before calming back down.

Melody moved around the pillar to look at the rune again, running her hands over it. She found a torch laying not too far away and grabbed it, dipping it into the blue-green flame.

“Now what are you doing,” the commander asked with an exasperated sigh. He was getting tired of her investigating and now it was starting to annoy her. She watched the rune light up and a red outline appear over it, making her smirk.

“I think we need to keep an eye out. There may be more of these,” she said with a smile to her group. Every one of them looked at her with disbelief as she walked down the hill with a large grin.

They followed the path some more, lighting the beacons and fighting the undead and demons that decided to show their face. “The beacons are lit,” Melody exclaimed cheerfully as she lit the last one and the battle started. 

Soon everyone was getting cranky from being wet and cold and sore. Even Cassandra whined for a stopping point to come up soon. Melody promised everyone they would stop soon, she just wanted to get as far ahead as possible. There was no real way to tell what time it was thanks to the clouds but it was definitely late in the night. Or she was just extremely exhausted.

“Who’s that up ahead,” Cassandra asked. Everyone looked to see a rather large man, taller than Cullen but still shorter than Bull with an angry-looking maul sitting on his shoulder.

“I don't know but let's go talk to him. We still haven't seen our soldiers yet and that makes me nervous,” Cullen said and Melody turned to face him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Wasn't aware you were giving orders Commander,” she said in an annoyed tone. Even in the pouring rain, surrounded by corpses, he managed to blush and rub the back of his neck. She clicked her tongue and moved to talk to the man who introduced himself as Skywatcher. Through the rain, she caught the faint glimmer of green floating like loose hair in the wind standing before them. She let out a silent curse before opening the rift and starting a new battle.

~~~

After what seemed like hours wandering the corpse littered mud fest, the battlements of a fortress ahead brought an easy breath to them all.

“Thank the Maker. We are almost done,” Melody huffed out and leaned over to catch her breath. Her body was screaming for a break by this, her leg muscles tensing from the walking and her arm growing sore from the near-constant fighting. 

The group picked up their pace, slowly jogging towards the keep. Chains ran along the path as they slowed down their pace. Movement could be seen up ahead, barely visible by the fog. The smell of decay mixed with the rain and she pulled her bow back out with a sigh. They slowly continued their walk to the keep, the movement revealed to be more of wandering corpses.

“More undead ahead,” she called out. They started engaging the creature, her ears filling with the familiar _twang_ of her bow and the grunts of the warriors slicing their way through the enemy. Melody quickly glanced around, realizing the waves were not slowing down. The rest of the crew noticed as well.

“There's too many of them,” Cassandra yelled as her sword plunged into a corpse's chest. “We need to get into the keep!” Melody nodded as she punched one of the corpses that had come to stand beside her. 

“Go! I will hold them off!”

She saw Cullen turn and start to say something but Bull gripped his shield arm and dragged him along. Melody put her bow back on her back and sent a wall of purple flame along the left side of the path. The corpses burned as she sent a ball of flame to her right, igniting another group of corpses. She charged into the opening of the gate, seeing her companions engaged in a fight with more lively people. 

As she lifted her arm to redraw her bow, pain shot through her right shoulder. She cried out and stumbled as another shot down her leg. Melody fell to her hands and knees, her vision blurring. The sound of the battle started fading around her and she thought she heard Cassandra yell her name. _No, no, no stay awake. We need to stay awake._

_I could help you know._

_No. You caused me enough trouble._

The sound of muddy ground being squished brought her back to her senses as a man charged at her with his greatsword poised to swing down on her. Her blue barrier quickly hovered around her as he swung down but a metal shield quickly blocked it. The sound of metal on metal rang out in her ears and she heard a man grunt. 

Melody tried to push herself up to a standing position but the burning pain in her shoulder and rear prevented any further movement. She took her left hand and moved it to find the direct source of pain. Her ass. She got shot by an arrow in her Maker damned ass. Her hand couldn't get a firm grip on the arrow without pain radiating from it. Then tried the one in her right shoulder but it was the same thing. Realizing she was still laying down in the middle of the battlefield, she chose to just remain still. Pretending she was already dead would at least keep the focus off her.

At least she thought she was pretending. Panicked voices buzzed in her ears as she realized she was slipping in and out of consciousness. Someone touched the arrow in her shoulder and she hissed, the white-hot pain bringing her out of the pull of sleep.

“Inquisitor I need to remove the arrows. You are going to bleed out,” Cassandra said firmly. Melody pushed herself up some with her left hand, fisting the mud under her. She looked at the Seeker and nodded. The woman gripped the arrow and yanked it out without so much of a warning. 

Melody let out a string of curses that would make a pirate blush in shame. She writhed on the ground as if it would help in the pain but instead it only aggravated the one in her hindquarters. She lifted her left hand and pressed it to her wound, quickly cauterizing it then doing the same to the second one.

Taking a moment to herself, she took several deep breaths before slowly pushing herself up. The pain still lingered but she had a poultice she could lather on later. Bulls thick hands helped steady her as she regained her bearings and glanced around her at the bodies littering the floor.

“We need to get that gate open,” she growled and staggered off. She was over this place and over people trying to attack her. She made her way up the wooden stairs, slipping between the wetness of the stairs, blood from the fallen people around her, and her inability to stand. The rest of the crew was scouring the ground to find a wheel or lever to open the gate and get to their soldiers.

“I found it,” she yelled. Of course it would be on the ramparts. She pulled it and watched the gate slowly open, the mechanism controlling it grinding loudly. If the men's captors didn't know they were here before, he certainly knows now.

~~~

“Herald of Andraste! Face me! I am the hand of Korth himself!”

“No talking him out of it I guess,” she whispered to her team and they instantly began fighting. Melody didn't bother with her bow, instead choosing to ignite the avvar defenders with purple flames. Their screams of agony rang out into the stormy air as metal on metal clashed mixed with it. She would lay mines around the corners and lead swordsman around them, hearing the fiery explosions behind her. 

As the man attacking her fell, she turned her attention to the avvar leader who was now advancing on Cullen and Cassandra. They were too engaged in their battles to even see the man. No one was even close to him and with one hit, they would be mortally wounded. In her panic, she thrusted her left hand out, the green Anchor sparking to life as a rift formed over the Avvar.

His screams echoed louder than anyone elses in the room, giving the warriors time to finish their opponents. After they moved to a safe distance she poured more magic into the mark before yanking the rift closed. The Avvar fell to the ground and didn't move. The world swayed under and she nearly collapsed again but was held upright by Bull who led her to a crumbled pillar to sit.

“You feeling okay Boss,” he asked. His eye was filled with concern and she couldn’t help but give a weak smile and nod. Dorian came over and sat with her, complaining about the blood that would now be stained into his armor. It made her laugh, given the amount of stress her body went through. She watched as Cullen ran to a door and unlocked it. _Must have found the key_. Sure enough, brown and green uniforms slowly filed out of the room. Most of them looked fairly healthy but some nursed injuries. She watched as Cullen held up a man who was barely standing on his own.

“Rylen,” she yelled and charged across the room. Well at much as she could. Her steps were staggered and she nearly tripped over a shield as she barreled into the man.

“Aye lass, ‘m fine,” he managed out. Melody pulled away and put her hands on his cheeks to look him over for any injuries. 

“Rylen you're burning up.”

“Well when ya don't go off yer daily philter, your body takes a crash course,” he muttered as his legs threatened to give out. She couldn't hold him up as she was barely standing so they both went crashing to the ground. She landed promptly on her rear which made her cry out in pain. Rylen looked at her with worry, trying to distance himself from her. Digging around in her satchel Melody found a lyrium potion and handed it to him. He wasted zero time opening it and draining it.

Melody glanced up at the Commander who stared down at them, his eyes looking distant. She cleared her throat and moved to stand, favoring her uninjured leg and reaching down to help the Starkhaven man up. Whatever had distracted Cullen had moved on and he slid his arm under his friends arm and moved to help them.

Melody limped behind them, Bull helping her to stay upright and navigate down the stairs when the need arose. It felt like it took less time to make it back yet it didn't. _Probably because we aren't fighting swarms of the undead._ Once they made it back to camp, they began getting settled. Harding handed her a letter, telling her it arrived shortly after she had left. The injured saw their injuries checked on while she pulled her companions aside.

“Tomorrow you three will lead the soldiers back to Skyhold. They don't know what happened to Haven yet, though I have a suspicion the Commander will tell them before tomorrow.”

“What about you Inquisitor? You were injured today as well,” Cassandra said dryly and Melody shook her head.

“The Commander and I have business in Denerim we must attend to. Ventori spies and angry arls and whatnot.” She wore a light-hearted smile and clasped her hands together. “Cassandra I trust you can lead in my stead?”

“Of course Inquisitor.”

“Aww, why does she get to lead,” Bull said with a pout that made the Qunari look like a child. She just patted his shoulder and smiled, limping away to the tent she and Cassandra would be sharing to tend to her wounds and read the slightly wet letter that Harding said arrived.

~~~

_M.T_

_Now when have I ever been less than vigilant? I will have you know... You know what nevermind. Don’t write that. Just tell her... Something. Oh! Tell her the darkspawn are more likely to kill me than one of these sneaky rat assassins._

_You didn't write all that did you? Whatever. Just send it. I swear you people do this on purpose._

_King Alistair Theirin_


	29. Chapter 29

The ride to Denerim was quiet. Cullen kept his distance from her and she made sure to do the same. Melody's bottom was still sore from her wound, which made her sit awkwardly on her horse. She was more than thrilled when the walls of the city came into view, increasing her horses trot to a fast gallop. 

Once their horses were placed safely into the stables, they made their way into the city. "Last time I was here, I got sent to Fort Drakon, and we fought a traitor. Fun times," she said in a giddy tone. Cullen looked at her with shock and shook his head. 

"What did you do to end up in there," he groaned, though she could see the look on his face he wasn't surprised. She shrugged as they climbed the stairs to the Royal Palace. "If Alistair had let me kill the guards, we never would have been arrested. But he insisted on peace and got us both arrested."

She heard Cullen hum a response, but he didn't say much more. Melody made a glance around the courtyard, taking in her surroundings. It was busy, servants moving in and out of doors, some guards stood to watch over the area while others walked casually around the area. A small giggle escaped as she watched some kids chase a pair of brown and black mabaris.

"Come on. Alistair might be cross with me if I make him wait any longer," Melody said finally. Cullen nodded, and the pair made their way up the staircase. She pushed open the doors, just as aggressively as the king had in Redcliffe. Several guards turned towards them, hands on their blades, ready to attack whoever just barged into the palace. 

Cullen sighed softly, looking at her with eyes that begged her to behave, but she couldn't help but grin wildly. Other than when she unceremoniously spewed her guts all over him, she hadn't seen Alistair in nearly ten years. She was ready to officially catch up, not just sit on a bed and cry on his shoulder.

"Excuse me," a guard said firmly as they started to enter the throne room. "You cannot go in there without a proper audience."

Melody snorted and crossed her arms. "I have an audience with King Alistair. I happen to be an old friend-"

"I am sorry, but I cannot allow you to enter with your weapons. Friend or not," he interrupted and Melody narrowed her eyes at the man. As she got ready to deny his request and push her way through, Cullen stepped up.

"I am sure it is no problem," he said through gritted teeth. She couldn't remember the last time she saw him without a blade. Or his armor. Plus, they didn't even know what they were dealing with here. If the Venatori attacked, it would leave them unarmed.

_ You're a mage. You are never fully unarmed. Stop worrying. _

_ Cullen isn't though. _

_ Don't worry about him. He can take care of himself. _

_ You, sir, are an arse. _

Reluctantly she handed over her bow and quiver and watched Cullen to the same with his sword and shield. Just before he allowed them in, she lit a purple flame in her hand and glared at the man. Cullen grabbed her arm and pulled her in after him. "Please, for the love of the Maker, stop picking fights!"

Melody bounced up the stairs, ignoring her Commanders pleas. It wasn't like she was doing it on purpose. Everyone just rubbed her the wrong way. And Maker be damned if she was going to let someone walk all over her.

"Your Majesty, The Inquisitor is here to see you," the man beside her called out. She hardly needed announcing, Alistair was already making his way across the room, a broad grin on his face. Cullen's steps faltered as he quickly fell to one knee, bowing his head. Melody chuckled and continued walking, much to everyone's shocked gaze.

"You know I could have you arrested for not showing me proper respect," Alistair teased as he stopped to stand before her. She just laughed and held her wrists out. 

"Oh, would you? It has been such a long time since I visited the prison."

The king laughed heartily and embraced her tightly. "I am glad to see you live," he whispered. "When I got your letter about Haven... I feared the worst. Do you really think it was an Archdemon?" His golden eyes held concern and she nodded. 

"It looked like the one we saw in the Deep Roads Ali. It reeks of darkspawn. I fear we might have another Blight on our hands."

"I haven't heard anything from Elise supporting the theory of a Blight. Are you sure it just wasn't just a dragon?"

"I don't know," she sighed as she heard the familiar footfalls behind her. "All I know is we have some evil Darkspawn magister wreaking havoc and trying to ruin my day." She turned over to where Cullen stood behind her, his hands looking lost since his sword was gone.

Suddenly loud barking erupted as a black mabari ran into the room, his face flecked with grey fur. Melody let out a squeal as the dog knocked her down. She twisted so she didn't land on her bottom but more on her side, hugging the war dog tightly.

"Yes, yes, hi, I missed you too Mutt," she said between licks. The dog let out a soft woof as she pushed him off with a grunt, rolling to her feet.

"Be careful of your injuries Inquisitor," Cullen said softly. His eyes were on the mabari, who was now snuffing at his hand, trying to get more attention. Melody rolled her eyes and pointed to the dog.

"You might want to pay attention to him, Commander. Otherwise, the poor dog might die."

"Yes, please do that. I do not want to be here if my wife comes back to her mabari killed off by you," Alistair teased. Cullen shuffled awkwardly to the ground, scratching Mutt behind the ears. The dog rolled over onto his back, and she watched the usually grumpy Commander turn into a young boy, playing with his mabari.

"And where is my favorite Warden-Commander," Melody asked. Elise hadn't been in Redcliffe with Alistair, and she had yet to see her now. Alistair gave a half-hearted shrug and looked at her with sad eyes.

"Shes out trying to find the cure for the Calling," he whispered. It was not known that the Queen had left. Melody nodded, then glanced around. "So, we are supposed to be meeting Arl Teagan here?"

"You were yes. However, my uncle was rather impatient and had to return to Redcliffe before your arrival." He rolled his eyes, and she laughed at his annoyance. "Anyway, I will let you get settled in before we start discussing anything else."

Cullen stood up, Mutt whining from the loss of attention. Melody patted the dog's head and followed the elf that showed up to their rooms.

~~~

Cullen sat on the bed, rubbing his face. He had taken a bath, thankful for the peace. A soft throb pounded in the back of his head. He laid back on the bed with a soft groan. It was nice, soft. A smile formed on his face and he scooted himself onto the bed, wrapping himself in the blankets, nuzzling his face into them. 

Blankets were always his weak spot, even had a child. After he was transferred to Kirkwall, he had purchased one lined with fennec fur. It was a significant source of comfort the nights his nightmares proved to be too much. Sadly, it had been lost in the destruction of Haven and he hadn't time to purchase or look for one.

"Comfy Commander?"

He jumped up as Melody let out a loud laugh, its sound echoing through the room and his head. It reminded him of a simpler time. He grabbed the maroon tunic that he had tossed onto the bed and quickly threw it on, which only increased her laughter.

"Commander, you train soldiers without your shirt on daily. Why are you suddenly shy to be shirtless in front of me?"

"I- uh well, you just barged into my room! How did you even get in here? The door was locked!" His face was beet red as she smirked and sat on the couch that sat against the furthest wall. "I picked it."

"You... You picked a lock. In the Royal Palace?" He glanced over at the door, half expecting guards to burst in at any moment. 

She shrugged and reclined back, crossing her legs. She had changed and bathed as well; her still damp hair was braided back in her usual style. He hadn't noticed the red that slowly disappeared until now though, her hair returning to its white color he remembered, but it shined in the palest pink shade in the sun. Instead of her usual blue tunic and tan breeches she liked to wear, she had on a maroon and white dress. It was very flattering, tugging at her curves in all the right ways. Cullen couldn't help but stare for a moment before tearing his eyes away.

"I picked two," Melody said slyly and pointed to the corner by the door. He followed her hand and gaped as he saw his sword and shield propped up by the door, as well as her bow and quiver.

"Melody!? Are you trying to get us arrested? You can't be breaking into rooms!" If the guards weren't coming for them before, they would be for sure now.

"No, but I need someone to watch my back for a reconnaissance mission, and I don't want you unarmed in case things go sideways. You in?" Her light purple eyes looked hopeful as she leaned forward, folding her hands on her knees.

"Am I- what? Melody, as your Commander and advisor, I have to advise against this !" What was she thinking? She couldn't just go walking around with a weapon, in the _Royale Palace_ no less!

"Well, we are here to stop an assassination attempt right? If I was going to kill a king,  _ without getting caught, _ how would I do it?" He sighed and threw his hands up, pacing around the room. This woman was going to be the death of him, that's for sure.

"C'mon Commander, help me out here. Think like an assassin." He looked at her and crossed his arms, huffing in annoyance. "I am a  _ soldier,  _ Inquisitor. I hardly deal with these things-"

"The kitchen Cullen," Melody finally said, frustration sharpening her tone. She stood up and planted a boot on the couch, grabbing the hem of the dress and started to pull it up. Cullen quickly turned around, his face turning bright red. Why was she undressing  _ here?  _ In front of him? He tried to clear his mind, try to force away any thoughts to keep the blood rushing...  _ there.  _

"Relax, Commander. You can turn around. I am not naked," she said annoyed. He turned back and saw she was dressed. Instead of the dress, she wore a dark brown blouse with black nug skin breeches. She still had her riding boots on though, mud coating them from their travels.

"What are you doing," Cullen managed to ask as she walked over and placed her quiver on her back. She grabbed her bow and glanced out the window at the sky, which was starting to change colors.

"Dinner will be served soon. By now, the Ventori agents will know we are here, which means they will likely choose tonight to attack. We need to either stop it or find out when it will happen. If you aren't going to back me up, then I am going by myself." Melody made her way towards the door, and Cullen groaned loudly. He couldn't let her go by herself. She got into enough trouble when she had people with her. Besides, Leliana and Alistair would emasculate him if something happened to her on his watch.

"Fine just let me get my armor-" 

"No." The word came out sharp. Her eyes met his, and she shook her head. "One, we don't have time to wait for you to put it on. Two, you can't move quietly in it. This is a  _ stealth _ mission." 

He didn't want to be without his armor. If a fight did break out, he would have to rely on his shield alone. Melody picked up on his stress and smiled, waving her hand as a blue light settled over him. He fought the urge to flinch away from the magic. "I have a couple tricks up my sleeves, Commander," she said calmly but her face firm. "But I need you to trust me."

He didn't like the sound of that but nodded slowly. If he was going to work with her, trust was something he was going to have to have. Even with her... quirks.

~~~

_ Well, that could have gone better.  _ Melody let loose another arrow, watching as it slid into one of the Venatori agents' throat. Cullen was fighting a soldier as she sniped another mage. Her assumption was correct. On the way to the kitchen, a servant, one of Lelianas spies that had been planted, informed her that agents were performing a summoning spell in the kitchen. It wasn't a poisoning, but it was still an issue. At least it would be a step in the right direction.

"Glad we came here now," she called to Cullen as she sent an arrow into the side of his opponent. He turned and glared at her, wiping his blade off and returning it to its spot. 

"At least its dealt with," he said instead and carefully stepped around the bodies that littered the kitchen. "How do you propose we tell King Alistair-"

A scream rang out from the hall, a cold chill settling over. They ran out of the kitchen and headed down the hallway, the sounds of fighting starting to ring out. Furniture was knocked over in the halls, and the smell of blood hung in the air. Melody rounded the corner and ran straight into a Venatori mage as he was getting ready to cast a spell towards a woman at the end of the hall. They both fell into a heap on the ground while Cullen ran to the woman. She reached into her belt and grabbed her dagger, holding it to the man's throat.

"How many more of you are there," she snarled. The man just laughed and said something in Tevene, making her silently curse what she wouldn't give to have Dorian with her right now. She quickly dragged her blade across his through, wincing as the blood sprayed across her face.  _ Must look real attractive now. _

She stood up and glanced at Cullen, who was still trying to calm the scared woman. "Do you know whats going on here," Melody asked. The woman shook her head quickly.

"No, My Lady. I was headed to the dining room to prepare the tables for supper when one of the servants came out and spoke to another in some language I didn't recognize. Then they ran off, and then the servants were fighting each other and summoning things..." The woman's voice grew more hysterical, and Melody quickly snapped her fingers in the woman's face.

"I need you to keep it together for a little longer. Did any of them say where they were going or what they were doing?"

The woman shook her head and started wringing her hands together. "N-No My Lady."

Cullen sighed and glanced around him, pulling his sword out again. "Go find somewhere safe to hide. I will send a soldier to look for you when it is safe."

The woman nodded and ran off. Melody returned to the dead 'servant' and began searching his pockets, tossing a healing potion to the Commander and pocketing a lyrium potion for her. 

"We need to find Alistair," she stated and began her walk to the open throne room. The fighting grew louder and her hand reached back for her bow. As they quickened their pace, they saw the kings' guard fighting both Venatori agents and demons of various types. Yet no Alistair. The soldiers were outnumbered and wouldn't last long. She channeled her mana into her hand and opened a rift in the middle of the room. Venatori and demons alike screamed out and Melody prayed that no soldiers were caught in the middle. She held out as long as she could before the connection threatened to break then closed the rift.

"Wheres the king," Cullen called out. Melody shook her hand to get rid of the pins and needles that had started to form from using the mark. She walked over to where Cullen stood, giving orders he really had no right to give to the guardsmen, but they followed them nonetheless.

"The king went to find us when the fighting broke out," he explained, and she rolled her eyes. Of course he would.

They took off towards the stairs, the fighting getting worse as they reached the second level. There were more demons on this floor and it felt like fighting a wall to get through them. Melody released the breath she didn't realize she was holding when they finally caught up to Alistair, who was finishing his own fight.

"Tired yet Your Majesty," she huffed as she leaned over to catch her breath. Pain rolled through her side as she did, catching her breath. She had caught a shades claws to her waist, the area still sore after healing.

"I haven't had a good fight in a long time," he retorted, glancing at the damage. "I guess you could say I am a little rusty." 

"Commander!" A lone soldier in Inquisition armor ran up to the three and knelt before them. "Scouts report more demon activity on the battlements."

Alistair looked at the two soldiers then Melody with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't realize you had brought soldiers with you."

"We didn't," Melody said and straightened up. "Apparently Leliana has been watching for a while. Or anticipated more than a couple cultists."

"Mm yes, remind me to thank her for spying on me," he sighed and pointed down the hall. "Shall we head up to the battlements then? I prefer my home demon-free myself."

~~~

The climb to the battlements was rough, trying to fight demons and climb stairs was not something Melody would recommend to anyone. Once they reached the top, she did a glance at the men beside her. No one had any serious injuries so they continued their push. Sure enough, after yet another fight with more rage demons than she wanted to see in her life, they found the mage summoning the demons. Her heart dropped as she looked at the man.

"Jowan?"

The brown-haired man turned towards them, his blue eyes wide with surprise. Melody quickly threw barriers over the three of them, faintly hearing Alistair mutter a soft curse. "Jowan, what are you doing here?"

"Just doing what I should have done a long time ago, Melody," he cooed. Her stomach dropped as she heard the layered voice around them. Too many demon possessions had crossed her path not to know the idiot blood magic screwed up. Still, there might be hope...

"I know you're still in there Jowan. You can fight this," she called and stepped forward. The men moved to follow her, but she held her hand back to stop them. Her barrier faded away, allowing herself to put more focus on theirs. 

"Your friend has long been dead," Not-Jowan stated coolly and began to pace towards her. "You know, all I offered was the power to save his little girlfriend right? He swallowed that up in a heartbeat." He cocked his head at her curiously. "What about you, little  _ maleficar? _ We've seen your dreams; you are not unfamiliar to us. What if I could give you your little Templar?"

Melody gritted her teeth as the demon circled her, letting her ears see where she could not. "Darren is dead, and nothing you do can bring him back," she snarled. Her hands folded into a fist as the demon continued talking, teasing. 

"Ahh, but you know that's not who I'm talking about. I could take all this away, for a happy little life with your Commander over there." Her face flushed red, and Not-Jowan laughed loudly, its voice ringing in her ears like metal striking metal. "We've seen your dreams, seen you  _ beg-" _

" _ Enough," _ she hissed. Flames danced across her palms, and she sent a ball of fire towards the demon who quickly dissolved it. Anger danced its face and it turned towards her, raising its arms. Blood that had been spilled from the guardsmen on the battlements rolled towards the demon. 

"If you won't let me have you, I will just take you for myself," it screeched. She didn't have time to react before a blast hit her square in the chest, the air leaving her lungs and throwing her back against Cullen and Alistair. A bell rang out in her head, making her groan as she rolled to her feet. The men's frantic voices calling her name slowly brought her back, feeling the familiar hum under her skin.

The demon wearing her old friend's skin wore a look of fear and shock, stepping away from her as she stood up. 

"You- you shouldn't-"

"Sorry. I only have room for one arse in this body," she called out, though her voice had changed, became deeper mixed with her own. Blue and purple lightning streaked out from her hands and connected to the demon, the creature writhing on the ground. With a loud cry, she pushed more mana into the lightning spell, the demon turning to ash.

Exhaustion weighed heavily on her as the hum disappeared. Burnt ozone and flesh smell lingered in the air, leaving a sour taste in her mouth. The stone of the palace raced to meet her face as her legs finally gave out. She felt arms wrap around her, keeping her upright.

"I got you," murmured the all too familiar baritone voice, smooth like an Antivan whiskey. Urges to shove him off, tell him that she was okay, were pushed aside. She wanted to sleep. And if Cullen was going to get her there, then he might as well help.

"Alistair," she whispered and looked to the side where the king walked alongside them. "Next time you have assassins, keep them to your damn self."

Alistair chuckled and patted her shoulder. "And here I thought you enjoyed nearly dying at my side."


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this coming out so late! I've restarted this chapter three different times before the flow finally came to me!

"I look forward to having a nice long bath and several bottles of wine," Dorian spoke as they entered Skyhold. Honestly, she felt he was just trying to calm her, but after a week she was still fuming. It felt like her life was just one shit show after another anymore. On top of that, she managed to catch a cold while they were in Crestwood that she just couldn't shake. After she and Cullen left Denerim, she had sent a raven ahead to have Dorian, Cassandra, and Bull meet her in Crestwood to prepare to meet Hawkes Warden friend.

_ Cullen.  _ She couldn't stop the flutter that happened in her stomach at the thought of his name. After defeating Jowan, who had once been her best friend, she could barely stand. She was finding letting the spirit take over was more exhausting than just using her well-kept mana reserve. Cullen and Alistair helped her down the stairs, one of them always drawing any demon straggler away from whoever current held her upright.

She didn't remember ever reaching her room, much less getting into her nightclothes. Breakfast had been quiet; Alistair was still trying to deal with the aftermath of the attack. Cullen hardly looked her way, staring at his food and coffee in silence. Melody did the same, attempting to carry on a conversation with her old travel companion between members of the guard, his Commander reporting injuries, or Eamon coming in trying to discuss the day's itinerary. 

Alistair never once asked about what happened on the battlements. Part of her wondered if he knew. Wynne had her own spirit, a spirit of Faith, that assisted them during The Blight. While nothing happened like Justice, it seemed like every day was a gamble on whether Wynne would wake up or not. Melody didn't have to worry about that.

They left later that day, Alistair wrapping Melody in a tight hug. "Stop trying to die on me," he growled playfully. She laughed then and nodded, giving her word that she couldn't really offer. There was no guarantee that she would survive this war with Corypheus. Really, there was no guarantee that she would even survive the trip back to Skyhold or Crestwood.

Then she got to Crestwood to learn a rift had opened  _ under the lake, _ and now undead were pouring out. She just couldn't escape it, could she? They saved the town, librated a keep from bandits, and moved in Inquisition soldiers, only to learn the  _ mayor _ had flooded the old village. 

Once she closed the rift, the cave led them out to where Hawke awaited with Stroud. Melody could barely focus on the meeting with the Orlesian man. The only thing she could see was that  _ mayor _ . The things she wanted to do to him...

Of course, she missed the majority of what Stroud had said, resorting to asking Cassandra once they left Hawke and the Warden. Or she would have if they hadn't run straight into a dragon feeding ground. Bull was more than happy to engage in a battle, leaving Cassandra, Dorian, and her scrambling to ready their weapons. Then, of course in the middle of the battle, a squad of Red Templars decided to join in. By the time the battle was over, everyone was looking ragged and sore was an understatement. 

After setting up camp for the night, she had Cassandra give her a rundown from the Warden meeting. Now her anger had only grown. The Wardens were hearing a Calling? Albeit a false one, but why hadn't Alistair told her? Did he know it wasn't real? Was he even hearing it? What about Elise? She had almost wanted to mount up, ride to Denerim, and call him out on it.  _ Almost. _

Now Melody stood in Skyhold, dismounting her horse. She looked around the courtyard, not seeing the Commander. 

"Find the Commander and tell him we are having a meeting in the War Room. Now," she growled at a nearby soldier whose eyes widened and he took off, nearly forgetting to bow. She quickly crossed the courtyard, climbing the stairs two at a time and slamming open the doors to the main hall. Repairs were going rather well it appeared. The hall actually started looking like a dining hall. 

Melody pushed her way through the gathering nobles, hearing their complaints, and swears in Orlesian. Whatever. Josephine could deal with them later. She pushed open the door to the Ambassadors office, only slightly flinching as it crashed against the wall. 

"Inquisitor-" Josephine started to rise from her seat, but Melody marched passed her and into the hall towards the War Room, hearing the clicking of her heels trailing behind. A tickle formed in the back of her throat, and she sniffled.

The door to their little office pushed open and she saw Leliana already standing in her spot, her face emotionless as always.

"My scouts inform me that the Inquisitor has been in a fit a rage since leaving Crestwood," she offered and Melody let out an airy chuckle.

"Yeah, well, after the  _ month _ I've had, I've earned it."

The door opened and Cullen moved in with a frown on his face. "What's going on, Inquisitor? I was told you needed to see me?"

Melody nodded and pointed to where Crestwood was located. "The Mayor."

Leliana nodded and her gaze turned dark. "My scouts told me. He flooded the old village during the Blight, claiming he was trying to save his healthy villagers from the Blight infected refugees and villagers that came in," she stated as if she were bringing the others up to date.

" _ Former  _ Mayor," Melody growled. "When we returned to Crestwood after meeting Hawkes Warden friend, he had disappeared. Run off like a  _ fucking coward.  _ Commander, I want soldiers out there immediately. They can hole up in Caer Bronach, should be dry enough by now."

Cullen shook his head and shifted his weight, his hand gripping his pommel. "I'm sure the Spymasters scouts have this covered. We don't have the manpower-"

"Find it," she growled. "I want that man caught and brought before the Inquisition. He needs to answer to his crimes." The tickle returned before she could stop it, and she erupted into a coughing fit. It was wet, which she knew wasn't a good sign. There were things that needed her now though. She couldn't afford to be sick. The advisor's gaze never left her as she took a deep breath to calm her burning cheeks. 

"Inquisitor, there is another matter," Josephine said cautiously. Melody nodded for her to continue and straightened herself, ignoring the burn in her lungs. "We need to do fittings for Empress Celene's ball."

Melody sighed and rubbed a spot on her chest that had begun to itch. "And I suppose I am needed for that?"

"Well, yes. You must look your best if we are to make a good impression. We could get more supporters for the Inquisition, meaning more funds, which we are in desperate need of."

"Fucking Orlesians," Melody muttered, hearing a chuckle escape from the Commander. "We aren't going for a social call. We are trying to stop an assassination, not flit around and eat fancy cakes and dance all night."

"Now, now Melody," Leliana cooed. Her icy blue eyes danced with mischief. "You used to always dream of meeting your prince at a ball. He would sweep you off your feet, take you to some faraway land-"

"It was a child's dream Leli," Melody sighed. Her hand reached up to twirl the rings that rested on her neck. "The Maker has made it known I am not allowed to be happy. I thought I had my happy ending, twice, and it was ripped away. I don't want any princes. I don't want love." Her voice turned small, her voice cracking towards the end before erupting into another coughing fit. The room felt like there was a fire burning through it.

She took a calming breath before staring a hole into the War Room table. "How much time do we have before the ball?"

"Two months Inquisitor," Josephine stated with a smile that didn't quite reach.

Melody nodded and looked up with a half-smile. "If that is everything, I think I will return to my room." She didn't wait for a response as she turned to dart out the door, leaving the advisors to finish the meeting up by themselves. 

The walk to her room was slow going. She didn't want to make it seem as if she was in a hurry, but all her potions had been stored up there. Taking the stairs two at a time, she pushed her door open and swiped her satchel up from the loveseat, reaching in to grab the purply liquid and tossing it back. The tightness in her chest disappeared after a few minutes and she collapsed onto the loveseat, exhausted. She let the sleep that pulled at her finally take her with a soft sigh.

~~~

Warmth rested on her face and Melody frowned, screwing up her face. She slowly blinked her eyes against the orange light pouring into her room. How long had she been asleep? Sitting up, she groaned and let out another series of wet coughs. Her breath caught in her throat and she reached for her satchel, downing another potion. Taking a deep breath, she moved to her desk. A tray sat on it with what appeared to be a soup. 

She gently pressed a finger to the liquid, finding it chilled. "How long did I sleep," she muttered and moved to her balcony, glancing at the sparring ring that had been set up while she was gone. Soldiers were running drills, Rylens Starkhaven voice rising through the air. Melody frowned. He only ran drill in the afternoon so Cullen could attend their meetings. 

With a muttered curse, Melody turned to start getting dressed. She still wore her armor, her body aching from the leathers pressing into her skin in addition to sleeping on the loveseat for nearly twelve hours. She began coughing again, leaning her head against the cool wood of her wardrobe as she grabbed a blouse. The edges of her vision were speckles with small black dots as she took a breath to settle herself. She couldn't be sick. Not now. 

She was in the middle of changing when a knock echoed through her room. "Inquisitor," the Antivan accent called out. "Are you alright?"

She grunted as she slid her shirt on, shoving back the cough that threatened to push through. Maker, her lungs  _burned. "_ I'm fine Josie," she called, cursing the gravelly sound to her throat and the sudden shortened use of the Ambassador's name. "Just a late start is all. I'll be there in a few minutes."

The click of heels faded down the stairs and Melody sat on the top step, her head resting against the rail. Every cough shook her body, making her curse out her lungs. What did she do to deserve this? Other than run all over Maker damned rainy Ferelden.

The wave of heat spread over her again, making her groan before walking down the stairs to the War Room. Every step pushed more and more air from her lungs as if she was holding her breath. By the time she made it to the wooden doors of the War Room, she was panting.  _ Not good. _

She pushed open the door and all eyes turned to her, worry set on the advisors' faces. "Who died," she tried to ask but her voice came out softer than she had expected.

"No one Inquisitor," Leliana spoke finally. "We were just discussing some of the details from your meeting with Hawke and Warden Stroud."

Melody hummed and leaned against the table, trying to mask her shallow breath. She couldn't be sick. Not right now. "Hawke and Stroud are off to the Western Approach; apparently that is where the Wardens are now?" She said to more to herself but everyone nodded.

"I can have Scout Harding head out there now, do some investigating-"

"No." Melody surprised herself as she looked up from the table. "Not... not right now. We need to focus on stopping the Empress's assassination. Besides, Blackwall, Vivienne, and Solas have things they need help with in the Hinterlands." She wiped a hand across her eye and down her cheek. When did she start sweating? 

_ You should probably lie down. _

_ I'm fine. Stay out of it. _

"There is another thing Inquisitor," Cullen said in his  _ Commander  _ voice. She fought the urge to eyeroll and waved her hand for him to continue. "We've found where the red templars came from. Therinfal Redoubt."

She frowned and glanced over at him. "I doubt that matters now considering they just ran out of Haven not even a month ago."

He pinched his nose and sighed, closing his eyes before continuing. "We cannot allow them to gain strength Inquisitor. We need to find their source if we are to weaken them."

She nodded and glanced at Leliana, whose gaze never left her. "Will you send Scout Harding to..." She glanced at Cullen, who pointed at a spot in Orlais, making her groan. "The Emerald Graves? Maker Cullen, are you  _ trying _ to kill me off?" She tried to make a joke about it and laugh it off but a cough shook her, taking her breath away. 

"Do we need to get the healer Melody," Leliana asked. For once, her voice was laced with concern, and Melody let out a weak laugh, shaking her head. 

"No, no, I'll be fine. I just caught a cold," she tried to say as assuredly as possible. Blue eyes met purple as she knew she had been caught but she just waved it off with a lopsided grin. "I'll be fine by tomorrow. I'll take Blackwall, Vivienne, and Solas with me when I leave for the Hinterlands. Gives Harding time to travel to Orlais, then I will take care of our red lyrium smugglers, okay?" 

She was proud of how strong her voice had been, despite the grip that was on her lungs. "Anything else," she asked and Josephine nodded, glancing at her clipboard. "Lady Vivienne would like you to meet her to get the measurements for your uniform." The Ambassador paused and frowned before looking at Cullen. "You as well Commander."

"Maker, why can't I just wear my armor I have on now?" He sounded like a child being told to change his outfit and it made her laugh to herself. The advisors bickered back and forth before she finally raised her hand, the green Anchor shining and grabbing their attention. 

"He can just meet me, and we can do it together." She turned to face him with a shrug. "We can go over troop movements and how training is going."

Cullen huffed but dropped the subject, a miffed look on his face but agreeing none the less. "Splendid! We will meet in Vivienne's quarters in two hours."

Everyone swept out of the War Room at the conclusion of the meeting, leaving Melody to make her own way out. She let out a sigh of relief as Josephine hadn't returned to her office allowing her to make a quick escape out the door and towards her quarters. Two hours. That meant two hours for a nap. Attempt to sleep off... whatever this was before it got worse.

She made up the stairs before she had to pause outside her door, her breaths coming out in short pants. Sleep pulled at her as she slipped past her door, sliding down it. Two hours. She could rest for two hours.


End file.
